Something More
by aleexmariee
Summary: Set after Frostbite. Rose and Christian make a huge mistake after Dimitri leaves to guard Tasha. Can they get past it, or has this stirred up some unwanted feelings? And what happens when Dimitri and Tasha come to visit?
1. Chapter 1

_Something More…_

Summary…

_Set after Frostbite. Dimitri has left to guard Tasha and Rose has agreed to start training with Christian. She's heartbroken, will someone step up to make her feel better?_

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"Come on, Christian!" I encouraged him, as he threw another punch in my direction.

"I'm trying." He grunted, as I landed a blow to his shoulder.

I had been training Christian for a couple of weeks now. He had begged me to help him after the incident at Spokane, until I finally agreed. I had been reluctant, but I still believed Moroi should be given the opportunity to fight if they were willing. I had run it past Kirova, who had given me the go ahead.

We now trained in the times when Dimitri used to train me: it helped me by keeping me active and it was definitely helping Christian. I sighed mentally as I thought about Dimitri. He had left me to take up Tasha's offer just after Spokane. That had been just over three weeks ago and although I could pretend it everything was normal in front of people, I was still struggling with it whenever I gave myself the time to think about it.

Christian and I had built up an almost friendship over our training sessions, though it remained sarcastic and bitter, as was true to our natures. It couldn't deny that he was a nice guy, we'd gained mutual respect for each other now, but he still annoyed the hell out of me. He and Lissa were still going strong, despite the odd argument over nothing now and then and I resented them for it even more now Dimitri was gone, though I never let on.

I knew I'd become more introverted and quiet since Dimitri left, but only Christian had picked up on it, mainly because he was the main person who saw me by myself now. He had once questioned me about it, but I said it was just after Mason's death, nothing more. He had let it drop, it was a completely understandable reason, of course, and was in fact part of the reason for my change in attitude, but I could tell it still bothered him.

"You know you can hit me better than that." I whined. "Hit me." I said, waggling my body in front of him: an automatic movement reminiscent of my training sessions with Dimitri. Although I almost flushed in embarrassment when I realised I'd in fact done it in Christian, some of my confidence was restored when I noticed his eyes widen slightly.

I taunted him slightly, while he continued to lunge at me unsuccessfully – I knew aggravating him would improve his skills: he was an incredibly emotion based fighter. Just as I stuck my tongue out at him, he finally hit the mark and managed to pull me down to the floor, straddling and successfully pinning me. He held my hands above my head as we both panted heavily. We had been working out for around about an hour now, so we were both sweaty and out of breath.

Whilst I tried to catch my breath, I found myself studying Christian's normally pale face, who's cheeks were flushed. It was the first time Christian had managed to pin me and therefore the first time we'd ever been this close. It was the first time I'd been this close to someone since Dimitri had left and despite knowing it was wrong, I found myself wishing that Christian would close the distance even further.

There was just something about the way in which he was holding me down, pressing his weight up against me, that was arousing.

I had always known Christian was hot, there was no denying it, no matter how much I wanted to sometimes, but I had never really thought about him in a sexual way: I'd been too consumed by Dimitri to notice anyone else in that way. However, right now, with him straddling me, I _did _think about him in that way.

Christian hadn't moved off me yet, and was gazing intently at me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was having the same thought process as me. He leaned in ever so slightly, pushing himself further into my lap and putting more pressure on my wrists which he was holding above my head. He could tell by the fact I wasn't fighting back that we weren't about to start sparring again anytime soon.

He was almost centimetres from my face now, but neither of us had pulled back. My heart was beating rapidly as I imagined what it would be like to kiss him. Lust showed clearly in his eyes, as he moved his hips _ever so slightly _against my own. It caused an instant reaction, as I bit my lip to hold in the soft moan that wanted to escape. It wasn't hard to ignore the nagging in the back of my head that I should be thinking about my best friend as the lust coursed through me, as powerful as ever. I didn't want to think about anything other than how much I wanted the man currently on top of me.

Christian noticed the reaction he'd caused, and I felt his hardness growing against me. His whole body was pressed up against mine, and without hesitation I confirmed what I wanted by rubbing my breasts roughly against his chest. He groaned slightly, then lowered his lips to mine roughly.

His kiss was heated and passionate as his lips moved in sync with mine as all outside thoughts were eradicated completely. We continued to rub our bodies against each other, moaning rather loudly to say we were both in the gym.

His hands travelled up and down my sides, while mine twisted themselves into his black hair. He pulled away and lifted me up, showing strength I hadn't seen in his practices, before pushing me hard against the wall. A loud moan escaped my mouth as Christian pressed up against me, as close as he could get.

Hitching my leg up, my centre was pressed savagely against his throbbing erection. I gasped, never knowing we could get this kind of response out of each other and Christian took the opportunity to pay my neck some attention, sucking and nipping and causing my hands to tighten in his hair almost painfully. My other leg joined the first, as I rocked my hips roughly against his. Each time I did, his grip on me tightened.

We locked lips again, opening our mouths and tangling out tongues. The heat between us was amazing. I never thought I would want to feel like this with anyone apart from Dimitri, but this was incredible and Dimitri was the last person on my mind as all things Christian filled my brain.

I began to drag Christian slightly. He looked confused until I stopped. My back was now pressing against the door of the storeroom. Realisation dawned on his face, and he began fiddling with the door knob. After a few seconds, it opened unexpectedly and we both crashed down onto some spare mats on the other side of the door.

Christian kicked the door closed with his feet, not moving his weight off me. He pulled my top up and over my head, kissing, nipping and biting softly over my skin. Arching my back at the pleasure he was making me feel, I felt moisture pool between my legs. He reached behind me and unclasped my bra, allowing it to fall to the floor beside me.

He moved his lips to my breast, paying it the same attention he had to the rest of my skin. Suddenly, he bit down gently on my nipple. It sent a wave of pleasure through me. "_Christian._" I cried out in a breathy moan.

He smirked against my breast, as I moved my hands, tugging his shirt up and over his head. I raked my nails down his chest, trying my best not to leave marks, but being turned on even more by the red trails I left on his skin. He moaned gently at the feeling of pain turning to pleasure.

Slowly, he pulled down the short shorts I had been wearing. I was just left in my little panties now, which were dripping wet as I bucked against him.

He shifted his hand until it was dangerously close to my centre. Edging my panties to the side, he rubbed me gently. I dug my nails even harder into his back as he pushed a finger into me.

Moaning in excitement, he pushed another one in, increasing the pace. My eyes slipped shut and I found myself clinging onto anything I could grab as I threw my head back, writhing against Christian. I cried out as my orgasm rocked through my body, needing him inside me more than I thought possible.

Once I had recovered and begun to breath slightly more normal, which was hard considering how aroused I still was, I decided it was Christian's turn. I ran my hands seductively down his body, stopping when I reached his trousers.

Painfully slowly, I unzipped his pants, peeling them off his legs. I was left looking at his boxers which were restraining his erection. I brought them down, and his hardness broke free.

I grabbed him suddenly, causing him to gasp. Moving my hand up and down his length, he buried his face into my neck, alternating between gasping and biting. "Rose. Oh my _God _Rose."

I could see he was about to find his release, so I stopped abruptly. Panting, he looked down, to see what my problem was.

I crawled back over him, showing what I wanted by rocking my hips up against his. He pushed me away for a moment, leaning over to grab a condom from his trouser pocket. After slipping it on, he grabbed my hips roughly.

He checked, to make sure I was ready, before pulling me over his cock. I'd had a slight moment of hesitation as I'd hovered above me and I did feel pain as he penetrated me, hard and deep, but it soon turned to unfathomable pleasure. He obviously had no idea it was my first time, but I was glad he didn't, I didn't want him to be cautious with me. This was perfect.

His fingers bit into my hips as he pulled and pushed me over his length. I moaned as I rubbed my hands over his muscles. Although he was still relatively thin compared to the dhampirs, Christian was beginning to develop a toned body from the weight training we did and I appreciated it with my hands and mouth.

We continued moving with each other, until Christian found his release, collapsing on top of me, breathing hard. Neither of us spoke, we were too busy trying to catch our breath.

Suddenly, there was a noise outside and I heard the other novices piling into the gym. I had totally forgotten there was a lesson after our morning practice. Christian also heard it and jumped up as we both rushed around trying to find our clothes and sort our appearances out.

Once we were fully dressed and had attempted to make ourselves look presentable, we left the store room. Only a couple of people were in, so nobody stopped to talk to us and we exited the gym in silence, barely glancing at each other.

I coughed awkwardly when we were by ourselves and scratched the back of my head. "So, um-" I wasn't sure how to even finish the sentence. Shame was instantly upon me and I could tell my Christian's face he felt it too. Now that the moment was over, all that was left was guilt. "I guess we'll talk later." And then I fled down the corridor and back to my room; I needed to get changed quickly before classes started.

While I walked, I thought. I couldn't believe what I had just done.

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_Something I wrote about 4 years ago I just dug up and edited a tad. Still deciding whether to make this more than a one-shot or not!_


	2. Chapter 2

**_I was in the mood to keep writing, so here's a second chapter! It's been so long since I've read VA that I'm totally back into it. Forgotten how awesome it was! Especially Rose and Christian ;)_**

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_Chapter Two…_

Stripping down to my underwear, I quickly examined myself in the mirror. Thankfully, the only noticeable damage was a love bite, which was low enough down my neck to be hidden by a high cut t-shirt. My legs and back were covered in finger bruises and a few scratches, but I could easily blame that on training.

I sighed and couldn't look at myself any longer. I was disgusted with myself. I'd been so desperate for someone to show me some affection that I'd gone to my best friend's boyfriend. It was awful, an awful thing to do. How was I ever going to face her again? This wasn't some small thing, it wasn't even like we'd just mistakenly kissed. We'd gone the whole way.

I couldn't deny that it had been good, obviously, but that was besides the point. It wasn't worth it. I could have chosen anyone else in the school. Many people would have been willing to sleep with me, but it had to be Christian, had to be Christian who'd been there. I didn't even want to consider Christian's motives behind sleeping with me. I supposed he'd just been lost in the moment too.

Leaving my room in my new outfit, I double checked that my love bite was completely hidden by both my shirt and hair, no one should be able to notice it.

I tried my best to avoid both Christian and Lissa during the day, deciding to train in the gym rather than eating lunch. Lissa had wondered where I was, but had been content to spend some time with Christian. The day had gone extremely slow, especially my time in the gym, and I took some of my anger at myself out on the training dummies.

After classes had finished, I was unable to stay away from them any longer. Lissa was sending a persistent message through the bond that she was in the library and I should go and spend some time with her. Reluctantly, I headed off in that direction.

Christian and Lissa were sat on a mat in the corner of the library, both reading books. Lissa was leant on Christian's knee, which was propped up, and gave me a dazzling smile as soon as he noticed me. An unreadable emotion flickered across Christian's face, but he managed to cover it well, returning his attention to the book he was reading.

I had to force myself to remain normal, though my actions felt wooden, as I sat down and retrieved a book from the pile Liss had left on the mat. "Hey guys."

"Hey Rose." Lissa said, contently. "I haven't seen you around school much today." She commented, not meaning anything particular by it, but immediately raising my defenses.

"Yeah, I just felt like training this lunch." I decided I may as well tell some sort of truth, if I lied she'd just end up finding out.

She didn't question me and I knew she was attributing it to needing to be alone after the time in Spokane. It was almost a relief that I had that excuse to fall back on now that I'd done this terrible thing. I didn't understand how it could have all gone wrong so quickly. "I'm just going to go and grab a book." She told us, getting up and walking to the other side of the library, leaving Christian and I alone.

"Look." I began, finally bringing myself to look at Christian. "We shouldn't have done that." It was obvious and didn't even really need saying.

"I know." Christian agreed averting his eyes and running a hand through his hair in aggravation. "I don't even know how it happened. I feel awful."

I nodded in response. "Look, maybe we should not train for a while." I suggested, not wanting to end up in that situation again. "I don't know how we'd explain it to Liss though." I sighed. Everything had just become incredibly complicated. "It was a mistake, a one off." I finally stated. "We'll keep training, but if anything happens we'll call it off." I decided

"Sounds fair enough." He replied, looking down at his book. "I'm sorry about this whole situation. I hope it doesn't become too awkward between you and Lissa." Grimacing, Christian's hand balled into a fist. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't exactly just forget about it and carry on with Lissa like nothing happened."

My eyes widened at what he was suggesting, but I could understand where he was coming from. "You still love her." I stated confidently, though did he? Why else would he have wanted to fuck me. "Just see how it goes."

We sat in an awkward silence for a couple of seconds after that, until Lissa returned. Now they were both absorbed with their reading, I decided to pay some attention to the book I had retrieved, and realised it was one about Moroi magic, completely irrelevant to any of my courses. Leaning forward, I sifted through the pile until I found one on Slavic Art that I could file through.

Liss gasped as I began to move back to my seat, though and I did well to cover up the panic that shot through me. "Rose, what's that on your neck?" She grasped my top, pulling it down a bit further. It must have revealed the mark when I leant forward.

I grimaced. Of course I couldn't have gotten away with that. Now I really did have to lie, I'd just wanted everything to blow over and be left to deal with the guilt by myself, without having to make Liss suspicious.

"What did you _really _do at lunch time?" She demanded playfully.

I could feel the colour rush to my cheeks and I forced myself not to glance at Christian. "I just made out with another novice, okay?" I pretended to admit sheepishly. "He's in the year below us, I doubt you'd know him." I could feel Liss's excitement through the bond. "It was a one-off thing, okay?" I assured her, hoping to dismantle some of the hope she had that I'd found someone. "I was just feeling a bit lonely." That was enough to make her excitement fade. Though I could feel some slight suspicion that I might have actually been with Adrian. I refrained from rolling my eyes.

Liss couldn't quite bring herself to drop it completely yet though. "So? How far did you go?" She demanded smugly. "You didn't finally, you know?" She winked at me and my cheeks flamed.

"No!" I exclaimed, shame and guilt coursing through me as I saw Christian's eyes widen at what Lissa had just implied.

Lissa chuckled. "You're sure?" She checked. "You're going to have to do it eventually."

I scowled at her. "I'm sure."

I could see that Christian was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and he moved his arm slightly to check his watch. His face lit up slightly then he glanced at me. "Rose? Isn't it time for training?"

Checking the clock which hung on the wall opposite me, it actually was quite close to time for us to leave. "Yeah." I agreed. "Guess we'd better go and get changed. We both stood up and Liss was forced to move from where she'd been leaning on Christian. "See you later Liss."

Christian gave her a small peck on the lips and I had to look away. It was going to be too weird for a long time. I wondered whether the guilt would ever go away.

We walked in silence until we were out on the quad and no one was around. "I didn't realise you were a virgin." His tone wasn't angry, exactly, but more confused.

"Yeah." I admitted. "Sorry, I didn't think it'd matter. I wasn't really thinking about it at the time."

Christian sighed. "I feel awful. It shouldn't have been in a store cupboard, and it shouldn't have been me." He glanced away and I rested a gentle hand on his arm.

"I don't regret it in that sense." I tried to explain. "It was really good sex." I almost wanted to laugh at the hilarity of the situation. "It's just because of Liss, and well, you know. Just everything."

He nodded. "I know. But still, it really shouldn't have been me. It's supposed to be someone you actually care about."

I chuckled. "I care about you Christian. More than most people here. I'd have been waiting forever if I wanted to wait until I was in love with someone." Then I scowled and averted my eyes. "My one chance at that is gone forever." I muttered it under my breath and my heart constricted slightly. Christian definitely wasn't the person I'd imagined losing my virginity too. Dimitri and I were over for good, though.

Christian was studying me closely. "Mason? I didn't think you felt that way about him." He realised the sensitivity of the topic, though, and stumbled over his words. "I mean, I know you were close, obviously, I just didn't think you wanted to be with him."

I shook my head gently. "I didn't, I didn't feel that way about him." I assured him, though I knew what question was coming now. Maybe it would be good to tell Christian. We had our secrets now, maybe sharing one more wouldn't hurt.

"Who, then?" Christian inquired, wondering whether he was pushing his limits or not.

"Dimitri." I blurted the name out before I could regret it and began to fiddle with my sleeve whilst Christian considered this new piece of information.

"You were in love with Dimitri?" He clarified.

I nodded. "I suppose I still am." I laughed bitterly. "But yeah, that's not ever going to happen. So," I shrugged. "I really would have been waiting forever for someone like that again." I knew that was some kind of slight insult towards Christian, but I figured he'd understand what I meant. We both knew we definitely didn't love each other. Our attraction had been completely lust based.

"And he just left?" Christian's tone was somewhat angry now. "What a bastard."

"Oh, I don't blame him." I explained to Christian. It was true, Dimitri had made the right decision. We both knew it really, we never could have worked anyway. It didn't stop it hurting though. "We couldn't have been together. It would have just gotten harder and harder to be around each other. Especially when we were both guarding Lissa." It was so easy to say the words, but Christian couldn't possibly understand how much it hurt knowing they were true.

We were almost at my dorm, now, and Christian grasped my arm gently, pulling me into a swift and slightly awkward hug. "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

I waved him off and retrieved my key from my pocket. "It's fine. But don't tell anyone, obviously." I warned him, retrieving some better clothes for training and moving into the bathroom to change. It was a slight relief having told someone about Dimitri, even if it was only Christian. I got the feeling he understood me, though, and after this morning we had developed some kind of mutual agreement that things had become slightly more intimate in our everyday relationship. I felt that Christian would come to me with his problems, if he needed to.

When I re-emerged in my tank top and shorts, I knew the extent of our activities this morning was more than visible and Christian couldn't seem to look away from the bruises which littered my thighs. The heat rose to my cheeks, but I tried to ignore his scrutiny.

He shook his head to clear it and returned his attention to my face, though his eyes did occasionally wander. "So does that mean Dimitri is leading Aunt Tasha on? Because I know she likes him."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure." I admitted, searching for a bobble to tie my hair up with. "I think he does like your Aunt, but he'll be too upset about leaving me for a while." I predicted. "They'll probably get together eventually."

"But she's his second choice." Christian grimaced.

I bit my lip, trying not to be bitter towards the situation. Obviously Christian cared for his Aunt, I couldn't outright insult his opinion. "I don't think I'm really viable as a first choice." I responded with a grimace. "She'll become his first choice."

He nodded and I could see his annoyance had been diffused somewhat. "I suppose." He admitted.

"Come on, we'll get no training done if we sit and talk about this any more." I told him. "It's fine, okay? It's not something worth thinking about."

Now I just had to hope that training went as planned and that a repeat of this morning never happened again.


	3. Chapter 3

**_So many reviews already! Thanks guys, it means a lot 3 CxR is so fun to write!_**

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_Chapter Three_

My heated dream which involved reliving my encounter with Christian this morning began to fade around me and I tried desperately to cling onto Christian as my surroundings shifted to match Adrian's room here at the Academy.

I sighed as the last remainder of Christian's body disappeared from my vision. Adrian dissolved in front of me and rewarded me with a large smile, but then it fell off almost immediately.

I sent him a puzzled look, but then realised why he was looking so mad. I was wearing what I'd gone to bed in, which was only a large t-shirt. All the bruises and the love bite were visible.I shifted uncomfortably under his heavy scrutiny.

"You look like you've been having fun." He commented with a grimace, continuing to stare at my legs.

"I just made out with someone in the year below." I explained with a grimace. Why did Adrian have to dream-walk me tonight? Of all the nights. I'd already struggled with explaining this to Liss, I just wanted to move on and try and forget about it. "It's not a big deal."

Adrian raised a sarcastic eyebrow, making a sweeping gesture of my legs. "It looks like a big deal."

"That's from training." I dismissed him, pretending to be offended. "It wasn't anything, honestly." Then I smirked for a slight second. "It wasn't even good."

Adrian looked sceptical, but he decided not to push it too far, my comment clearly hadn't amused him like I'd hoped. "You seem to have moved on quickly enough."

His words cut me and any smile I'd had on my face vanished. I averted my eyes. "I've not moved on at all. It didn't mean anything. I didn't even know him that well. I just felt lonely, I wanted to see if I could still enjoy making out with someone randomly." It hurt me to lie about something like this. I wondered why I'd really slept with Christian. And why he'd slept with me. I figured it was just the heat of the moment. Like we'd suddenly realised how attracted we were to each other and had been just been consumed by sudden lust.

Adrian sighed and slumped down to take a seat on the bed. "I'm sorry for snapping." He apologised. "I just don't like seeing you like that. I don't want to imagine you with anyone else." Now I felt even guiltier for lying to him. He'd have every right to be angry at me if he knew the truth. "I just thought that after guardian Belikov left you might finally give me a chance."

I joined him on the bed and forced myself not to hang my head in shame. Maybe I would give Adrian a chance eventually. "I don't want to use you as my rebound." I told him honestly. "And I know that's not what you want either."

He nodded. "It's not." He agreed, then thankfully changed the subject a little. "How have you been holding up little dhampir?"

I shrugged. "I've been okay." I decided I should just be honest with him. "I've been trying to distract myself, training Christian has helped, and hanging out with Liss and stuff. It's mainly just at night." I admitted. "I get bad dreams sometimes." I chuckled gently. "You're actually a welcome relief sometimes." Not tonight, though, I'd been perfectly happy in my dream world.

He gave me a faint smile. "Well I'm more than happy to visit your dreams." Then he began to blur slightly. "You're waking up." He managed to say before I was met with the familiar setting of my own room.

Christian and I had cancelled training this morning because it was the beginning of the field experience and so the gym was being used for us to receive our assignments.

The excitement began to bubble inside of me. I'd been waiting ages for this. No normal lessons, just spending all day and night with Liss, getting to fight the guardians and relax a bit. Then it dimmed as I realised what spending 6 weeks of time with Lissa actually meant. Because of what had happened with Christian, it was going to mean 6 weeks of complete guilt, lying to my best friend and trying desperately not to be awkward around her and give anything away.

Sighing, my happy mood deflated, I got ready and went to meet Eddie before going to the gym. "Excited?" He inquired, a rare grin gracing his face.  
"Of course." I agreed. His enthusiasm was contagious and I allowed it to flow through me, smiling as I focused on how much I'd been looking forward to this. "It's going to be good."

"I just hope I get someone good." Eddie replied, looking at Alberta, who'd just appeared on the stage, hopefully. "At least you're lucky enough to know who you're getting." I refused to let my smile fade and decided to listen to Alberta's spiel about the rules to keep my mind off what the field experience actually held for me.

Everyone fell silent as Alberta began to read out the assignments in alphabetical order.

"Eddie Castile, you have been assigned to Vasilisa Dragomir." A mixture of anger and relief flooded through me and Eddie glanced at me apologetically before walking up to the front and retrieving his wooden stake.

I grimaced, now I just really hoped I wasn't assigned to someone I didn't like. "Rose Hathaway," I held my breath. Both Ralph and Jesse hadn't been called yet. "You have been assigned to Christian Ozera."

My eyes widened. That _definitely _wasn't ideal. I dragged myself to the front of the room, my body suddenly feeling extremely heavy.

It wasn't that I wasn't glad to be assigned to someone I quite liked, it was just that, after the incident, spending all my time with Christian couldn't be a good idea. I had to sleep in his room and everything. I sighed as I took the practice stake and joined the other novices who'd already been assigned Moroi.

Eddie's face was full of apology. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea, why would they even do this?"

I grimaced, but waved him off. "At least she got someone really good, if it wasn't me."

Eddie smiled at the compliment, but I had to try not to show the slight relief I was feeling. "I'm going to have to go and talk to Alberta." I told Eddie when all the novices had been called.

I wasn't even sure why I was going to Alberta. I didn't know whether guarding Christian or Lissa would be worse. Either way, I was positive Alberta wouldn't change my assignment, no matter what. The only reason I was really going to speak to her was because it would probably look odd if I didn't, considering how passionate I'd always been about guarding Liss.

"Christian, really?" I demanded when I caught up with her. Thankfully, she was alone and I didn't have to deal with all the guardians looking at me.

Alberta sighed. "Yes, Rose." She confirmed. "You have to learn to work with other Moroi. And this way it allows you to keep training Christian. I figured that since I wasn't going to assign you to Vasilisa either way, Christian would be the next best thing. It'll mean you'll be with the princess a lot anyway."

I nodded. I couldn't really argue with that. At least now I could tell Lissa that I'd tried to get Alberta to swap when she was disappointed I wouldn't be her guardian. "Okay." I agreed, jogging back to where Eddie was waiting for me. "Let's go find our Moroi." I suggested, slightly dejectedly. I was going to have to put on a seriously annoyed front for Lissa.

We were supposed to go and find them at lunch time, which would be any time now, and I flicked through the package that gave me all the information I could possibly need on Christian. I suddenly realised that they'd probably also assigned me to Christian because they knew I was sensitive about his past and didn't despise him for it, like some of the other novices might have.

Lissa beamed when she saw me walking towards her. "You're my guardian!" She exclaimed, rushing up to me and giving me a quick hug. Then she saw what was in my hands and the expression I was wearing. "Oh." She scowled. "I guess not."

Christian raised an eyebrow from where he was sitting. "You're not Liss's guardian?" He questioned, not bothering to move from his seat. "Who's are you then?"

I grimaced at him before throwing him the packet in my hands. "Take a guess, buddy."

His eyes widened marginally before they met mine. He'd obviously had the same thought process as me. Christian managed to shake it off, though, and smirked at me. "What a stroke of luck." He grinned. "You and me are going to have so much fun, Rose. Picking out curtains, doing each other's hair, telling ghost stories." He teased.

I snatched the packet of information back off him. "Just kill me now." I exclaimed dramatically, slumping down into the seat beside him.

Lissa chuckled. I could feel that she was still disappointed I wasn't her guardian through the bond, but she was happy I'd still be around and also that her guardian was Eddie. They got on well enough.

"So how exactly does this work?" Christian asked me as Eddie and Lissa talked between themselves.

"Well I basically just follow you about." I admitted. "Come to your classes and stuff. The guardians dress up as Strigoi and I have to protect you." Then my face fell into a frown. "I have to sleep in your room and stuff."

"Oh right." Christian didn't let any emotion show on his face, but it was obvious the situation was becoming increasingly awkward for him. "I guess it works pretty well, really." He admitted. "It'll be easier with training and stuff." Then he smirked. "You'll have no excuse for being late any more."

"Hey!" I exclaimed, swatting his arm playfully. "You know I'm not late _that _often."

Christian smirked. "I don't think you're allowed to attack your charge."

I grimaced. "My apologies, Lord Ozera." I mock bowed and was rewarded with a scowl.

"Okay, we'll call it quits. You can attack me as much as you like as long as you never call me that again."

I grinned and punched him in the arm, none too softly. "Deal."


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm enjoying writing this so much! Thanks for the reviews, they really mean a lot 3_

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_Chapter Four_

Christian's anxious face filled my vision and I scooted away from him as quickly as my reactions would let me until I was backed against the wall. The images from my dream still swam in my vision as I struggled to focus on Christian, who I could hear was speaking to me.

"Rose." He was sensible enough not to try and get close to me again, he'd gotten the message that I wasn't fully awake yet. "Rose, calm down. It's okay, it was just a dream."

As I fully came round, I realised that my forehead was sweating and l glanced away from Christian in embarrassment at waking him up. "Sorry." I apologised meekly. "I didn't realise I made noises when I had a bad dream, I mean, I normally sleep by myself." I stated the obvious, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to stop them stinging.

Christian waved me off, still looking concerned. "I don't mind." He assured me seriously, standing up from where he was leaning over me and sitting back on his double bed. He patted the seat next to him. "Come here. I doubt you're going to get to sleep again now."

He was right, of course. I found it extremely difficult to get back to sleep after I'd had a nightmare, I normally read, or did something else that would distract me from the painful memories which had been brought back to me. "It's okay, I'll just read for a bit." I dismissed his offer. "I don't want to keep you awake." It was only just after four in the afternoon, there was plenty of sleeping time still to be had.

Christian patted the spot with his hand slightly more forcefully. "Just come here." He instructed, sounding slightly exasperated.

I complied and removed myself from the itchy bedding I was laying in to clamber underneath the plush covers that covered Christian's bed. "Thanks." I muttered as he retrieved a glass of water from his bedside table and handed it to me.

"You've been having nightmares since Spokane?" He inquired seriously.

I felt slightly more comfortable talking to Christian about this, since he'd been through the same experience as me, although he hadn't been particularly close to Mason, and my dreams were also haunted by Dimitri just as often. "Yeah." I admitted. "And after Dimitri left it got worse." I hung my head in shame to think that his absence had effected me that much. Dimitri probably slept soundly every night.

"I've been having bad dreams too." Christian reassured me. "It's hardly unexpected. We've been through a lot."

"I know." I agreed. "They scare me." I finally allowed myself to say it. "It's always something different, too." I scowled at the memory of the one I'd had today. Instead of Mason, it had been Dimitri who'd had his neck snapped. And there'd been nothing I could do about it, I'd just stood and watched. And then they'd come for me and I'd not been strong enough to stop them this time. That's when Christian had woken me up.

He put a gentle hand on my shoulder as my fist clenched. "It's okay, Rose." He soothed me gently. "They'll go away." It almost sounded like a promise, though I had a hard time believing it. "Maybe staying in my room will actually help a bit." He suggested optimistically. "It can't be the same as waking up in an empty room and feeling like that."

I considered how much better it felt having talked to Christian, and just knowing that he was there. I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." I responded, giving him a small smile. "You should wake me up if you have a bad dream." I told him seriously. "We can cry together, or something." I teased him slightly.

He chuckled softly. "Yeah." He agreed. "Sure we can."

My smile grew slightly bigger and all of the anxiety from my dream faded. I began to peel back the covers. "I'm gonna try and go back to sleep. I think I'll be able to manage it." A yawn escaped my mouth as I finished my sentence, but Christian moved my hand from where I was about to move the comforter.

"Just sleep in here. You'll get back to sleep easier." He advised me seriously. "I have a pretty massive bed, there's plenty of room."

I hesitated momentarily, but eventually nodded. I was hardly in the mood to be ripping Christian's clothes off, I figured it couldn't do any harm. Plus, it was _far_ comfier than my makeshift bed on the floor, and awfully less itchy too. "Thanks." I said as I settled down, laying with my back to him, as I figured was safest. "Night Christian."

"Night Rose."

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I realised immediately that despite this bed being plenty big enough for the both of us, Christian had, probably involuntarily, decided to discard his side of the bed and join me on mine instead.

His arms were wrapped around me from behind and his entire body was pushed against me, including his morning erection, as he spooned. I refused to let myself be aroused as memories of our gym encounter flooded through my mind and laid still as I decided what to do. I wasn't sure if I should just wake Christian now so we could move away from each other and get ready for training, or whether I should just wait it out and avoid any kind of awkwardness that might arise from our position.

I figured that some kind of compromise would be best and I attempted to loosen Christian's grip on me without actually waking him up. When I finally manoeuvred him enough that I thought I could get out, it turned out my efforts had been in vain and I was pulled back towards him, only this time I was facing his chest and his morning wood was poking into my stomach provocatively.

I bit my lip as my gaze moved from his chest up to study his face, though I was shocked when I saw clear blue eyes staring back at me. "Morning." My voice was barely audible as my voice caught in my throat.

Christian didn't respond, except for his mouth to twitch and one of the hands which was resting on my back to begin tracing patterns. His touch was so light that I almost questioned whether I was imagining it or not, but my automatic response was to return the gesture, gliding my hand down his side and coming dangerously close to his cock. His eyes flickered shut and I barely heard a groan from the back of his throat. His arms tightened automatically around me, which both brought our faces closer together and allowed his hardness to brush against my stomach.

"_Rose._" He managed to say my name through clenched teeth. "We really can't."

Though he said that, his actions spoke differently and his mouth began to slip closer and closer to my ear, leaving a trail of hot kisses as he went.

I held my breath. "Christian." I replied. "We definitely can't." Only my hand slipped down to exactly where he wanted and I began to rub him painfully slowly.

Just as his lips reached mine, the sharp beeping cut through the room like a knife and although we didn't spring away from each other, we knew that the moment had passed. I rested my head on Christian's chest in defeat.

We took a few minutes to recover, before getting out of bed in silence. I retreated to the bathroom to put on my training clothes, leaving Christian in his room to get changed himself. I ran a hand through my hair in disbelief and disgust at what was happening, what had just happened. How could I have thought sleeping in his bed was acceptable? After what had happened this morning, we both knew that this was going to be a difficult six weeks. It had been one day and we'd already given in to temptation.

I sighed. Where had this even come from? Just because Christian was attractive didn't mean I had to feel the need to throw myself at him whenever we got that close. Holding my breath for a long time, before letting out a long breath, I tried to calm myself down. Christian was probably going through the exact same thing as I was now in his own room. It wasn't like we'd ever been like this before, he was probably just as astounded as to how quickly our attraction to one another had developed.

It was also strange because it was a purely physical attraction. I mean, I didn't mind Christian, I held respect for him, but I didn't want to lay and cuddle with him, I just wanted him naked and all over me, and even then it was only in the moment. When I saw him in the corridor I had no urge to sleep with him.

Letting out a final sigh, I tied my hair up and returned to the main bedroom. Christian was sat on the bed, his head in his hands, appearing deep in thought. He jumped slightly when I re-entered the room. "You need to be more on your toes than that if you ever want to be as good as me." My heart wasn't in my teasing though and Christian didn't even acknowledge my comment.

"What are we going to do?" He asked instead. "I was so convinced that it would just be a one-off thing. But we would have done it again." He sighed. "I definitely would have done it again."

I wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to take the seat next to him on the bed, but I did anyway. "I don't know." Was all the help I could offer him. "I'm going to get my own bedding and make the floor more comfortable so that I definitely don't end up in your bed again. I mean, it's only when we get really close that it happens. It'll be fine." I tried to convince both of us.

He nodded. "I guess." He admitted, reluctantly. Then the scowl completely took over his face and he stood up, beginning to pace the room in agitation. I left him to it until he eventually snapped and punched the wall he was facing. "I can't believe it!" He exclaimed. "I can't believe I've been so stupid. Why would I ever do this to Liss?"

I felt the tears pricking at my eyes, though I refused to let them fall. It was completely true. It was a ridiculous situation and I still wasn't sure how it had even happened. My best friend, the person I was bound to for life and I'd slept with the person she was so madly in love with. Someone I didn't even particularly care about: it wasn't some romantic gesture which people would fawn over, it was pure unadulterated lust, no romance, just sex. And we'd both given into the moment, like complete idiots.

"We can get past this." I decided, feeling my voice wobble slightly as I tried to believe what I was saying. "You can forget. We both know it didn't mean anything. All we have to do is not tell Lissa. She doesn't ever have to know. We might feel guilty now, but it'll be history soon enough, like it never even happened."

It wasn't true of course. And I was sure Christian knew it, though I was only hoping to soothing right now, not in the long term. We'd never forget this. It wasn't something that could just be forgotten, I'd probably never be able to have the same easy going friendship that I had with Lissa any more, I'd be stuck with this guilt, and I totally deserved it.

Christian glanced up at me, though his face was sceptical, and finally stood up. "We both know that's not true." He confirmed my own thoughts. "But I'm willing to hope that's the case if you are."

I nodded seriously. Maybe if we willed it enough, it'd come true. "Let's go to practice." I said, seeing as we were already running late. "I think we should just do some lifting and running today." Although it was meant to be a bit of a joke, we both deflated a little bit at the truth of what I was saying.


	5. Chapter 5

_Yay, another chapter! I've actually been writing one a day, this is the most into writing I've been in a long time! I'm still writing my original stories for Wattpad, but fanfiction has really inspired me again! Thanks a lot for the reviews and follows, my reads have been going up everyday! :D_

* * *

_Chapter Five_

Only, when we got to the gym, an unexpected face was waiting for us. Well, two faces. I almost blanched when I saw Eddie and Liss sat on one of the spare sparring mats waiting for us to arrive.

"I thought you started earlier than this normally." She commented innocently, standing up to greet us and moving to give Christian a delicate kiss on the lips. The though popped into my head as to whether Christian and Liss ever had such passionate sex and Christian and I had: I couldn't imagine Liss being as rough as we had been. Then I shook myself out of it. What was I thinking?

"We do." I replied with a chuckle, forcing normality into my expression and tone. "Well, we're supposed to, but I always oversleep."

Liss grinned, I could tell she wasn't surprised by that at all.

"I don't know what you're expecting to see, though." Christian joked. "All I ever do is run."

Lissa's obvious disappointment showed on her face and she pouted at him. "But I want to see you fight."

It was clear that we were going to end up sparring by the end of the session, but for now I was going to stick to my regime, and that meant Christian would be running. "He really does have to run first, though." I told Liss with a small smile. Then I gestured to the track. I normally ran with Christian, because otherwise it meant being sat around by myself with nothing to do. Today I ran with him because I didn't feel like sitting with Lissa and listening to her talk about Christian.

When on the track, Christian and I didn't speak – we never did. Christian didn't speak because he always pushed himself to the extreme on the track and so had no breathing spare for talking. I didn't speak because Christian couldn't answer me.

When back in the gym, Lissa beamed with excitement and tapped her feet up and down in anticipation. I could feel through the bond that she was looking forward to seeing Christian fight. One, because she was impressed that he was one of few Moroi who was actually learning to do anything like it, and second, because she thought he'd probably look incredibly sexy when in combat. I sighed, but couldn't disagree. Being in combat was what had first triggered our attraction.

Christian and I set up on the mats and began to circle each other. It wasn't long before I completely forgot that we had an audience, my focus was completely dedicated to Christian as I watched him prepare to strike at me. He was too slow, though, and I blocked him easily, returning fire with a snappy punch to his right shoulder. He flinched, but kept his ground and continued to circle me.

He looked like he was concentrating even harder than normal and I knew he wanted to impress Lissa with what he'd learnt. Because, to be honest, he had picked up my fighting techniques extremely quickly and had practically perfected some of them.

The second he broke eye contact with me, I darted forward, but he had baited my and blocked my fist easily, grabbing and twisting it and trying to floor me. I struggled against him, but he'd put my arm in a lock that it was almost impossible for me to break free from. Eventually, he managed to drag me to the floor and quickly straddle me, bringing and imaginary stake down and into my chest.

I couldn't help but grin. As much as I had wanted to humiliate Christian a bit in front of Lissa, what he'd just pulled off really was quite impressive. He was grinning himself, but it faded slightly as he locked eyes with me. My eyes widened as I realised his thought process and heat filled me, though I willed it to not warm my cheeks at all. His small smirk intensified as he decided how to further play on my reactions, but was interrupted by Lissa clapping incessantly and rushing up to Christian, giving him her hand to stand up.

"That was amazing!" She exclaimed, giving him a rather long kiss on the lips. I tried not to look away as guilt coursed through me. "I can't believe how good you are." Then she turned to me. "You really must be the best teacher."

I laughed. "Just as long as you know I only let him win so you'd be impressed." I teased her, though Christian smirked, knowing that he'd won fair and square.

Lissa chuckled. "Of course you did." She replied, he mood happier than I'd seen in a long time. "That was so exciting!" She continued to chatter with Christian, whilst I hung behind and walked with Eddie.

"You really must be a pretty good teacher." Eddie acknowledge when we were out of earshot. "I can't believe he pulled that off so well."

I laughed. "I think it's more that he's fast learner, though I'll never admit that to anyone else." I responded with a grin. "It's nice to train someone like that, though." I told him, releasing my hair from the tight ponytail it had been in. "Since Dimitri's not here any more." I just about managed not to stumble of his name. "It means I still get to train in the morning, it's a good habit to be in."

Eddie nodded. "I'm really sorry about getting Liss, by the way." He scratched the back of his head a bit guiltily. "I asked Alberta if we could swap but she said the decision was final."

I waved him off. "It's okay, honestly." I assured him. "It really does make more sense, really." I conceded. "Since I'm training him and stuff."

"I suppose."

We parted ways when Christian and Lissa did and I gave him a small smile before jogging so that I could actually walk beside Christian.

"I did pretty well, huh?" He inquired with such a smug smirk I almost wanted to punch him. "I saw how impressed you looked, even if you're not willing to admit it."

So that was what he'd seen in my face that had made his look become that much more intense. "Maybe." I muttered with a grimace.

Christian didn't let up, though. "Wow, I'm just such a good student. I bet you never thought you'd get so lucky."

"I think you'll find that's me being a good teacher." I contradicted him with a small chuckle. "Don't go giving yourself too much praise."

We shared a smug smile just as we reached his lesson and I took up my position against the back wall. I was more than surprised when Kirova walked through the door, though. My eyes widened slightly and I straightened by back ever further, if that was possible. Christian and I shared a small look before he returned his attention to the headmistress, who was now stood at the front and ready to address the class.

"As I'm sure you're away, it is St. Vladimir's anniversary next month." The puzzled looks around the class confirmed that no one had any idea when the school had been opened. "As the 300th year that the school has been open, we are hosting a formal evening. A variety of royal Moroi who have attended the Academy have been invited." She directed this at the Moroi. "Novices, you will be relieved of your field experience duties for the evening, but they return as soon as the ball is over." She explained, before strutting from the room. It was obvious she was just going around all the classes.

Excited chatter immediately broke out around the room, though I was forced to remain silent as I watched the teacher try desperately to calm everyone down. I smiled to myself. Although I wasn't particularly keen on the Moroi balls, if the novices were allowed to go then I figured it would be more bearable – I wouldn't be the only dhampir there this time. And although Christian himself wasn't likely to be invited to any of the after parties, Lissa would, and I'd be able to convince her to convince Christian so that I could go.

Christian met my eyes across the room, but instead of either a small smirk or a grimace, he looked incredibly guilty. I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously and he sighed before looking away. I wondered what he was going to tell me. Probably that he wasn't going to the ball and so I had to not go either. I scowled.

At the end of the lesson, I rushed to Christian's table. "What are you looking so guilty about?" I immediately demanded, keeping my voice down so that people wouldn't hear me.

He scratched the back of his head awkward. "Aunt Tasha is coming to the Academy." He admitted, making all colour drain from my face. Of course. Now I understood his guilt completely. "I got the letter this morning. Sorry."

I just about managed to shrug him off. "It's not your fault." I assured him. "And it's not a big deal, I guess." I forced myself to say. "I mean, it wasn't ever going to be that I never saw him again, was it? I just didn't expect it to be this soon. I thought maybe I'd have moved on a bit before I had to face him again."

Christian looked as though he was on the brink of giving me a hug, but he didn't reach out for me. "You probably won't even have to see him that much. I don't think they're staying that long." He tried to make me feel better.

I nodded. "It'll be fine." I didn't really feel like talking about it any more, though, really, he was probably right. Except for when Christian wanted to visit his Aunt, there wasn't any reason I should see Dimitri at all. There certainly wasn't any reason why I should have to see him alone.

I frowned. I wanted to see him alone, though. I still wanted to kiss him and make up for the month that I hadn't seen him for. And, after doing the dirty with Christian and seeing how good it was, I longed to try it with Dimitri, to see how his power translated into sex.

I hung my head as I followed Christian out of the classroom to go and find Lissa. I hoped that Lissa would have enough excitement about the ball to cheer me up again. I checked the bond and realised that we were going in the wrong direction. Liss had decided to go and practice her magic with Adrian during lunch today. I directed Christian in the right direction.

When we entered the room, Adrian was touching a plant, trying desperately to make it grow a bit. Christian smirked as nothing happened. Adrian grimaced as we took a seat on the sofa and went to take a swig from a bottle he had on the table. Lissa was beaming, though, at our presence. "Did you hear about the ball?" She asked me, grinning.

I laughed. "Yeah, it's going to be so much fun. Better than the last one, I hope." I cringed at the memory of the formal dinner I'd attended at the ski resort.

Lissa tried not to chuckle. "Of course it will! Is your Aunt coming?" She checked with Christian, oblivious to Adrian's sudden attention on Christian and the slight fading of my smile.

"Yeah, she's getting here a few days before the ball." He admitted, finally allowed to be excited about getting to see his Aunt again without feeling guilty about my situation.

Adrian raised a subtle eyebrow at me and I managed to shake my head slightly to inform him that I didn't want to talk about it. There wasn't anything that he could really say.

Christian and Lissa left the main room to go and make a drink in Adrian's kitchenette – his apartment was significantly bigger than any of the students. Adrian immediately took the seat that Christian had just left and sent me an anxious glance. "You okay?" He checked.

"Yeah." I assured him. "I'm kind of nervous, but I'm also kind of excited." I finally admitted. "I didn't think I'd get to see him again this soon. I mean," I paused, to think about my wording carefully, "I thought that I'd have managed to move on a bit before I saw Dimitri again. But, I haven't, at all, and I don't think he will have either."

Adrian looked slightly disappointed. "I was going to suggest you could pretend you were going out with me so he'd leave you alone, but I guess that's not what you had in mind." He chuckled whilst I shook my head.

"Sorry." I teased back. "I think I'm being pretty optimistic, though." I confessed. "We probably won't even see each other alone the whole time he's here."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way." Adrian assured me. "I don't think you two would be able to stay away from each other even if you were trying."

I smiled at his reassurance, though I knew my hopes were stupid anyway. It would probably just make it harder for me to get over him in the long run.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I love it when I already know exactly how a story is going to go! And I've just broken up for the Christmas holidays, so there should be lots of updates! Thanks for the reviews guys! :D**  
_

* * *

_Chapter Six_

A week passed without incident, thankfully. I became slightly less guilt-ridden when I was around Lissa and my relationship with Christian went back to endless banter and annoyance.

I was currently walking to culinary science with Christian. Neither of us were talking, I was busy scanning the area and making sure that no 'Strigoi' were about. My eyes widened when I actually spotted one of the guardians, dressed all in black, walking towards Christian.

"Christian!" I shouted at him to move out of the way as I dove forwards and caught the arm which was ready to grab him.

My opponent was Yuri, a relatively tall and heavy male guardian, someone I had never fought before. We rounded on each other and I feinted as he lunged, keeping light on my toes and gauging my opponent. He had a similar build to Dimitri, but I had no idea if their fighting styles were similar.

Narrowing my eyes, I dealt a swift punch to the stomach, hoping to catch him off guard, but he didn't even flinch. Whilst I was recovering and moving back into position, his leg swept out in a roundhouse kick, aimed straight for me side. I rolled beneath is and jumped back up, immediately leaping towards him and slamming a kick into the side of his leg.

Yuri stumbled slightly, which was the best opening I was going to get. Without hesitation, I kicked out at his other leg and punched his shoulder, causing him to fall to the floor, where I quickly straddled and pulled my practice stake down over his chest.

I was breathing heavily, but beamed at Yuri, who was looking impressed from underneath me. Christian's hand appeared in front of me and I took it, allowing him to pull me up. "I don't think I've ever really watched you fight before." He commented. "It's not the same when you're fighting me." He chuckled. "Impressive, though."

"Impressive indeed." Celeste agreed from where she had just marked down my score. "Perfect execution Rose, well done." She smiled at me before Yuri joined her and nodded at me, before they left.

"Rose, can I ask you something?" Christian held my arm to stop me from entering the dinner hall, which was where we'd been heading.

"Sure." I frowned as to where this was going to be going.

Instead of saying anything, Christian led me back the way we had come until he came across a bench and sat down on it heavily.

"Do you think I'm allowed to be jealous of Adrian?" He blurted out, fixing me with a serious look. "I mean, isn't that insanely hypocritical?"

I sighed. "I don't think you can help whether you're jealous or not." I told him seriously. "I mean, it's not exactly a voluntary emotion. I'm still jealous of Tasha, if that helps."

Christian let out a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure that the only reason I'm so jealous is because of what we did, though." He admitted with a clenched fist. "It's like, now I known how easy it is, why wouldn't she just do it?"

What was I supposed to say to that? "Christian, Lissa isn't going to cheat on you." I promised him, though I supposed he was right, he wouldn't really be allowed to complain even if she did. "I'm bonded with her, remember?" I pointed out. "I'd know, and she doesn't have any romantic feelings towards Adrian."

"I don't have any romantic feelings towards you!" He exclaimed, getting up from the bench and beginning to pace.

"I know but, she doesn't even find him attractive, she's just passionate about the magic." I told him truthfully. "And you know that's not the same as being up close and sweaty like training is."

He sighed, though didn't look convinced. "I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I know it's my own fault, too. I feel like such an idiot. Eurgh!" He threw his hands up and looked very much like he wanted to punch something.

"Calm down, Christian." I figured being stern and straightforward was the best way to go. "You have absolutely no need to be jealous. It's never even crossed Liss's mind that she might want to sleep with Adrian. And besides, Adrian definitely doesn't want Lissa, he likes me." I reminded him. "And I know how his jokes and stuff look, but he really does like me." I glanced down in shame.

Christian looked sceptical. "How do you know he's not just messing with you? Pretending to care so that you'll sleep with him?"

I shrugged. "It's just the way he is." I scratched the back of my head gently. "He knows about Dimitri." I admitted. "And he dream walked me a couple of nights ago and saw the marks on me. He, just, I don't know. I can tell, you know? It's obvious."

Christian, to my surprise, actually looked like he believed me. "You told him about Dimitri?" He inquired. "I thought I was special." He gave me a childish pout, clearly having calmed down a bit.

I chuckled. "You're still the first person I actually told, so you're allowed to feel special." I teased. "Adrian guessed, because of the aura thing, and the way we were around each other."

"Let's go and find Liss." Christian decided after a few minutes of silence as he took in the new information. "Plus I'm starving." He commented, standing up and waiting for me to follow him.

Liss, Adrian and Eddie were sat eating together when we finally joined them and they all smiled at us. "Rose," Lissa dragged my name out with a sickly sweet smile on her face.

I laughed. "What do you want Liss?"

"I want to spend some time with Christian." She pouted. "I haven't really been able to see him since this field experience started." It was true, since we'd had to basically spend all our time together, Christian hadn't been alone with her since it started. "Do you mind if he sneaks out tonight so I can see him?" She checked, already knowing that I was going to say yes.

I rolled my eyes at her. "He'd better not get caught, otherwise it'll probably be me who gets into trouble for letting him out of my sight." I teased, letting her know it was fine me. Though the knot of guilt in my stomach became more pronounced the more I thought about it. Lissa was so excited to see Christian, to sleep with Christian, when she had no idea what he'd actually been up to. I refrained from handing my head and avoiding her eyes.

* * *

It was like a repeat of our gym encounter. Christian's hands were all over me and I was powerless to stop him – I didn't want to stop him. It was less rough this time, more gentle as he kissed a heated trail from my collar bone to my ear. I shivered in his grasp and Christian smirked when he reached my ear. "Enjoying that?" He taunted as I gasped.

"Yes." The word left my mouth, only it wasn't in my voice. That was when I finally noticed the other odd things about the situation. Trying not to get too consumed by Christian's hands all over, me, I realised that I was in the church's attic, I spotted the flowing blonde hair which was hanging over my shoulder.

Beginning to panic as Christian increased the intensity of his kiss, I tried to block Lissa out and return to my own head. But it was so hard as what Lissa was feeling clashed with my own emotions and I remembered what happened in the gym. Sex with Christian was so good that I struggled not to get lost in the heat flowing through me, even though it wasn't actually happening to me.

In the end, I couldn't bare the feeling of mine and Lissa's emotions blending together, which was what forced me out. Whilst I could appreciate the lust in her, Lissa was more focused on the pure love that she felt towards Christian. That wasn't what I'd wanted when sleeping with Christian, and I didn't want it now. That was the kind of sex I was supposed to have with Dimitri and that was what finally allowed me to break free from Lissa's head.

When I was fully awake, I buried my head in my hands. Though I was now completely aware of where I was and what was happening, Lissa's feelings still flowed through the bond to me and I scowled, removing myself from the bedding and beginning to pace. I wanted to scream and kick something, but I didn't think Christian would appreciate me ruining his room, so I decided I'd just go outside.

I slipped on his warm looking slippers and threw on a hoody over my tank top and short shorts. Although the sun was beating down on St. Vladimir's, the wind was bitingly cold. I pulled the hoody closer around me, but was grateful for the harsh temperatures, it was enough to keep me distracted from Liss's joy.

Any guardians would send me back inside if they caught me outside at this time, so I wandered around trying to remember if there was anywhere that wasn't particularly patrolled. In the end, I decided to sit on a bench in the sun, where I was pretty sure no one would see me.

Now that I was completely safe in my own head, I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested it on them. I wondered if Dimitri coming back would be as good as I was hoping; no doubt it would be a bitter disappointment.

I considered whether I had to feel guilty about sleeping with Christian in terms of my relationship with Dimitri. I didn't have a relationship with Dimitri any more, there was no reason I should have to feel like I'd cheated on him, only I did, a bit. It was like Adrian had said, that I must have moved on quickly.

A small tear slipped down my cheek, but I wiped it away quickly. I wasn't going to let myself cry. Instead, I tried to focus on the cold and not think, but just wait until I knew it would definitely be safe to return to Christian's room and go to sleep.

"Rose?" I jumped up, ready to face one of the guardians. I had been deep in thought and so had no idea how long I'd been out here. The sun was still glaring down on me and I squinted to see Christian walking towards me. I didn't bother to hide my annoyance and sat back down on the bench. The time I'd spent thinking hadn't improved my mood at all.

"What?" I asked him, not really surprised when he took the seat the next to me.

"You had a bad dream?" He inquired, glancing at me guiltily. He obviously thought that him leaving me on the room by myself had meant I'd had another nightmare.

I laughed bitterly. "I guess you could call it that."

Christian glanced at me warily. "Can you just tell me what happened, instead of leaving me to guess?"

I turned away from him and rested by head back on my knees. "I was pulled into Lissa's head, well, I'm sure you can guess when."

Though I couldn't see Christian's face from where I was sitting, I could imagine the shock that was covering it. "Oh," his voice was quiet, "I had no idea it did that."

"Me neither." I admitted. "I think it was because I was asleep. My defences were completely down." I explained, continuing to stare at a patch of grass.

Christian rested a gentle hand on my shoulder. I glanced at him sideways and he gave me a small smile. "Rose, you're freezing. Can we go inside and talk about it?" He moved his hand from my shoulder to my cheek and flinched at the temperature.

I scowled at him. "You know, it's not even because I felt really guilty for fucking you." I exclaimed, standing up and pacing on the cold ground in front of him. "It was because I don't want to have to watch in on your perfect little relationship when I have nothing. When Dimitri left and I'm stuck feeling Lissa's love for you whilst I can't have anything." I threw my hands up. "And I don't even care how much of a spoilt bitch I sound, it's sucks, okay?" I refused to let any tears fall. "I hate it. I hate this stupid system. It's not _fair_."

Christian appeared like he wanted to be anywhere other than having to listen to what I was saying, but he didn't move. "I know, Rose." He replied, running a hand through his hair. "And you know that our relationship is far from perfect."

"That's not what Lissa thinks." I complained. "As far as Lissa's concerned, everything's just great. I don't even have that. I can't even pretend that anything is even slightly good. I'm supposed to be her best friend, but it's so hard to know that."

Christian stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. "It'll get better, Rose, I promise." He tried to assure me. "You and Dimitri might not work out, but you're only seventeen. It's not the end of the world." He was whispering it soothingly into my ear now. "Just like Liss and I probably won't end up working out. It's just how it is."

I finally relaxed a bit and leaned into the hug, burying my face into Christian's shoulder. "Okay." I mumbled. He probably couldn't even hear it. "It just doesn't feel much like I'm seventeen."

"I know." He agreed. "Me neither. Now, come on. You're absolutely freezing."

He was right and I was loathed to move away from the warmth he provided, but I pulled away and nodded, turning back towards the dormitories. "I borrowed your slippers. They looked warm." I informed him, gesturing to my feet and smirking slightly when I was rewarded with a disgruntled look.

"Thanks." He grimaced, starting walking back towards his room.

We slipped past the guardian who was on duty easily since he was asleep and returned to Christian's room. As soon as we were in his room he pointed at his bed. "Get in." He ordered seriously. "If you get hypothermia then I'm going to be defenceless and you're going to fail."

I looked at him sceptically. "Do you really think this is a good idea?" I asked walking towards my own bedding.

"Only until you've warmed up." He assured me. "Then you can feel free to get back onto the floor. Now get in, I'm going to make you some tea."

As much as I knew it probably really wasn't the right thing to do, I scrambled into Christian's bed and wrapped myself up in the cold covers.

I'd been awake so long that in the comfort of finally lying down, I fell asleep before Christian had even returned with my drink.


	7. Chapter 7

**_I'm even writing ahead of schedule! :O It starts getting really interesting from the next chapter - or I think so anyway ;) Thanks for the reviews, they really mean a lot! _**

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_Chapter Seven_

I was surrounded by warmth when I woke up and pulled the covers closer to savour the comfort. After having slept on the floor for a while now, sleeping in Christian's bed was like heaven. I felt immediately guilty when I peered over the edge and saw him holed up in my bedding on the floor, though.

I decided it would be cruel to wake him up since he probably hadn't had a very good sleep and leaned across the other side of the bed to switch the alarm off. I stayed facing the other way and closed my eyes, trying to stay in a positive frame of mind. I could just forget about what had happened last night easily enough; I'd let out my frustrations and I knew Christian wouldn't mention them again.

Whilst these thoughts flitted through my mind, I heard movement from the floor. I was too comfy to bother moving, but my eyes widened when I felt the bed dip and Christian's arms wrap around me from behind.

I wasn't sure if he was just doing this unconsciously and in a somewhat asleep state, or whether it was on purpose because he was _freezing_. Guilt flooded me even more and I laced my fingers through his to try and warm up his hands quicker.

He jerked slightly and obviously hadn't known I was awake. After a few seconds he relaxed again though and snuggled closer into my back, letting his head rest just behind my ear. "Thanks." His lips brushed against my skin, but I ignored the tingles and didn't reply, deciding instead to just savour the comfort of Christian's presence, refusing to let the guilt worm its way in.

After a while, Christian seemed to realise that it was getting later than when we normally got up. "Shouldn't we be training?" He inquired.

"Yeah." I admitted. "I turned the alarm off because I felt bad that I'd made you sleep on the floor."

He chuckled, but began to unravel his arms from my stomach. "Come on." He told me when he was no longer touching me. "Let's go."

I flipped over so that I was facing him and pouted. "But I'm so comfy." I complained. He was still laying down and so this put our faces surprisingly close – closer than I had anticipated – though we still weren't touching.

He smirked at me, though I could see the glint in his eyes as they flickered to my lips and then back to my eyes. "I'm never going to be any good if you keep ditching training."

I laughed, causing a loose piece of hair to fall into my face. I moved my arm to rearrange it, but Christian had beaten me to it, tucking it gently behind me ear. I swallowed as my eyes met his and saw the hunger in them.

Neither of us moved for a few seconds, but eventually, Christian dropped his hand and I sat up. "Come on then." I finally spoke, trying to keep a steady voice. There was no point in addressing what had just happened. We'd both restrained ourselves and that was almost a victory.

Christian didn't speak but instead walked around the room to retrieve the clothes he normally wore for training. I disappeared into the bathroom, a small smile on my face. I supposed this meant that we'd moved past the weird faze we'd had, and now it would be easier.

The guilt was still there, of course, but at least now I knew that Christian and I wouldn't do anything untoward again, and that was small weight lifted from my shoulders.

* * *

"You have to wear a tux Christian!" Lissa was complaining when I returned to our table after getting food. "You'd look so handsome."

Christian looked like he'd had enough of the conversation and was looking at her sceptically. "There's no way I'm wearing a tuxedo Liss." He replied seriously. "I'm just going to stick to a shirt and tie."

Lissa was pouting. "Oh, come on." She whined, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "For me?"

He was unfazed by her attempts. "No." He laughed. "It's not going to happen."

Lissa turned to Adrian, who was watching the exchange with some amusement, probably studying their auras. "You'll be wearing a proper suit, won't you Adrian?" Liss demanded. I could tell she was really hoping that he'd say yes through the bond.

Adrian nodded. "Of course, but that's because I'll take every excuse I have to dress up." He explained, smirking at me, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

Christian's face had darkened slightly when she'd decided to compare him to Adrian and he scowled. "I'm not wearing a suit, Liss." He repeated the statement, a bit more forcefully this time. "I might not go at all, it's not exactly my kind of thing, is it?"

Liss's eyes widened and she looked at him in shock. "But you've been so enthusiastic." She complained. "I thought you were finally excited about doing some of the royal stuff."

I watched their argument warily. I didn't want to end up being somehow caught in the middle of it. "I'm only excited because my Aunt is coming." He told her, obviously surprised that she hadn't worked it out. "Why would I be interested in going to these events where people just shun me? I'd rather sit and read and do something I enjoy."

Both anger and sadness filled Lissa at his words. "But when we go to court, you'd still come with me, right?" She asked, almost scared of the answer she was going to get.

"Of course." Christian responded immediately. "I just wouldn't enjoy it."

He was being honest and I had to applaud him. The only reason I was looking forward to this particular event was because the novices were going to be here too, so it was basically just like a school dance and I wouldn't feel any of the pressure. It wasn't the same for Christian, though, he always felt like he was being judged: which he probably was.

Christian scowled at the clock. "I have to go to lesson." This was the slot when Liss practised her magic with Adrian and so they'd probably remain it the cafeteria for a bit longer. He looked at me expectantly. "Coming?"

He knew I had no choice but I could also feel that Lissa very much wanted to talk to me. I glanced at Christian helplessly and he sighed. "Just don't be long." He grimaced, walking towards the door, where he'd wait for me.

Lissa fixed me with a dejected look. "What am I suppose to do? I don't want to make Christian do things that he really doesn't want to, but I don't want to do them alone either."

I sighed and pondered what would be the best thing to say that might make her feel better. "He's just being petty." I tried to assure her. "It's not like these royal events are going to be a massive part of your life, and certainly not in the near future. You still have college to go through." I reminded her. "And when you get to court you'll make other royal friends who do want to go to them with you."

Liss looked like she wanted to believe me really badly. "You know that's how it'll be." Adrian poked his head in. I'd almost forgotten that he'd been there. Then he chuckled. "Besides, you have me, should I be offended?"

She gave him a small smile. "I suppose." The comment was directed at me. "I just wish he was more interested in the things that I have to be interested in."

"It's just hard for him, you know how people are. It's different for you. Everybody loves you."

She sighed. "I know." She admitted. "It doesn't matter anyway. We'll have a good time even if Christian doesn't come." She beamed at me. "And Eddie's having an after party."

I glanced at him in surprise. That didn't sound like something the new, more serious, Eddie would be keen on. He chuckled, though. "I was convinced." He revealed. "Since I have to stay in Liss's room, mine is free. I thought we may as well make the most of being off duty, and I don't fancy going to one of the prissy royal parties with Jesse."

I had to agree and I was becoming increasingly more excited for the ball, especially since now there was a guaranteed after party. "That's awesome." The three of us shared a grin. "Anyway, I have to go and get Christian, he's probably getting annoyed." I told Liss, glancing to where he was still stood near the doorway. "See you later."

Christian fixed me with a scowl when I reached him. "Took you long enough." He muttered, setting off towards his lesson.

"We were less than five minutes." I replied with a chuckle. I gave him a gentle nudge in the side. "It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal." He countered immediately. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life hanging around with stuck up people who judge me."

I bit my lip as I considered what to say to that, because the truth was, if him and Lissa did stay together, that it _would _be a big part of his life that he'd have to deal with. "It's not even worth worrying about now." I tried to convince him without it being obvious that I was floundering. "You still have three or four years of college, and this year isn't even over yet."

The grimace remained on Christian's face, though. "She'll probably be queen someday. There's no avoiding that."

"Christian." I ran a hand through my hair and he shot me a pointed look. He knew he was right. "You don't know that. You can't possibly know how it's going to be until it happens. At least give it a chance. A lot can happen in four years anyway. And it's not like Lissa would become queen as soon as she graduated."

"I know." He conceded. "It's just something that'd get gradually worse. The older she gets the more people will want to see her at court. She's the last Dragomir and I'm 'not worthy'," he pulled a face. "It's not easy."

I honestly pitied Christian's situation. It must be hard enough losing both parents in the first place, but to then have it held against you forever, especially when the person you love is surrounded by people who'd judge you. "It'll get easier."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know it won't." I retaliated.

All he did was shake his head. "I hope you're right."

I did, too. "It'll be fine." I assured him. "And besides, you're only annoyed because of this one ball now, and it's hardly going to be like the ones at court. This one should be fun." I told him. "I'll be there." I winked shamelessly at him and was finally rewarded with a laugh.

"Jeez, don't make it sound too appealing." He replied, though his tone was lighter and he was finally wearing his classic smirk. "Thanks, though." He didn't want or need to say anything else.

"Do you know how long Tasha is staying for yet?" I inquired, wanting to move the topic away from Lissa now he had cheered up a bit.

"Two weeks, I think." He responded, glancing at me sideways to gauge my reaction.

I wasn't entirely sure what my reaction was. That meant they were staying more than most of the other royals who were coming probably were. It also was plenty of time for Dimitri and I to be around each other. It would probably be even harder when he left again, if I got used to him being around. "That's pretty cool."

Christian's mask slipped for a minute and he properly grinned. "Yeah." He agreed, his eyes lit up with excitement. "I hardly ever get to see her this close together. I'm really looking forward to it."

I couldn't help but smile back at him. Even if I ended up having a miserable time, at least everyone else would be happy, and that had to count for something.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Yay, the chapter I've been waiting for! The drama gets a bit heavier in the next few chapters! I've lost some of my reviewers :( But thanks to the new ones! And the longest chapter yet!_**

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_Chapter Eight_

The next few weeks passed in a flash. I guarded Christian successfully from a few more "Strigoi" attacks and was told I'd received good marks. Christian and Lissa had a few more spats about the ball, but we all knew that Christian would go.

As for Christian and I, we had no more incidents. There were moments when it was obvious that something was on the verge of happening, but it never did. The guilt had begun to wane by now and I didn't feel like I couldn't look Liss in the eyes anymore. Though it still made me cringe a bit to see her and Christian together, I was beginning to realise that it could be a thing of the past.

We were currently walking towards Tasha's cabin. They had arrived in the early hours of the morning and so this was the first opportunity we'd had to visit them. Christian and Lissa walked ahead whilst I hung back with Eddie.

Butterflies were beginning to gather in my stomach and I actually thought I might throw up the closer I got to the cabin. I hadn't seen Dimitri for two months now, I wondered if he'd changed. I wondered if I'd changed.

Christian knocked but didn't wait for a response before he opened the door and was engulfed in a hug from his Aunt.

She hugged us all in turn and gestured for us to sit down. I took a seat next to Christian, Liss was on the other side of him and Eddie beside me. We were in an almost circle with enough room for Tasha to join us once she'd finished making her drink.

I barely noticed all of this though as my attention was completely consumed by the man sat in the corner.

Dimitri had tried to act like he wasn't paying us any attention as he kept his eyes glued to the Western in his hands, but I knew him better than that. I felt sure that he'd watched the exchange between us all and Tasha and that he was dying to look up and meet my eyes.

Eventually, he did. As soon as our eyes locked, I forgot about the other people in the room. I bit the inside of the cheek to stop myself doing anything stupid, but the look Dimitri was giving me was so intense that I almost did. It was obvious he'd missed me just as much as I'd missed him and I was consumed by the way his hair framed his face perfectly and the way his appearance was even better than I could have possibly imagined it.

Christian's slight punch in the leg was what broke the spell and I turned away from Dimitri to glare at him. He was giving me a pointed look though and I knew what he was getting at. I was being far too obvious and Tasha had just joined the circle.

"So, how have you all been?" I knew this was directed more at Lissa and I since she kept in touch with Christian regularly and didn't really know Eddie that well.

I left it to Lissa to speak so that I could keep sneaking glances at Dimitri and try not to let myself become bitter towards Tasha the more I was reminded of the situation. I wondered momentarily whether Dimitri was sleeping in the cabin with Tasha. There was only one bed and I began to glare at it unconsciously.

"I'm afraid I've only got one gift this time." She chuckled, bringing my attention back to what was being said.

I assumed it was for Lissa and smiled when I saw her feelings light up through the bond: she wanted to be a part of Christian's family, since her own was so lacking.

My eyes widened when Tasha passed me a neatly wrapped parcel. I glanced at Tasha and she nodded, gesturing for me to open it.

I tried to ignore Lissa's disappointment as I gasped at the dress which was inside. Holding it up, I realised immediately that it was for me to where to the ball. It was a dark blue midi dress made from stretchy material that I knew would cling everywhere. The top was covered in cream lace and I fingered it longingly. It was beautiful.

"Thank you." I breathed, meeting her eyes with a beaming smile.

She chuckled. "You'll have to thank Christian." She told me, causing me to fix him with a puzzled glance. "It was his idea and he paid for it, I was just the one to pick it."

Christian was smirking at me, but I could see the genuine happiness behind his expression: he was glad I liked it so much. "I figured you deserved some kind of reward for teaching me to be so bad-ass." He teased. "Besides, I was hoping you might train in it, then I'd be guaranteed to win."

I surprised even myself a little bit by leaning forwards and giving him a quick hug. "Thank you." I beamed at him, returning my attention to the beautiful garment in my hand. I had been planning to wear the dress Tasha had bought for me the last time she was here, but this new dress was even prettier and I couldn't wait to show it off.

"So, am I going to get to see you fight?" Tasha teased her nephew.

Lissa, despite her shock at the present Christian had bought for me and the disappointment that she'd not gotten anything, smiled as she saw her chance to enter the conversation. "You should definitely watch them train." She told Tasha. "Christian beat Rose when I watched." She was insanely proud of him, it almost made me sad. That's how proud Dimitri was of me.

"You must have been slacking." Dimitri joked, speaking for the first time. His voice wrapped around me and I'd almost forgotten how sexy his accent was.

"I told you I only let him win." I complained after I'd recovered from hearing him speak, though they all knew I was lying. "Either that or I'm just a really good teacher." I compromised. "Whichever you think is more fitting."

Everyone laughed and the conversation carried on, but I rarely joined in: it was mainly Christian and Tasha catching up. My attention remained focused on Dimitri and I knew that he was well aware of me too. I suddenly wished that I was sat closer to him, so that we could talk without interrupting their conversation. I was dying to hear what he had to say to me.

"I think we should probably be heading back to the Academy." I heard Christian say, which distracted me from my Dimitri thoughts for a few moments. "They'll be serving dinner soon and I'm starving."

We all nodded and my stomach made a noise at the mention of food.

"I'll come with you." Dimitri offered. "I have to go and speak to Alberta about where I'll be staying and my patrols."

I hoped my breath of relief wasn't obvious to everyone when I realised that he wasn't going to be staying with Tasha. It should have been obvious, really, but I couldn't help the thought nagging at me. I should have also realised that Dimitri would fit right back in with the school's security systems – they could make good use of him whilst he was here.

"Sure." Christian was eyeing me and I glared at him, not wanting to know what thoughts were whizzing through his head.

Lissa and Eddie broke off from us when they got near to the girl's dormitories – Lissa wanted to change before going to dinner, leaving Dimitri, Christian and I. We didn't really speak, until it came time for Dimitri to leave. He regarded me quickly, before turning to Christian. "Rose, can I speak to you for a moment?" He asked, though it was really up to Christian whether I was allowed to leave or not.

I glanced at him hopefully and I saw that he was holding back a laugh. "I'll go hide in my room so no one sees you're off duty." He gave me a smug look and a small wave before going into the block of rooms.

It was almost awkward when just Dimitri and I were left alone and I struggled to think of something to say. It felt like so long. "Let's walk." Dimitri suggested, setting off and expecting me to follow. I knew immediately that we were walking in the direction of the gym.

"How are you?" He asked after a few moments, glancing down at me and giving me a tender look.

"I'm okay." I replied hesitantly. I couldn't really go ahead and tell him how much I'd struggled since he left. It wasn't really fair. "How about you?"

"I'm fine."

We didn't speak again until we reached the gym and Dimitri began wandering around it, re-familiarising himself with his surroundings. "How's training Christian?" He inquired, pulling up a chair and sitting down to face me. I was leant on the wall and regarded him with my full attention.

Images of Christian and I getting hot and heavy flashed through me mind and my eyes flickered towards the store cupboard momentarily. "It's good." I finally replied. "He's pretty good." I admitted. "And I really don't think it's because I'm a great teacher." I teased slightly. "He's picked everything up really quickly."

"I might join you a couple of mornings." He offered, raising an eyebrow to check that it would be okay with me.

"Of course." I agreed, grinning in spite of myself. It might create some awkwardness, since Dimitri wasn't aware that Christian knew of the situation, and also because Dimitri was completely unaware of the situation between Christian and I. Shame coursed through me. Dimitri would be mortified by what I'd done.

"I've missed you." I blurted it out without thinking and immediately averted my eyes.

"I've missed you too Roza." My heart skipped a beat as my Russian name rolled off his tongue. Our eyes met and I felt my cheeks heating up in a rare blush.

Dimitri stood up from where he had been sat and I immediately flung myself at him in a tight hug. He returned it with a slight chuckle and we stood in our embrace for many minutes.

"I'm sorry, that I left." He whispered gently against my ear.

I shook my head against his chest. "It's okay, I understand." Which I did. "It's just hard." I admitted, pulling away slightly to look up at him and moving my hand against his cheek to reach behind his head and play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Dimitri raised a surprised eyebrow at me. "Brave." He stated, though the fire in his eyes told me he wasn't complaining and his own hand moved to tangle itself in my hair, which he loved so much.

I bit my lip as I considered my next words carefully. "Well," I began, maintaining eye contact. "You're not part of the Academy any more." I pointed out seriously. "I don't see, whilst you're here, why we can't see each other. In secret, of course." I hastily added. "But I want to make the most of you being here, since I won't see you often."

His response was to crush his lips to mine and I responded immediately, moving us backwards until my back hit the wall, hard. My hands were everywhere and I was powerless to stop them scraping down his back and pulling on his hair. Dimitri was equally as rough in his response, leaving nail marks in my hips and darting his hand underneath my t-shirt to caress my breasts.

Either it really had only been his job holding him back before and he was now completely open to making the most of this two weeks with me, or he had missed me so much that he couldn't bring himself to go slow like normal.

"_Roza._" My name slipped from his mouth in a breathy moan as I ground shamelessly against him. He began to move me towards the supply closet and elation filled my mind. I was finally going to experience sex with Dimitri. I wasn't nervous any more, I was ready.

Only, as soon as I realised what was happening, the images of Christian and I in that supply closet came rushing back to me. I gasped as Dimitri pushed his hand further South, just as I had done when Christian had done the same to me. He kissed my neck, but just as we reached the supply closet, I shook my head.

"I can't." I breathed out, causing him to subside in his assault, though he still nibbled on my ear softly. "I have to get back to Christian." I just about managed to not struggle over his name. "He'll be starving, and he can't really go out without me." I reminded him.

Dimitri pulled back and nodded, though his face was still torn between a mix of love and lust. "Okay." He kissed the top of my forehead gently.

I couldn't help but beam at him, though. "We can continue this later though, right?" I checked with him, tracing a circle on his chest with my finger and glancing up at him with heavy lidded eyes. "Let me know where you're staying as soon as you find out."

As soon as we had separated I felt the tears pricking at my eyes. I hadn't been able to sleep with Dimitri because of what I'd done with Christian. I was supposed to be making the most of the two weeks we'd got together, but instead I was being haunted by a mistake which hadn't even meant anything.

I scrubbed at my eyes to make sure that there were no tears there before I entered Christian's room. I didn't bother knocking and he was sat on his bed reading when I came in.

Christian glanced up at me but his face immediately fell. "What happened?"

I watched him warily. "What do you mean?"

He fixed me with a pointed look. "I'm not an idiot, Rose." He got off the bed and walked over to me, licking his thumb and wiping something off the side of my eye. I grimaced. I must have smudged my make-up when I'd rubbed my eyes. "Now, what happened?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, turning away from him and going to sit on the bed, where I wouldn't have to look at him. Christian, and what I done with him, was going to ruin this time I had with Dimitri.

I could tell that he was about to touch me and I flinched away from him. His skin never came into contact with mine and he didn't say anything.

We sat in silence for at least ten minutes. I knew that Christian was waiting until I was ready to tell him, but I didn't think I was ever going to be. It was so embarrassing to admit. Christian had been fine when he slept with Liss. Why was it just me who was having problems? I figured it was just the place. Being in the gym. We would have been doing the exact same thing. That had to make it different.

"Nothing bad actually happened." I finally told Christian. "We said we missed each other, I told him that there was no reason we couldn't be together for this two weeks and then we made out." I explained. "Only, I couldn't do it. We were going to have sex, but it was just, I kept thinking about it and I told him I had to come find you and then I left." I turned back to Christian and looked at him helplessly. "It was only because we were in the gym, right?" I pleaded with him to tell me it was. "This isn't going to stop me being with Dimitri, is it?"

He sat down and leant against the headboard before gathering me in his arms and letting me lean against him. "Of course it isn't." He soothed gently. "It's not a big deal. It's definitely just because of the place." He assured me. "And it was weird for me too." He informed me seriously. "Sleeping with Lissa for the first time again, I almost didn't do it." I glanced at his face to check that he was telling the truth, which it looked like he was. "But you can get past it."

I nodded dejectedly against his chest. "I said I'd see him tonight and that we'd carry on where we left off." I admitted. "It'll be different in his room." I decided. "It's not like I wasn't turned on. It was just because of the place." I repeated it like a mantra.

"Of course." He grasped hold of my chin and made me look at him to make sure my make-up was still okay. I hadn't cried in front of him, which I was grateful of. "Now come on, because we've been ages." He said seriously. "They might not even have any food left."

That was enough to spur me into moving and I heard my stomach growl, causing Christian to smirk. I just hoped he was right, because I desperately wanted to sleep with Dimitri tonight.

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_**I have a picture of Rose's dress on my profile if you wanted a better idea of what I picture it as! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**_This is one of my favourite chapters ;) There's also a picture of Rose's dress on my profile if anyone wanted a better idea of what I had in mind :) And thanks for the reviews! So many :D They make me so happy. Review please! :D_**

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_Chapter Nine_

Christian watched as I finished doing my make-up and fluffed my hair to make sure it was exactly how Dimitri liked it. He was pretending to read, but I had felt his eyes on me and I tried not to let it unnerve me. He was probably just finding it hard to concentrate with me bustling about.

"Okay, I'm going." I told Christian, checking my appearance quickly once more.

He nodded and surprised me by getting off the bed as I opened the door. I sent him an inquisitive look and he ran a hand through his hair quickly before grasping my arm. "Just," he sighed and glanced away before meeting my eyes again. "Just make sure you definitely want to do it." He finally got out, fixing me with a look I found it hard to look away from.

I thought he was going to kiss me for a moment. But he didn't, which I was grateful for.

"I won't." I promised, giving him another quick, almost confused look, before he dropped his hand and I shut the door behind me. I wondered briefly where that had come from, but decided not to over-think it, I was too excited to finally see Dimitri, where there was nothing that could distract me from the happiness of finally seeing him again.

Dimitri was staying in his old room and so it was easy for me to navigate there. I was stealthy enough to avoid any of the guardians. Dimitri wasn't expecting me – I hadn't specified when I'd wanted to 'continue' our earlier events and I hoped he wasn't asleep already.

When I reached his room, I paused, and then decided that I should knock. The door was probably locked anyway.

Dimitri answered the door shirtless, causing an immediate grin from me. Shock was evident in his face that I was here, but he quickly recovered and gestured me in, smiling in pleasant surprise.

"Hello." He returned to his bed whilst I kicked my shoes off and decided to join him in it. "I didn't think you'd manage to see me tonight."

I grinned. "Of course I can manage."

"Won't Christian realise that you're gone?" He checked.

I quickly decided whether to tell Dimitri that Christian knew or not. "Nah, he always sleeps right though." I told him seriously. "He was fast asleep when I left." I figured it was best to not tell Dimitri that Christian knew – it would lead to too many questions.

Dimitri simply nodded and I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't been nervous in the gym, but after what had happened, I wondered whether I'd be able to do it this time.

My thoughts were interrupted by Dimitri's insistent lips on mine and it was more than an automatic response to kiss him back. All doubts flew from my head as we manoeuvred so that I was straddling him. From this position, I could easily rake my hands down his chest and his hands found my hair without hesitation.

Heat crackled between us and I gasped when Dimitri's lips finally left mine and travelled south, paying attention to every piece of skin he came across. When he reached the hemline of my tank top, he pulled back slightly, only to lift it over my head and continue his assault.

When he reaches my exposed nipple I gasp and grind my hips against him subconsciously. This only encourages him more and soon I'm bucking helplessly against him. I think back to what Liss had felt when she was sleeping with Christian: it was how I felt now. There was the lust, of course, I wanted to Dimitri to fuck me more than anything right now, but there was also the love – like it could never be this good with anyone again.

With that realisation, I threw myself back into a kiss with full force, taking no hesitation in removing his shirt and pushing my chest against him.

Dimitri flipped me over and I groaned out his name as a finger slipped beneath the waistline of my short shorts to caress my clit. Our clothes came off quickly after that and it wasn't long before we were completely naked, basking in each other's bodies.

Soon, Dimitri was hovering over me, his tip barely touching my entrance. He was asking with his eyes whether I wanted him to go or not. I suddenly realised that Dimitri still thought I was a virgin, so I couldn't really be overly rough with him like I wanted to. Instead of simply pushing my hips forward and taking the whole of his length like I so desperately wanted to, I nodded and allowed him to take his gentle course.

I grasped one hand around his leg, urging to go faster and deeper, but he was smirking as he just about managed to keep his restraint. When I couldn't take his teasing pace any longer, I quickly flipped us, just managing to pin his hands above his head before he realised what had happened.

Now in control, I understood the pleasure of going at a slow pace. Rocking my hips gently against his, I saw Dimitri's face contort with desire as he struggled to get out of my grip. I rode him at an agonisingly slow speed until I eventually I could hold back no longer and I collapsed forward into his arms, allowing him to flip us again and slam into me, almost painfully.

I buried my face into Dimitri's shoulder, trying to muffle the cries of pleasure which escaped unbidden from my mouth. We were in the guardian's dormitory, we had to be quiet. When Dimitri reached between us to rub my clit I completely fell apart, spilling his name from my mouth as he finished inside me.

Dimitri rolled off me so that I could snuggle into his side, my leg resting over his. "I love you, Comrade." The words slipped out without me even realising, but I wouldn't take them back. It was true.

"I love you too, Roza." He murmured the words back to me and we laid in silence for a while, tracing random patterns on each other's bare skin.

I smiled as I realised that this was the main difference between me having sex with Dimitri and Christian – I wanted to lay with Dimitri, to feel his company long after we'd found our release. With Christian, I hadn't been upset that we'd had to part ways immediately.

"I have to go back to Christian's." I told Dimitri sadly when I felt myself drifting off to sleep. "I need some sleep before training in the morning."

Dimitri nodded and gave me a small kiss on the forehead. "Okay." But instead of letting me go, he simply held me tighter and captured my mouth in another long and passionate kiss. I thought for a second that we were going to be going for round two, but Dimitri pulled away just before I could get my hands on him again. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He checked hopefully.

I grinned at his enthusiasm. I was so glad that he had the same mindset as me – I'd been so worried that he'd look at me like he was crazy and say that he'd left for a reason: because we could never be together. "Of course." I assured him, leaning forward to give him another peck on the lips. "See you later."

Then I was forced to put my clothes back on and make as much of a sneaky return to Christian's room as I could – being caught in the guardian's section of the Academy wasn't something that would end well for me.

I got back to Christian's room without incident and opened the door as slowly as possible, trying not to wake Christian up. Smiling in my success as I slipped into the covers, not daring to change into my proper pyjamas in case I woke Christian.

I shut my eyes, deciding I really needed some sleep, though I wasn't really tired, the excitement of what I had done, what I was going to be doing, still coursing through me.

"Rose?" Christian's voice cut through the darkness.

"Hey." I replied, unsure of what he was going to say.

"Enjoyed yourself?" His voice was teasing and I couldn't help but grin, even though I knew he couldn't see it.

"Yeah." I admitted, almost blushing at the obvious happiness in my voice. "It was pretty good."

Christian chuckled. "Good. I'm glad you're happy."

My smile grew bigger and I felt my cheeks redden slightly. "Thank you."

"Night Rose." His voice was softer now and I barely heard it.

"Night Christian." I replied, the smile staying on my face as I was finally allowed to drift off.

* * *

Christian and I ran in silence, like normal, and I kept my eye on the watch I wore for training, impressed at how much he was improving. When we finished the laps, Christian leant over, resting his hands on his knees and hanging his head slightly. "I'm exhausted." He complained through pants.

I grinned. "Yeah, but your time improved by loads." I appraised. "Pretty impressive." I teased, showing him the watch for proof.

"Wow." He acknowledged, sharing a smile with me.

We returned to the gym then to spar. We'd been mainly been sticking to staking practice and weight-lifting since the time Lissa had watched because there was the unspoken agreement between us that we didn't want to risk something happening.

Now that Dimitri was back, however, I felt more confident that I wouldn't be attracted to Christian. The loneliness I'd felt wasn't there any more – there was no reason why I'd still have the urge to sleep with him.

Christian must have known my mindset and didn't look surprised when I suggested that we spar. Instead, he grinned. He must have been missing fighting as much as me – it made training much more fun.

We began to circle each other. I imagined our fight would be more interesting now – Christian had become a lot stronger and his stamina had grown immensely. We also knew each other a bit better now: we'd sparred enough that I knew his style of fighting, and he knew mine.

A few blows were landed on each other, but nothing significant and we both recovered easily enough. Our eyes were locked and I refused to give anything away in my expression.

Trying to catch me by surprise, Christian lunged forward and managed to land a jab to my side. I flinched slightly and jumped backwards, stopping Christian from continuing his assault. The neutral expression he'd been wearing faulted slightly and allowed his smirk to twist onto his mouth.

I scowled at him, but still maintained my concentration. Moments later, Christian tried a similar move on me. This time, his fist darted out, aiming for me shoulder. But I was ready, and faster. I caught his fist and replied with a sharp kick to the gut. Christian stumbled backwards and I knew that I'd won.

In one fast motion, I'd landed the blow Christian had been hoping to land on me, on him, and dragged him to the floor.

Grasping both his hands with one of mine and holding them above his head, I brought down my other hand above his chest, mock staking him.

I didn't let go of his hands and continued to straddle him whilst my face began to gloat. "I win." I taunted, noticing the gleam in his eye. Our faces were rather close, since I was holding his hands above his head, and I tried desperately not to allow the dirty thoughts enter my head. I'd thought this wouldn't be a problem any more.

"I don't think this is the outcome you really wanted though." Christian was wearing a smug smile as he took in my confused face.

I tightened my grip on his wrists unintentionally and saw an emotion pass over Christian's face, though it was gone before I could identify it. "And why's that?" I inquired.

He smirk was full blown this time as he moved his head up so that his lips were at my ear. "I think you like it when I win." I shivered as his breath tickled my ear and his lips just touched the lobe.

I returned my attention to his face, but his smug look had been replaced by something else and I felt the heat crackle between us.

A cough interrupted the moment and I managed to snap out of my trance whilst desperately willing myself not to blush and turned to Dimitri, trying not to look awkward as I climbed off Christian.

"You're late." I teased him, though my heart wasn't in it. I actually hadn't known Dimitri was serious when he'd commented he might come to some of our practises. That could end up being potentially awkward.

If Dimitri had any idea what had just happened between Christian and I he didn't show it. "Yeah, Alberta put me on an early shift this morning, but I thought I might get to see you fight before lessons. Guess I was a bit too late."

I chuckled. "Yeah, but you saw that I won, which is good enough for me." I replied with a taunt, rewarding me with a smile.

Christian interrupted us, his voice slightly guarded, which was understandable. "Rose we have lessons really soon." He commented. "And I need to go and change, do you mind if we go?"

I shook my head immediately. "No that's cool." I responded. "I need to change to." I didn't want to wear such revealing clothing around school all day. I suddenly realised that I probably should stop wearing my short shorts and tank top to train with Christian, too. I turned to Dimitri. "See you around."

He nodded at me and Christian and I exited together. The silence was almost awkward between us and I had the desperate urge to sigh, though I held it in. I wasn't sure talking about it would help. I'd thought Dimitri coming back would be enough for both of us to back off, but there was just something about it in the moment which meant I couldn't control myself. Especially now Christian and I had become closer in a friendly way, it seemed the make the sexual connection between us crackle even more.

Now I did sigh, but Christian ignored it. It was going to be difficult to keep this up.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Writing Christian and Rose is just so much fun! I love this pairing. I've got more than 100 reads on each of my chapters, which is incredible, thanks guys! Thanks for the reviews, they're the main reason I keep updating daily, they really motivate me :D I'm so excited for the chapter after this, it's definitely going to be one of my favourites. Review please! There's also a link for Rose's dress on my profile._**

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_Chapter Ten_

Christian was sat grimacing on his bed whilst pretending to do some homework whilst I rushed around the room trying to make sure I had everything Lissa had told me I needed. I'd got all the make-up, my straighteners and the dress so far, but I was saw Liss would tell me I'd forgotten something. There wasn't much else that I'd brought from my room to Christian's, though, and I was sure Liss would have more than enough beauty products for the both of us anyway.

"I'm sure you could just get ready in here." Christian rolled his eyes at me. "I have no idea how it takes you both so long. I'm ready already." I fixed him with a pointed look. "Well, nearly." He replied. "I just need to change clothes."

He was currently sat in his training clothes and even though he wasn't wearing a tux, he definitely couldn't get away with those. "I'm going to Liss's." I told him, having finally gathered everything into a bag. "You know what time to come, right?" I checked. Lissa would be upset if he was late, and I didn't want anything to ruin tonight. It had all been going so well.

Five days after they'd arrived and Dimitri and I had spent every night together. Not only was the sex amazing, but just talking and laying made my heart soar.

Although, training with Christian was equally as interesting. Most of it was normal, but there was just some moments when the sexual tension between us was almost too much to bear. We didn't act on it, but it was so obvious to the both of us and it was starting to take a toll – I could tell.

Right now, though, I didn't want to think about that and when Christian had assured me that he was going to be on time, I left and went to get ready with Liss.

Liss beamed at me when she opened the door and gestured hurriedly for me to come in. "I'm so excited!" She exclaimed. "It feels like ages since we've done something like this, just the two of us." I knew it was because of the field experience, but the guilt momentarily gnawed at me.

"I know." I replied with a grin of my own. Laying out my things, I felt Liss's slight annoyance at the dress. Christian hadn't got her anything, but she quickly told herself that it didn't matter and focused on plugging in her curlers and my straighteners.

"Are you going curly or straight?" She inquired.

"Curly." I replied immediately. That was how Dimitri preferred it.

Liss was equally as happy at my choice. "That means I get to curl it for you." She announced happily. "I'm going straight, so mine won't take long." She replied.

Talking to Liss as we did our hair and make-up almost made me forget about the horrible thing I'd done to her. Maybe I had been right when I said that we couldn't feel guilty forever: when I was distracted like this, there was no reason for me to even think about it, it was normal conversation between me and my best friend.

"Adrian healed a plant today." Liss informed me proudly. She was upset that she hadn't managed to make any progress with his skills yet, but was still impressed with Adrian.

I laughed quietly. "Cool. I guess at least that means you know it's definitely possible to learn each other's techniques." I tried to boost her confidence a bit more.

It worked and her smile widened. "Yeah," she agreed. Then it dimmed slightly. "Adrian really likes you, you know." She told me seriously, giving me a sideways glance as she momentarily stopped concentrating on her hair. "He told me about it, he's really genuine." Then a thought popped into her head. "Though I guess you probably know that from being able to see into my head."

I managed to chuckle. "I had no idea. You normally practise whilst I train Christian, so I'm too focused to notice what you're doing." Then I dipped my head slightly and tried to focus on doing my make-up. "I'm just not interested in Adrian." I admitted. "It wouldn't be fair to lead him on."

Liss sighed. "But why?" She complained. "He's perfect for you. And you have to like someone!"

I resisted the urge to cringe. "I'm just not bothered about anyone right now." I lied effortlessly. "I have to focus on training." I decided that I may as well try this route since it was something she couldn't really understand. Lissa had no idea as to the pressure I was under to keep her safe – maybe she'd believe that it took up all the time and I had no room for a relationship. "Since Dimitri left I don't have as much training time. I mean, training with Christian is fine, but it's not the same as training with someone who knows what they're doing. I want to make sure I'm on top of everything."

"I suppose." Liss admitted. "I still wish you'd try it, though." She pouted with a small chuckle.

I laughed and shook my head at her. "You just want to feel like an awesome match-maker." I told her with a smirk.

She chuckled. "Maybe." Her tone was light and thankfully the conversation moved in a different direction.

When we were both finished, I pulled the dress over my head and almost flushed at my appearance as I admired myself in Lissa's full length mirror. Christian's dress fit me perfectly and clung to all the places it was supposed to. Because it came down to my knees, it passed as being formal, though it was sexier than I had expected. The lace around the top meant that you could just see the top of my breasts, but their shape was emphasised by the tight material anyway.

Lissa looked equally, if not more, beautiful than I did. She was wearing a floor length gown of pale pink satin that hung perfectly over he slim figure. He straightened blonde hair swished around as she moved and she appeared to glide. She looked absolutely like a princess.

We couldn't help but grin at each other. Both of us loved dressing up like this and it was rare we had the opportunity to do it.

There was a knock on the door and I checked the clock Lissa had hung on her wall. Christian was surprisingly right on time.

Lissa opened the door and was greeted by Eddie and Christian. Christian's eyes widened slightly as he took in her appearance and immediately stepped forwards to peck her on the lips. "Wow Liss, you look gorgeous."

She beamed at him and though she was still a bit disappointed that he wasn't wearing a tux, couldn't help but admit that he looked fantastic.

Which he did. He was wearing relatively tight black trousers with a black shirt. His shirt was definitely tight and I could see the muscles he'd begun to develop clearly. His hair was as messy as normal, but it was a style that complimented him and I couldn't fault his decision not to change it. His was tie was a dark blue – a colour very similar to my dress, though I was sure it was by coincidence.

Liss gestured for them to come in whilst she made the final touches and searched the bag that she'd matched with her outfit.

Christian's eyes caught mine when he came in the room and I saw them do a long sweep over my body. They hovered over my hips and my breasts and I willed myself not to blush under his scrutiny. He didn't say anything to me, but his expression said enough. He liked what he saw.

Eddie sat awkwardly on the bed. He was wearing a pale shirt and black tie and I knew he wasn't keen on dressing up: he was probably just waiting for the after party, where he could finally relax for a bit.

When we arrived in the hall, there was no set seating arrangement and so we grabbed an empty looking table and waited for other people we knew to arrive. We'd actually gotten ready quite early and therefore the hall wasn't so full yet. Tables were all around the outside and there was a dance floor in the middle, though no one was on it yet and there was quiet music coming from speakers in the corners.

We were soon joined by Adrian, who wasn't at all subtle in his appreciation of my outfit. "You look stunning tonight, little dhampir." He winked shamelessly at me and I sighed, shaking my head at him, though I was in high spirits and couldn't help but grin at the compliment.

Tasha and Dimitri entered shortly after and my eyes instantly found Dimitri's. It was one of the only times I'd seen him dressed up, but his shirt wasn't as tight as Christian's and I couldn't appreciate his toned body as much as I wanted to.

We all talked lightly until the room had filled up and one of the Moroi in our year approached the table. "Hi Rhea." Liss greeted her with a perfect smile.

Rhea beamed back at her. "Hi Lissa." She replied, glancing around the table slightly awkwardly as we all focused our attention on her. "I was wondering if you'd like to meet my parents. They'd really like to meet you."

Rhea was a Tarus and although we hadn't spoken much to her before, Liss was famous everywhere as the last Dragomir. "Of course." Lissa grinned, standing up and smiling at us before following Rhea.

Eddie left shortly after as a novice from the year below asked him to dance. When I turned around I realised that the dance floor had filled up significantly and Adrian soon disappeared to speak to some of his distant relatives.

This left Dimitri, Christian, Tasha and I at the table. Christian and Tasha were wearing equally distasteful looks as they glanced around the room. I smirked at Christian and he caught my expression. "You can't tell me you're enjoying it any more than I am." He complained.

I grinned. "Of course I am." I teased back. "You know how long it took me to get ready, I'm practically obligated to have a good time."

Christian chuckled. "Well it looks like my money was put to good use anyway." There was a gleam in his eye that I was forced to ignore.

I almost blushed. "Looks like you're Aunt has good taste." I countered with a smirk.

I heard Tasha laugh from across the table and I suddenly remembered that they were there and also that Christian and I had been flirting. Friendly banter, I corrected myself as Christian returned his eyes to mine. "Let's dance." He blurted, holding out his arm to me. My eyes widened slightly in surprise and he shrugged. "I'm using you as practise so that I don't fall over or something when Liss asks me to." He explained.

Grinning, I accepted his arm and he led me onto the dance floor. Just as we got into the thick of the crowd, the music became even slower and more romantic and I met Christian's eyes as I was forced to loop my arms around his neck whilst he rested his hands on my hips.

We danced in silence for a few moments, our eyes not leaving each other. Christian's hands were hot through the thin fabric of my dress and I resisted the urge I had to play with his hair. I moved one my hands and began to play with his tie. "Was this on purpose?" I inquired about the matching colour.

He chuckled. "Not exactly." He admitted. "I'd put it on before I realised, but then I couldn't be bothered to change it."

I chuckled as we moved with the other dancers, our attention never leaving each other. "You look good." I commented without really meaning to – it just slipped out as I admired his outfit and his blue eyes bore into mine, shining at the compliment.

"Thank you." He seemed to pull me closer with his words and I could feel the heat between us, becoming increasingly hotter by the moment. My hands unconsciously did what they'd been yearning to do since they'd been around his neck and I began playing with the tufts of hair just at the nape of his neck.

We glided around in perfect sync, our eyes never leaving each other. "Rose?" Christian broke the silence, his voice slightly guarded, though the gleam was still there and the heat continued to burn between us.

My expression turned questioning and I felt that he gripped me even tighter, his welcoming fingers biting into my flesh. "What?" I inquired, curiosity, mixed with desire, running through my brain. I wondered momentarily if he was going to suggest we ditch the ball and go back to his room. I had the distinct feeling that I'd accept, if that was what he offered.

Instead, he just shook his head as the song stopped. "It doesn't matter." He dismissed, removing his hands from me and I returned my arms to my side. "We should go and sit down again."

I nodded and followed him back to the table, my skin still on fire, though I tried to deny it. When I saw that Lissa was back I feared that I looked awkward, or that I was blushing, though no one said anything if I looked any different. I felt the guilt gnaw at me as I sat down, despite nothing having actually happened.

"I'm going to go and get something to eat." Christian excused himself after a few minutes. There was an adjoining room with a buffet and that was where he was headed. Lissa decided that she'd join him. I noticed that his face fell slightly, though it was such a small change I doubted anyone else would have realised.

Adrian paid his attention to me though and he was pouting. "I can't believe you danced with him before me." He complained, gesturing to where Christian was walking off. "I didn't even think he _could _dance."

I laughed. "Adrian, I'll still dance with you." I assured him, causing his face to light up and Dimitri's to dim slightly.

"Then let's go!" He exclaimed. "Quickly, before some more family come and take me away."

Adrian held me close, though not as tight as Christian, and this time it caused no reaction from me. I pondered what was even happening between Christian and I – how had we become so sexually aware of each other.

My thoughts were interrupted by Adrian's prying comments. "So, how are you and Dimitri?" He inquired, though he looked like he already knew the answer. "I keep trying to dream walk you, only you're never asleep."

I flushed and averted my eyes for a second. "It's going pretty well." I admitted, not really wanting to have this conversation with Adrian – the sadness it caused in him to hear about it made me feel uncomfortable and guilty, even though there was no reason for me to be in this instance. "I've seen him every night so far."

"_Seen_." Adrian repeated, understanding the connotations perfectly. "Will you be okay when he leaves again?"

I'd been trying to ignore this part and make the most of what I had whilst it lasted. I shrugged. "I don't know." I replied. "Probably not, at least not for a while anyway. I'll get over it. But I'm just trying to make the most of it whilst it's available."

"I know." Adrian responded dejectedly. "I'm just looking out for you little dhampir."

We left the dance floor shortly after that and returned to the table. Dimitri and Tasha had disappeared to dance and I couldn't help the pang of jealousy that dimmed my smile slightly. Lissa and Adrian left as well when they were summoned to go and talk to some high ranking Moroi.

I leant across and stole a mini-sandwich from Christian's plate. "Thanks." I told him teasingly.

He shook his head, but was still smiling. "I'm just looking forward to this after party." He complained.

I sent him a surprise glance. "I didn't think you'd be bothered about that kind of thing."

He shrugged. "I'm not, normally." He admitted. "But since it's gonna be you and Liss and Eddie it won't be so bad." Then he smirked. "And it's got to be better than this."

I chuckled and we shared a grin just as Tasha and Dimitri returned to the table. Tasha was glowing and chatting animatedly to Dimitri. Christian sent me a subtle glance, but I ignored him. I wasn't going to give away that I was jealous.

After a few moments, Dimitri glanced at me and seemed a bit uneasy. "Would you like to dance Rose?"

Everyone at the table looked a bit shocked, including me, but I tried to hide my grin as I accepted. "Sure."

He didn't offer me his arm like Christian had and instead I just followed him onto the floor, letting my grin show as soon as we were alone. "You look beautiful tonight Roza." He murmured. His hold on me was gentle and I realised that he was extremely conscious that people might be watching us. It was lucky that Dimitri had just paid me a compliment because I blushed at the realisation Christian had held me tight without even thinking that someone might see us – he'd been too caught up in the moment, just like me with his hair.

"Thank you Comrade." I hoped I hadn't left a large pause before replying, my thought process had unnerved me slightly.

We smiled at each other and continued moving to the music. "Will I see you tonight?" He inquired, his eyes sweeping over every part of my body hungrily.

"Of course." I acknowledged, deciding it was probably best not to mention the after party, since he might have the innate urge to bust us, and hope that Dimitri didn't mind me turning up drunk.

The ball had no more excitements and I mainly chatted to Christian, Tasha and Dimitri since Adrian and Lissa were constantly occupied. Eddie spent most of the night with the other novices.

I was more than ready for the after party by the time it came around.


	11. Chapter 11

**_This is by far the chapter I've most wanted to post! I should warn that there's mature content ahead (I kept forgetting in all the other chapters, but this one is the most graphic so far). I hit 390 views just yesterday on this story, which is amazing! Thanks guys! Thanks to the new and old reviewers, it really means a lot :D_**

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_Chapter Eleven_

I grinned as we entered Eddie's room. It wasn't particularly big, but he'd improvised as best as possible by shoving his bed against the wall so there was plenty of room to dance and someone had obviously leant him some speakers, which were on top of his set of drawers. Beside the speakers were several bottle of alcohol.

Excitement surged through me. I hadn't done anything like this for so long. It would be nice to finally forget about all the drama and just enjoy myself. I instantly gravitated towards the vodka and poured myself a drink into one of the plastic cups Eddie had provided and went to grab a seat on the bed before more people came. Christian sat next to me and Lissa on his other side.

Lissa was drinking wine, whereas Christian and I had gone for the hardest stuff we could find. Eddie's room was soon packed, mainly with novices, and he cranked the volume of the music up, letting the proper dance music reverberate around the room and make my heart pound against my chest.

I downed my drink quickly and went to get both Christian and I another, since he promised to reserve my seat on the bed. Lissa was sipping on her drink and so I doubted she'd get very drunk. It appeared Christian and I shared a goal, though, and I increased the amount of vodka in my vodka and coke twofold.

After a while of us chatting and laughing, Christian and I finishing another three drinks, Adrian approached us. He had been talking to a group of novices and Eddie, but apparently had got bored. He was drinking his own alcohol and had clearly adapted – his face gave away how drunk he really was.

"Care to dance?" He directed it at me and I shook my head, giggling.

"I'm not sure I can stand up." I admitted. "Dance with Liss, she's barely drank."

Adrian turned his attention to my best friend and raised an eyebrow. She chuckled, but accepted his invitation. They moved into the clump of people that we insanely close due to the lack of space.

I returned my gaze to Christian, expecting him to be jealous, but instead I saw that all his attention was on me, not a hint of envy in his face. "Want another drink?" He inquired, moving to get me one before I had even answered.

I thanked Christian when he passed me the cup, suddenly very conscious of my body. We moved closer together so that it was easier for us to talk – the music was surprisingly loud. "Enjoying yourself?" I inquired, tilting my body so that my curves were emphasised through the thin material of my dress.

Christian's eyes followed my movements and he nodded, eyes finally returning to mine. "It's getting better." I caught the meaning behind his words and I felt the heat growing. "I'm incredibly drunk."

"Me too." I commented, taking another sip of the strong drink. I sensed that we were getting closer together, but didn't attempt to stop myself. I knew we weren't going to do anything stupid at a party with Lissa, but I was willing to push my luck a little bit.

"Would you like to dance?" I had a passing thought that I probably shouldn't, especially since I'd turned Adrian down, but I ignored it and downed my drink, accepting Christian's hand and allowing him to drag me into the centre of the floor. I glanced around to make sure we weren't near Lissa, before grinding shamelessly against him.

This was the way to dance. Christian's hands were incredibly tight on my hips whilst one of my hands rested on his chest, the other wrapping around his neck. My heels meant that I was almost face to face with him and I bit my lip as the music coursed through me.

We seemed impossibly close as we were grinding together, trying to control ourselves whilst also being incredibly conscious of our surroundings. I kept making sure we were only dancing as everyone else was – there was nothing _too _sexual about our movements.

Only there was, and we both knew it. Christian's hand crept down to caress my bum more than once, just as our mouths kept getting scarily close to each other.

Christian's lips were suddenly hovering around my ear and I shivered in his arms at the words he whispered to me.

"I want you."

"I know."

It was my immediate response and our eyes found each other, he knew that I wanted it too, that I was almost desperate with our bodies this close, the alcohol making me even more daring.

We decided it was best to go and sit back down after that, before we really did get carried away. We both knew we were on the verge and it wasn't a good position to be in.

Sipping on another drink that Christian had gotten me, I spied Lissa on the edge of the group dancing with Eddie. She'd drank a lot more since getting up to dance and was buzzing around the edges. She was oblivious that Christian and I had even moved from the bed.

We sat close, it was like we couldn't help ourselves, and chatted mindlessly. Everything we said had no meaning, though, and all that we thought about was each other. Our encounter in the gym was running through my mind, the time we'd almost given in again when I'd slept in his bed. All the times I'd wanted Christian were consuming me and I found myself growing incredibly heated, flushing as I watched Christian's lips as he spoke meaningless words to me.

He stopped mid-sentence at my expression and his turned slack. I bit my lip as we studied each other. I could tell he was warring with himself mentally and he let out a small groan.

Our eye contact was broken by the door bursting open, though. We both turned, shifting away from each other slightly as an automatic response, and I cursed mentally at who I saw in the doorway.

Dimitri was stood, grimacing at everyone in the room. "Everyone out." He commanded. "Party's over."

Christian and I stood reluctantly from the bed and were at the back of the pile of people who were filtering out of the door. The music had ceased, but Eddie couldn't really sort out the mess his room was in now since he had to go back with Lissa.

When I reached Dimitri, he was fixing me with a disapproving look and I almost blanched under his scrutiny. It must be obvious that I was drunk out of my mind. I could barely keep a straight face as he watched me. "Rose, could I have a word, please?" He inquired, his voice stern.

I was about to begrudgingly accept when an arm wrapped around my waist and Christian appeared beside me. "I'm afraid that won't be possible, Guardian Belikov, Rose has to take me home."

I caught the double meaning in his words and the arm around my waist was almost possessive. I smirked at Christian. "Oh really?" There was a glint in my eyes I knew he'd see.

He opened his mouth to reply, but Dimitri interrupted. "Rose-"

"We really have to go." Christian didn't let him finish. "Guardian Rose," I giggled, it was definitely an improvement on Guardian Hathaway. "I'm feeling faint, would you please escort me back to my room." Christian's smirk was enough to make me almost bite my lip, though I resisted.

"Sorry, Comrade, they always come first."

I heard Christian's snort, though he tried to cover it with a cough, as he pulled me out of the door, leaving Dimitri scowling after us. Once we'd rounded the corner and were sure that Dimitri wasn't following us, I let myself giggle. "I'm in so much trouble." I told Christian, though the excitement was pumping through me and I didn't care at all that his arm was still around me.

"Care for a drink? It might help." Christian pulled a half full bottle of vodka from behind his back and my eyes widened and I snatched it off him, taking a gulp.

I bent down to remove my heels as we carried on walking, sharing the bottle between us. We'd spent time talking to Dimitri and so the corridors were silent except for my occasional giggles as Christian either whispered something dirty in my ear, or allowed his hand to roam from my waist.

When we were almost back to his room, I stumbled for the first time, though Christian immediately steadied me, causing us to come face to face. All humour drained from him and his lips were on mine insistently before I could even breath. The hand that wasn't carrying my shoes wrapped into his hair and dragged us even closer together, our bodies moulding perfectly as we moved backwards, me shoving Christian into the wall.

The realisation that we were still in the corridor came quickly, though, and we just managed to pull apart, lacing our hands together as we moved the short distance to Christian's room.

As soon as the door was locked, I threw down my shoes and Christian discarded the bottle, shoving me against the door and kissing me roughly. Our hands were everywhere and I moaned into the kiss, pulling back and guiding Christian to the bed.

I bit my lip as an idea came into my head, shoving him down onto the bed, removing my clothing and then climbing on top of him.

I held his arms above his head and smirked as he struggled to break free. "I don't think so." I murmured into his ear, biting the lobe gently and causing him to let out a faint groan.

I continued to kiss around his jaw, coming dangerously close to his lips, but never touching them. Christian moved his head, trying desperately to capture my lips in his, but I was always too quick to avoid him, continuing to tease mercilessly, moving down his neck and sucking gently, wary not to leave any marks.

When I reached his collar, I moved one of my hands from his to loosen his tie and undo the buttons deftly. Because he was laying down I couldn't remove it completely, but I opened it enough to be able to run my hand, leaving soft nail marks down his chest. Using both my hands, I brought his wrists to either side of him, continuing to hold them, almost painfully, and restricting his movement.

I kissed down his chest whilst he struggled to break free. "_Rose._" He gasped my name when I reached the edge of his trousers and nipped at the skin.

I released both of his hands, since I needed to undo his belt and trousers, but when he went to touch me, I sent him a warning look. "Don't you dare." His eyes widened at my tone and he clenched his fists into the bedding, watching me with such lust in his eyes that I almost gave in and let him ravish me the way he wanted to.

When I pulled his trousers and pants down his legs, I returned my hands to holding his wrists and my mouth went to his throbbing erection. I smirked as his eyes widened and I licked his tip. "Rose, please."

I ignored his protests and struggling, moving my mouth up and down his length and smiling at his strangled moans. His hips began to buck unconsciously, almost making me gag. My tongue continued to swirl, though and I could feel his hips getting more and more desperate.

When I knew he was close, I removed my mouth, smirking at his disappointed face. Moving his hands so that they were above his head, I reached across to the bedside table and retrieved a condom, working it over his cock and then working myself over it, eliciting a gasp from both of us.

I began to ride him slowly, teasing him so much that his face began to contort in desperation. "Please Rose." His eyes were wide as my naked form moved up and down in front of him. "I _need _you." He pleaded, struggling once again against my hands. "I need to touch you."

I removed one of my hands, making sure that my grip on him was still secure, and moved it to rub myself, I threw my head back and moaned, increasing my speed automatically and allowed Christian to buck his hips against me. "I don't need you." I replied, meeting his eyes as a wave of pleasure coursed through me,

I was so close to my release and Christian sensed that, and my moment of weakness, breaking free from my grip and flipping our positions.

Now I was on my back and a wild Christian was in control. His face was alive with a powerful smirk as he positioned his cock at my entrance. "You don't need me?" He answered, taunting me without remorse.

I moaned, moving my hips so that his tip just entered me. "Christian." I groaned out his name louder than I'd meant to and he pushed into me hard, causing me to gasp in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Say it." He growled as he continued to pound me, still not letting me go. I cried out as one of his hands grabbed my nipple and twisted it roughly. "Say it."

"Fuck Christian, I need it." His eyes narrowed. "I need you."

He released my hands then and we were instantly all over each other. His rhythm never ceased, and I gasped, my hands raking down his chest and back whilst his tangled in my hair and cupped my bum.

Soon after we found our release and Christian collapsed down on top of me. I welcomed his weight and we both lay in silence, too out of breath to say anything.

We traced patterns on each other's skin, lightly touching, but still not saying anything. Eventually, Christian rolled off me and allowed me to curl into his side after he removed the entirety of his clothing.

I could feel myself drifting off quickly, the alcohol and the sex making me tired. "Night Christian." I whispered against his chest, perfectly content to be surrounded by him.

He leant down and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight Rose."

* * *

**_To Joleigh13, you totally knew where I was going with this chapter ;) Hope you liked it! :D_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_I didn't update yesterday, for obvious reasons, but I'm back and as motivated as ever! I'm so excited for the next few chapter, I've been planning how they're going to go for ages. Thanks for the reviews! Please review this chapter too :D_**

**_Hope you all had a good Christmas! _**

* * *

_Chapter Twelve_

I snuggled into Christian's side automatically when I woke up the next morning. I didn't even bother to think about the consequences this time, at least, not yet anyway. My head was pounding and I knew I had a killer hangover. I resisted the urge to groan, scared I might wake Christian up.

We were still very naked and his hand was resting gently on my lower back, his other behind his head. I automatically traced light patterns on Christian's chest whilst I was forced to think about the situation.

Something bugged me more than normal, though, about this time. It wasn't just that it had happened again, it was the differences. How I'd originally been so convinced that it was solely sexual attraction, only this time we were laying together afterwards, I'd fallen asleep in Christian's arms. That meant more than sex, didn't it? Or maybe it was just because I'd been drunk.

I was also slightly alarmed that the sex had been so much better than the sex I was having with Dimitri. Sex with Dimitri was good, but it was nothing like that, there was none of the _need _that I had absolutely felt with Christian last night. We had been desperate for each other.

Or maybe it was just because I'd been drunk.

Christian stirred slightly and when I glanced up, his striking blue eyes were looking back at me. "Morning." He whispered quietly, giving me the smallest of smiles.

"Morning." I replied, my lips also curling up slightly.

I couldn't bear to look at him any longer though and returned my attention to the mindless patterns my fingers were drawing on his chest. "Rose?" I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to meet his eyes.

"Yeah?"

His hand covered mine and stilled my fingers, forcing me to look up at him. "What is this?" He asked, his face sad as he questioned our position. "What are we doing?"

I sighed. "I don't know, Christian." I admitted, scowling at the way my head thumped. "I have a really bad headache, can we talk about it later?"

Christian regarded me sceptically. "We have to talk about it eventually." He commented seriously. "We can't just avoid it and let it keep happening like this."

"I know." I buried my face into his chest and my hands clenched. What was I supposed to say? There wasn't any way I could think of avoiding this. "It's just-" I paused, I didn't want to be really honest about my feelings and admit too much. "I just can't seem to stay away from you." I muttered eventually.

"Me neither." He replied immediately, making me feel slightly better. "It's like, I just don't care about anything when I get into _that _mood." He knew I understood.

"I suppose last night was a bit of a rare circumstance." I tried to reason. "It's not like we're going to be getting drunk together any time soon. In fact, that's probably the last after party we'll ever go to."

Christian weighed it up and nodded. "I guess." He agreed. "I mean, we managed to avoid it in every normal situation."

I nodded enthusiastically. "And the field experience will be over soon, so that'll change things again." I suddenly cringed. "Dimitri's going to kill me."

Christian's eyes widened as he remembered what we'd said. "Oh God," he glanced at me sympathetically. "I probably shouldn't have done that, but there was no way I was letting him have you."

"I didn't want him." The words had probably slipped out of both of our mouths without us realising it, but when our eyes locked we were both surprised. I flushed and looked away, refusing to be affected. "You don't think he'll be suspicious, do you?" I asked hopefully. "We weren't exactly subtly flirting."

"Nah." Christian assured me. "And even if he is, we were so drunk that you can just pass it off as that."

I figured that was reasonable. "I think we have to get up." I said seriously. It was a weekend, thankfully, but we really shouldn't lay in bed with each other, naked, for much longer.

"Okay." Christian agreed, pulling back the covers and making me shiver. I had an unbelievable urge to just grab back onto Christian and pull the comforter back over us, though I managed to resist and got up, standing and facing Christian.

I suddenly realised that in our drunken stupor we'd probably left marks all over each other. I turned to Christian and let my eyes sweep his body up and down. He noticed my scrutiny and raised an eyebrow. I ignored it and spun him around. There was a single red line on his back, but it wasn't deep. I ran my finger along it and sighed. "It's not big." I promised. "You can pass it off as walking into something, or something."

Christian returned the favour and assured me that I had no marks. I had been extra careful not to be too violent, despite how I'd wanted to be.

After checking each other's naked bodies out for a bit longer than necessary, we put our clothes on. "Do you think we should go and train?" I asked him seriously. "It might make this awful hangover a bit better."

"No way." Christian denied. "I'm going to get breakfast. We can train later."

I nodded, grateful that was his decision.

We walked to the cafeteria in silence. It wasn't particularly awkward, but we were both dreading the next few weeks. Now it had happened again, the guilt was back with full force. And Dimitri was here, I was going to have to face Dimitri no matter what and it wasn't likely to be pleasant.

Luckily it was only Adrian at the table and so we weren't faced head on with any shame yet. Christian disappeared to the feeders whilst I went to get some proper food. We met back up with Adrian and handed Christian the piece of toast I'd brought him.

"Thanks." He commented as I began shovelling the greasy food. The hall was a mixture of students and royals, but no one sat with us and we didn't talk much.

"Feeling rough this morning?" Adrian asked.

I nodded grimly. "Yeah." I complained. "Extremely. I think my head might explode."

Adrian chuckled. "You need to become an experienced drinker like me, then you'd be feeling as bright as I am little dhampir." He smirked at me.

I ignored him and continued to shovel in food. "Erm, Rose," Christian glanced at me and then someone behind me warily.

When I spun round my face fell. Dimitri was walking towards us, not looking at all impressed. "Rose, can I have word, please?" He demanded, guardian mask in full effect.

"Yeah." I agreed. "Can I just finish my food?" I checked hopefully, looking at the sausage I had left to eat longingly.

He sighed but nodded. "I'll wait outside." He obviously didn't feel comfortable around Adrian, or probably Christian after last night.

Adrian was smirking at me. "Someone doesn't look impressed."

I scowled. "I was only drunk, it's not that much of a big deal."

"Someone doesn't seem to think that." Adrian was looking mighty smug.

"Good luck." Christian looked like he really wanted to look sorry for me, but he wasn't hiding his smirk very well as I stood up and shot them both venemous looks.

Dimitri was waiting for me outside and gestured for me to follow him. I could already guess we were heading for the gym. When we finally arrived, he let his guardian mask fall to fix me with a stern look. "What were you thinking, Rose?" He asked, his voice full of exasperation. "You were so drunk you could barely keep yourself upright."

I scowled at him. "I was having a good time for once in my life." I exclaimed with annoyance. "It was one night. _One night_." I emphasised. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"You're supposed to be responsible." He retaliated.

"I'm in a school guarded with wards and tonnes of guardians. What do you think I was going to happen whilst I'm getting myself drunk and enjoying myself without being burdened by the things that have happened?" My voice was raised now and I couldn't help myself. "This is hardly the same as Jesse. This wasn't hurting my reputation at all, I wasn't exactly throwing myself at anyone."

"I don't know, you and Christian looked pretty friendly." His eyes darkened considerably with that and mine widened.

"Can you hear yourself?" I exclaimed, though the guilt was almost too much to bear. I was straight out lying to Dimitri, claiming he was an idiot for even considering the truth. "That's my best friend's boyfriend. We were drunk and he was just teasing you because he knows about us. It was just Christian being a dick and I went along with it because I didn't want a lecture on my night off."

Dimitri's eyes widened and he glanced away, embarrassed that the thought had even crossed his mind. "How was I supposed to know you'd told him?" He questioned.

I sighed. "I know, I'm sorry." I rubbed the back of my head.

He waved me off. "It's not your fault." He replied. "I was just annoyed because you were drunk." He admitted. "Why did you tell Christian? I suppose he knows you've been seeing me every night."

I nodded. "I just had a bad dream one night when I was staying with Christian and I must have said your name. Christian woke me up and I was just upset so I told him everything." I blurred some facts and fiction to make it sound more believable.

Dimitri's face was instantly sympathetic and he came forward resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I had no idea." He admitted guiltily, obviously he'd made the connection between him leaving at my nightmares. "You have bad dreams a lot?"

I shrugged. "Not since I've been sleeping in Christian's room." I admitted. "But I don't know whether they'll come back when the field experience is over." I doubted that they would, but maybe when Dimitri left it'd make a big difference.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Rose. I wish I could do something, I didn't know that me leaving would affect you that much." Then he glanced away. "Well, I suppose I did, but I thought it was for the best." He met my eyes and I could see the pain in them, "I still think it's for the best."

"I know." I didn't want to make him feel guilty about his decision, we both knew it was the only way. At least now we could be together the few times we might see each other. "And it's more because of Spokane than you leaving, with the nightmares." I assured him.

He nodded and I glanced up at the clock. "I think I have to go back to the cafeteria, I probably shouldn't have even left Christian for this long."

"Of course." Dimitri seemed to remember that I did actually have a duty at the moment and walked me to the edge of the gym. "I have a shift, anyway. Will I see you tonight?"

"Probably." I assured him.

When I got back to the cafeteria, Christian and Adrian were laughing together, much to my surprise. Lissa still wasn't awake and I supposed she had ended up drinking a lot last night, though I had been too occupied with Christian to consult the bond.

"He didn't give you too much of a hard time, did he?" Christian checked as I retook my seat.

"No," I assured him. "No thanks to you, though."

Christian smirked. "It was funny, you have to admit."

I groaned. "Yes." I admitted. "But I had to tell him that you know." I explained seriously. "You were that much of dick."

Christian smiled winningly at me, but Adrian had raised a surprised eyebrow. "You told Christian, but not Lissa?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah." I'd forgotten about Adrian for a second. "I had a bad dream one night." I knew he'd figure out the rest without me having to explain it in detail like for Dimitri.

Adrian nodded. "I see." Then he raised an eyebrow at Christian. "What did you do to Dimitri?"

I glowered at Christian. "He told him he needed to 'take me home'." I quoted sarcastically.

He smirked. "But you told him 'they always come first'," He countered.

I sighed. "We're such idiots."

Adrian was laughing. "I bet the cradle-robber was so pissed."

"Understatement." I muttered. "But he forgave me." I smirked at them both now. "So no harm done."

I caught Christian's eye and we both knew what I was thinking. Some harm had definitely been done. But for now, I was going to ignore that as much as possible.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Sorry for the late update! My boyfriend bought me Sims 3 for Christmas and it's just so addictive :( After playing for about 3 days straight though I think I can control myself. I also hit a bit of writer's block with this chapter, but I'm definitely past it and going to start writing the next chapter right now! I've recently had so many ideas for this story, I can't wait to write them all! _**

**_No reviews last chapter :( This made me incredibly sad, hope I can get some this time! They really make my day! _**

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_Chapter Thirteen_

We decided that watching a film would be a good idea, since Liss certainly didn't feel like practising her magic and Christian and I really weren't up to training.

Since Adrian's room was the biggest, and the only one with a TV, that was where we headed. It turned out Eddie had probably drank the most out of all of us and he looked miserable. He was paler than I'd ever seen him and dark circles hung under his eyes. He'd had a great time though, and I was glad – it was nice to see him relax a bit.

In Adrian's room, four of us huddled on the bed whilst Eddie took the armchair. I had a feeling he'd fall asleep almost immediately. Liss was on the end, then Christian, then me and then Adrian.

Adrian decided that a scary film was what he felt like, much to Liss's distaste. I didn't mind them, though, and was happy as long as he didn't put it on too loud.

"How much longer is your Aunt staying for?" Liss asked Christian whilst the adverts played. "It's been really cool to see her again."

"They're going home next weekend." Christian replied, barely glancing at me. I already knew this, though, Dimitri had told me. I wasn't even sure what to think about it – I was just trying to not let it ruin my time with him, I'd deal with him leaving when it came to that. "But yeah, it's been awesome." He grinned at her.

We'd spent a surprising amount of time in her little cabin, sometimes just Christian and I since Lissa was busy with her magic a lot, and I'd been a bit shocked at how little animosity I held towards Tasha – maybe it was because Dimitri had been so clear that he still had feelings for me.

"I suppose you won't see her again until graduation after that." She commented, dragging my mood down slightly, couldn't she just leave it?

Christian shrugged slightly. "Maybe before that." I knew he was just trying not to get me down. "She's not that busy."

Lissa nodded, but the film started then and we all fell silent.

I woke up when someone nudged me gently. My eyes fluttered open and were met by icy blue ones. Christian was wearing his classic smirk, but thankfully I understood the situation before I did anything I might regret.

"I think you might have drooled on me." Christian complained as I moved my head and returned to the sitting position I had been in at the start of the film.

"Shut up." I scowled at him, too tired to come up with a more witty response. Adrian was shaking his head in amusement, and I grateful my facial expression hadn't given anything away about what I was feeling. "I fell asleep through all of it?" I inquired, glancing at the rolling credits.

Liss nodded. "Lucky for you. I couldn't sleep and had to sit through the whole thing." She complained, grimacing at Adrian for having picked the film.

"I'm starving." Christian interrupted. "Can we walk and talk?"

The walk to the cafeteria wasn't long, but when we got there, I saw Tasha and Dimitri sat alone and eating. I had to stop myself from grimacing. I didn't really want to be around Dimitri because of what had happened last night - being around Lissa was bad enough. I knew that I deserved it, really, but that didn't make me feel any better.

"Hey guys." Tasha beamed at us. "I thought we might not see you at all today."

Christian laughed, but his eyes flashed to Dimitri uncomfortably for a moment. "If it wasn't for how hungry I was then I probably would have stayed in bed all day." He admitted. "Erm, sorry I was rude to you last night, Guardian Belikov." His words were rushed and I knew that he was focusing more on me than Dimitri when he said it, but I was still slightly surprised.

Dimitri waved him off. "It's fine." He assured Christian, I knew he'd been more upset with me than Christian anyway.

Liss was also a bit shocked, but she'd been long gone before the conversation had happened between the three of us, thankfully. "Go and get some food." Tasha urged, "then I have something to tell you."

We all grinned. If Tasha had something to tell us it was bound to be good. The thought that she was planning on announcing her engagement to Dimitri, or something, flashed through my head for a split second, but I had to stop myself laughing. I was being ridiculous.

I went to the feeders with everyone and then shovelled as much food as I could fit onto my plate. Eddie did the same, whereas the Moroi stuck to a piece of toast and a yoghurt. I looked at Christian in disgust and he smirked. "We can't all have your appetite, Rose."

Back at the table, we all ate slowly, waiting expectantly for Tasha to reveal her news. "Come onnnn." Christian whined eventually. "Just tell us."

Tasha smirked and I immediately realised where Christian had adopted the expression from. "Okay, okay." It was obvious how much she was enjoying teasing us. "I may have something planned for after you graduate." My eyes widened slightly. "I've arranged for us to go on a trip round Europe." She explained. "Well, I'm in the process of arranging it. I need to speak to you about numbers, really."

We all nodded excitedly. "Well, Christian, Lissa, of course." I tried not to flinch. _Of course _they'd still be together after graduation – why wouldn't they be? "Then your guardians," she looked at me pointedly this time. "I'm including Adrian in the count." She said, surprising me slightly.

Christian looked slightly annoyed at the idea, but Adrian also looked a bit uncomfortable. "I don't want to intrude." She admitted with a chuckle.

Tasha shrugged. "I'll count you in for now, you can discuss it between yourselves and let me know. Now, do you know how many guardians you're going to be assigned overall Lissa?"

Liss considered it for a moment. "Three, I think." She decided. "It was supposed to be Dimitri as the experienced one, so I'll probably get Rose and another novice and then an older one." She explained.

"Okay," Tasha was adding things up in her head whilst we spoke. "Now, Adrian, I know you haven't got guardians within the Academy, but if we were going away, would you have them?"

He nodded. "They'd assign me one of the court guardians."

"Okay," She agreed. "This should be doable."

We all grinned at each other. Other than mine and Lissa's escape and Spokane, we didn't get to spend much time outside of the Academy. Doing this for graduation was incredibly exciting – especially somewhere abroad.

"This is so cool." Lissa couldn't contain herself. Not only was she excited about leaving the academy and finally getting to do something exciting, she was just looking forward to spending some quality time with Christian, where there wouldn't be people judging them.

I wondered if I was right in thinking that this thing, whatever it was, between Christian and I would disappear when the field experience was over. It had started before the field experience, but we'd learnt to control ourselves in training now – it was only because I was staying in his room that we'd given in again.

Christian was grinning too and I wished momentarily that I could see into his head too – I had no idea what he must be feeling right now. I supposed he was happy, though, he'd get to spend a lot of time with his Aunt Tasha and he was still happy with Lissa. There was nothing bad about this situation for him, and it was so far away that we'd have probably forgotten about our incidents anyway.

I really didn't have anything to worry about, but it was so hard when the memory of last night was fresh in my mind.

I suddenly realised another thing. Dimitri would be coming around Europe with us. That should be enough for me to be happy about. Maybe we could even tell people – we'd have graduated, Dimitri and I had no reason not to have a happy Summer together.

We chatted after that but nothing much else happened. Mixtures of happy and unhappy thoughts were whirring through my brain and I struggled to keep a straight face. I felt like I could sleep for weeks.

* * *

"I don't know how you're bringing yourself to do this." Christian commented from where he was laid in bed, looking extremely warm and comfortable, whilst I fixed my hair. "I still feel dreadful."

"You obviously aren't as healthy as me." I replied with a smirk. "I feel wonderful." My headache had completely gone and I physically felt fine, despite not being particularly happy.

"Well, have fun." There was something almost bitter in his voice as he closed his eyes and shrugged further down into the bedding. "Turn the light off when you go out."

I did and left the room silently, sneaking easily past the Moroi who was supposed to be watching the dorms.

I didn't bother knocking on Dimitri's door any more and opened it as quietly as possible, knowing he'd be sat on his bed reading and waiting for me.

He was and I allowed myself to grin. I always made sure to appreciate his sexiness. His toned chest, exposed, was something I adored about it him and bit my lip as I kicked off my shoes and joined him in bed.

Dimitri was taking me in as well and an easy smile found its way onto his face. "Hello Roza."

"Hello Comrade."

Our lips found each other's in seconds. It was almost odd how sexual our relationship had become. In the beginning it had been completely about emotion and trust, with a few kisses and hugs, but now we spent most of our time with our clothes off. I was starting to realise how much importance sex actually has in a relationship.

My top came off quickly and Dimitri's hands began to roam south, though his lips stayed glued to mine.

The kiss was good, as good as ever, but there was something missing tonight. I just wasn't as turned on as normal.

Trying not to be disheartened, I dug my nails deeper into Dimitri's back and rolled against him, rewarding me with a groan and my whispered name.

It wasn't there, though, the heat and I sighed mentally. My encounter with Christian swam before my eyes and as much as I tried to ignore it and concentrate on Dimitri, I couldn't. Christian's words came back to me: _don't do anything you don't want to._

I pulled away. "I'm still feeling pretty ill." I lied effortlessly. "I thought I'd be okay, but my head's spinning. Can we just lay tonight?"

Dimitri didn't look surprised at all. "Of course." He chuckled. "I was honestly surprised you came at all. You looked pretty ill all day."

Forcing myself to smile, I snuggled into his side, not bothering to put my shirt back on. Laying here wasn't much better, though, it just left me to think, which I wasn't keen on doing at the moment. This was much worse than the first time I'd not been able to have sex with Dimitri. This time I just wasn't turned on at all.

"I'm looking forward to going to Europe." Dimitri interrupted my thoughts, which I was grateful for. "Tasha says we might even call in at home."

When I glanced up at Dimitri his eyes were lit up and I couldn't stop myself from grinning. "That would be amazing." I replied.

"It would." He agreed, giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead.

I had to stop myself from flinching. I was so confused with my reactions. "I think I have to go back to Christian's." I admitted, giving him a peck on the lips. "I'm really tired and we have to train tomorrow."

"Of course." Dimitri acknowledged, without any hint of suspicion in his voice. I retrieved my t-shirt and slipped it back on. Dimitri's kiss was slightly harder this time and I felt him smile into it. "I love you, Roza." He whispered against my skin when he'd pulled back.

"I love you too." I replied automatically, relieved that my voice didn't catch. "See you tomorrow."

When I was back in the corridor, I welcomed the cold air that came from not being wrapped up in Dimitri's arms any more. My head was spinning and I just wanted to be rid of my emotions. I was lying to everyone, probably including myself and it was beginning to take its toll on me.

I was surprised that Christian's light was on when I opened the door. He was laying in bed, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.

"You okay?" I checked, concern immediately flowing through me. "It's late."

"I couldn't sleep." He responded, turning his face slightly to look at me. "Have fun?"

My face fell. "No." I grimaced.

Christian looked mildly surprised and I also saw a hint of relief, he must have been worried that I sleep with Dimitri even though I probably wouldn't have wanted to. "What happened?" He inquired.

"I didn't sleep with him." I knew Christian would have already figured that out, but I refused to admit why. I couldn't tell him that I hadn't been turned on. That was strange. "It was the same as in the gym." I half-lied.

He nodded. "I thought it might." He acknowledged. "You okay?" He checked, meeting my eyes as I grabbed my pyjamas and quickly changing into them. I didn't care about changing in front of Christian right now, he'd seen it before. His eyes widened slightly and I saw them sweeping my exposed skin.

I flushed as I realised that turned me on more than Dimitri touching me had. Hanging my head, I clambered into my bed on the floor after turning the light off. "I'm fine." I assured Christian gently. "I just need to sleep."

"Okay. Night Rose." I barely heard his next words and I was unsure if I'd even been supposed to. "There's always room up here for you."

"If only." The words slipped out of my mouth without me having time to stop them and I bit my lip in the darkness. _If only _indeed.


	14. Chapter 14

**_You have no idea how much I've wanted to skip the rest of the story just for this moment! So excited to have finally written this up. Hope you like it! And so many reviews, thank you all! :D_**

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_Chapter Fourteen_

I counted out loud for Christian as he lifted the weight up and down. I was honestly surprised at how much Christian had come on. Because I'd never seen Moroi who trained before, I had no idea what their physical limits were. Christian's muscles were far bigger than when we'd first started training – I could both see it and had had the pleasure of feeling it.

I liked it when Christian lifted weights. He was paying no attention to me, focusing solely on doing the next rep, but it meant I got to check him out mercilessly without him being any the wiser. His muscles had started to ripple when he lifted the dumbbell up and down and I bit my lip subconsciously after saying the next number.

I quickly shook myself out of it when the door was slammed open. Frowning, I turned around, expecting it to be some novices who hadn't realised that Christian and I were training, my skin paled when red eyes met mine, though.

"Christian." I snapped, having moved into my fighting stance. I only had the practise stake on me and there was no time to get a real one before the Strigoi would attack me. "Stay back." I ordered.

I didn't bother turning around to see that he had listened, it would only give my opponent an opportunity to strike. The Strigoi seemed to leap the whole way across the room as it lunged for me, landing a harsh blow to my arm. I staggered backwards but recovered easily, narrowing my eyes at the man I was facing.

He had been a dhampir before Strigoi and was large, almost the same size as Dimitri. I tried not to make that comparison as we continued to size each other up. Deciding I had to make a move, I lunged forwards and landed a kick to his side. The Strigoi didn't move at all.

I studied his face. He was old and was far, far stronger than I was. I didn't even have my stake. "Christian, you should try and get out of here." I could barely make myself say the words. "Guardians will be fighting outside, someone will help you."

Christian didn't respond and I could hear that he hadn't moved either. I had to try and ignore him, and focus on the fight. The Strigoi had lunged for two more blows whilst I'd been speaking, one hitting me hard.

I returned fire, thinking I'd found an opening and slamming my fist towards his shoulder. The Strigoi caught it, though and twisted my arm, causing me to cry out and involuntarily move towards him. He grasped my other arm and leaned down over my neck. The practise stake fell from my hand as I felt teeth graze my pulse.

Tears gathered in my eyes as the realisation that I was going to die came flooding through me. I was only seventeen. I was supposed to be Lissa's guardian, she'd be devastated, she'd go back to harming herself. And me, I was so full of life. I wasn't ready to die.

I gasped as a scream filled the room though. The Strigoi staggered away from me as he became consumed in hot flames. I had to move quickly so as not to be burnt. The Strigoi fell to the floor in seconds, only charred remains left and I kicked it to make sure, before rushing to grab a stake and plant it through its heart – you couldn't be too sure.

Then, breathing heavily, I finally turned and met Christian's gaze. His eyes were wide and his hands were outstretched in front of him. "Are you okay?" He asked me, breaking the tense silence that had formed between us.

I nodded slightly. "I'm good. Thank you. You saved my life."

A smirk found its way onto Christian's face, but it wasn't convincing, and I could see the mix of emotions struggling to surface. "You owe me."

I smiled wickedly at him, the realisation that I was alive suddenly coursing through me like a high, the adrenaline making me giddy. "I have to go and help." I realised. "I have to get you to the other Moroi." I checked the bond, my thoughts going to Liss. "Liss is safe in the cafeteria with the majority of the student body." I assured him.

"You have to let me fight with you." Christian responded immediately. "Look what we can do."

I knew he was right, but I bit my lip. "I can't." I said seriously. "I can't risk your life." Then I glanced away for a moment. "And I really don't want to."

Christian was immediately right in front of me, though. "Rose," he whispered gently. "Please. You know how much we can do. We can help so many people."

His hand was on my chin and I raised my face so that it was inches from his. "I know." I admitted. "Let's go, then."

I had been about to ask something, but his mouth, hot and persistent, was on mine. The kiss was almost over before I'd had time to respond, but Christian's eyes were wild with passion and excitement.

"Do you want a stake?" I checked seriously. "I don't know how uncomfortable it'd be for you." We'd only ever used practise stakes before of the effect of the silver on Moroi. "It might weaken your magic."

Christian shook his head. "I'll be fine with my magic." He assured me.

"Okay." I agreed. "Don't use such a powerful spell, though." I instructed as my eyes swept the room, seeing if there was anything other than the stake in my hand which I might need. "Just distract them and I'll stake."

We headed towards the door. "Okay." Christian agreed. He stopped just before we got to the door and gave me another quick kiss on the lips. Our eyes met and that said more than any words could have done.

My heart was pounding as we left the gym. "Let's get to the elementary campus." I decided, since that was closest to where we were. "There's bound to be some guardians there. Keep a look out." I warned him as we set off with a light jog.

We only met one Strigoi on the way there and it was dead almost instantly. Christian lit its head up, allowing me easy access to its heart.

We shared a smirk and carried on.

It was as I'd expected at the lower school campus and there were several guardians and Strigoi fighting. My heart lurched as I saw Dimitri taking on three at once, I gestured for Christian to follow and leapt forwards, my stake driving into one's back.

Christian lit up another head, allowing Dimitri to stake it whilst I landed a blow to the thirds' head. Now three against one, we easily killed the last.

Dimitri thanked me, but fixed me with a stern glance. "You shouldn't have let him fight."

"You know she wouldn't have been able to stop me." Christian answered for me. "The only reason my Aunt's not out here is because people are keeping her away." He guessed. "You know I'm helping. Even if I go down, you know I'll have saved more."

I winced at the thought and Dimitri merely nodded, gesturing for us to follow him as we moved around, helping the guardians.

We were outnumbered by far and there was always somewhere for Christian and I to be helping. Alberta didn't even blink at Christian's presence when we killed two Strigoi which had her pinned up against a tree. She thanked us gratefully and threw herself back into the fight.

I kept my eye on Christian the whole time, but he held his own easily. His magic was powerful and Tasha had obviously taught him well. No Strigoi ever got close enough to him for him to even need the hand-to-hand combat skills I'd been teaching him.

After saving Alberta, I found myself suddenly surrounded by three red-eyed figures. Two were men, much bigger than me, one a woman, who still out-sized me considerably.

I knew Christian would have my back and the woman's head was instantly alight, allowing me to stake her whilst dodging attacks from the other two.

Now that she was down, I returned to my perfected stance and danced around their attacks flawlessly. Whilst one lunged for me, I dodged forwards, lashing out with my stake and catching the smaller of the males on the cheek with it. He cried out, but didn't stop with his attack.

I wondered why Christian hadn't set him on fire yet. He must be starting to feel the exhaustion of using his magic too much and was waiting until he knew that I needed his help. He was right to withhold his magic because it wasn't long before I found an opening and could manoeuvre the stake through the smaller man's flesh and to the heart. These three had been young and weren't significantly stronger than me.

Now it left me with the last one. Although he managed to punch me in the face, so that I could feel the blood in my mouth, it gave me enough of an opening to kick him in the stomach, forcing him to the ground and allowing me to guide the stake to his heart.

As soon as I was sure he was dead, I spun around to check my surroundings. My heart lurched when I realised what had happened, though.

The reason Christian hadn't been setting things on fire for me was because he wasn't there. The sun was almost coming up and so the Strigoi were leaving, only they were taking people with them, and Christian was one of them.

I screamed as I saw a large male carrying Christian on his back, running away from the guardians with speed that no dhampir could match. "_Christian!_" I hadn't even realised my voice could be that loud as I shouted after him, desperately attempting to catch up to where his lifeless body was being taken away.

Tears gathered in my eyes as I felt a hand on my shoulder, restraining me. "Rose." Dimitri's voice was soothing, but I ignored him, finally letting the hot trails cascade down my cheek. I'd let Christian be taken. I felt like I was going to throw up. My vision swam for a moment and I raised my hand to my head.

A sob racked my body and Dimitri pulled me into his chest, though I immediately pulled away from him. I couldn't think clearly, I needed desperately to think of some way to help him. I was sure that he wasn't dead, otherwise why bother taking him with them? They were obviously planning on using him for a meal later.

"Dimitri, we have to go after them." My voice was cracked as I finally met his eyes. "I have to go and tell Lissa." My eyes widened and more tears fell down my face. It was all my fault.

I checked the bond and ignored everything that Dimitri was saying to me. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear anything other than that Christian was okay.

"Dimitri." When I'd calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence, I turned back to him, finally meeting his eyes. He was watching me warily and I could see a mixture of grief and helplessness in his gaze. All the other guardians had dispersed and were no doubt having a meeting. Dimitri had probably told them he'd take care of me whilst I was in this state. "We have to go after him." I repeated my earlier statement more forcefully.

Dimitri sighed. "Rose, you know we can't do that."

"Why?" I immediately retaliated. "Look, it's sunny. How far do you think they can have gone? How many places that close to the Academy can they be hiding in? You must know. You know we can do this."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Rose, you're being extreme. I know it's Christian and I know he's your friend, but we can't risk more lives."

I wanted to scream at him. "Yes, we can. How many Moroi and dhampirs do you think they've taken? Lots, I bet, there were tonnes of Strigoi here and you know it." I forced myself to take a deep breath. I had to be rational. I couldn't give away how angry and devastated I was right now, otherwise there's no way he'd take me seriously. "I have to go and tell Lissa what happened." I explained. "I want you to find out how many people were taken and where the Strigoi could be hiding." It was an order that I didn't have the right to give and I knew he probably wouldn't do it. "Please Dimitri." I begged. "Please at least do that for me."

He was studying my face, his guardian mask back in full force now that I'd managed to clear my own act up. "Okay." He glanced around before giving me a gentle kiss on the forehead. I couldn't stop myself from flinching this time. "I'm sorry." He muttered. "I hope the princess is okay."

I left then and after checking the bond practically sprinted to Adrian's room. Him, Lissa, Tasha and Eddie were all sat in there waiting for further news. Now that I'd let her back in, I could feel a steady trail of worry coming through the bond. She was scared because she hadn't seen Christian and I the whole time.

I tried to ignore the feelings seeping through to me and concentrated on getting there as fast as I could. I needed to get this over and done with so that I could focus on convincing Dimitri to convince everyone else that a rescue mission was a good idea.

When I actually got outside the door, though, all my drive disappeared and I played the scenario out in my head. I wasn't sure I could do this. It was all my fault. What if Lissa blamed me? What if I was going to lose Christian and Lissa?

Bracing myself, I opened the door. Eddie was immediately on his feet, expecting it to be a guardian with news. None of them were expecting me and relief instantly flew through the bond.

I glanced around the room. Curious eyes met mine and my mask slipped for a moment. Liss saw it and she understood. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her. "It's all my fault. I should never have let him fight. They took him and I-" I paused to collect myself and restrain the tears that were gathering around my eyes. "I'm so sorry Liss."

She'd burst into silent tears the moment I'd spoken and Adrian pulled her into a silent hug. I faced Tasha and her grief was obvious. "Christian?" She double-checked, her voice a whisper.

I nodded. "I'm sorry Tasha, but," I forced myself to remain calm. "I need your help." I stated blatantly. "I want to go on a rescue mission." I ignored the surprised glances from around the room. "Christian's still alive, I'm sure, and they will have took others, too. I asked Dimitri to get me some numbers from the meeting, I need you to help me convince him Tasha. He thinks I'm being ridiculous, but I'm not."

She was agreeing with me instantly. "Of course." She replied, standing up and moving towards me. "Do you know where he is? We should go and talk to him right now. We have limited time."

"I can find him." I assured her. "Liss, I'll do everything I can, I promise. I'll see you later. Stay with Adrian and Eddie."

She stood up and threw her arms around me. "Okay." She mumbled, numbly. "I'm glad you're okay." She whispered, reaching out and touching my face. I wondered what he was doing until the light poured through the bond. She'd healed me.

"Thank you." I replied before leaving the room with Tasha.

This was going to be the hard part. But I _had _to try and get Christian back. I had to.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Wow, I'm nearly at 1000 reads on the first chapter! Amazing :D So excited by this story at the moment, I have so many ideas that I had to bullet point them ;( Anyway, thank you so much to the reviewers! And a happy new year! No parties for me this year, which is incredibly disappointing :( _**

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_Chapter Fifteen_

I couldn't bring myself to look at Tasha as we walked to the gym – that was the only room that was big enough for a full blown meeting with the number of guardians that were currently at the Academy.

"I don't blame you, Rose." She said softly, causing me to look at her.

I flinched. "It's my fault though." I countered. "We were in the gym and Christian saved me by torching the one that came for me. I should have just taken him to the dinner hall like I wanted to, but he convinced me. I'm so stupid."

Tasha's expression didn't change. There was obvious sadness, but also a huge amount of pride swelling in her features. "He'll know that what he did was the right thing and you should too. Think how many lives he saved. How many Strigoi did you kill between you?"

I paused. "Maybe twenty?" I guessed. "Twenty-five, perhaps." I admitted. I knew that she was right, but it didn't make me feel any better. I'd rather have lost ten people I didn't know than Christian.

"Exactly." She stated. "You did a good thing."

"But it's Christian." I muttered, setting my eyes downcast again. "It's not just somebody random."

She sighed. "I know, I know what I'm saying doesn't really make it any better."

We turned the corner then and almost ran into Dimitri. He eyed Tasha and sighed, he knew he was going to have a hard time convincing us a rescue mission wasn't a good idea. "Did you get anything?" I asked immediately.

"Yes. They took twenty-five Moroi and dhampirs, including Christian." He explained. "And I've also narrowed down their location."

I gaped. "Really?" I demanded, beginning to get excited. We could actually do this. It was realistic.

"Yes, there's a large cave just outside the grounds. Large enough to hold lots of Strigoi and prisoners, I can't think that they'd be anywhere else. There wasn't enough time for them to get any further than that."

"So, we can do this?" I stated. "Have you spoken to Alberta?"

Dimitri sighed. "Rose, you have to be realistic. I know that it's Christian, but you can't let your personal feelings get in the way." Their was a hint of jealousy in his voice and I knew what he'd assumed – the same as what he'd accused me of after the ball.

I scowled at him. "Really, Dimitri?" I responded. "You really think this is just about my feelings? Look at the numbers, you know that this is the right thing to do. _They come first_. Remember?" I knew my voice was raised. "This isn't about _your _feelings either."

I gave him a pointed look and he grimaced. He knew I was right. He ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, Roza, I know you're right. I'll go and speak to Alberta. Don't get your hopes up, though, you know we've never done anything like this before."

My hopes had already soared through the roof, though. We walked to the gym in silence for the rest of the way. Dimitri commanded us to wait outside whilst he addressed Alberta.

I tapped my foot impatiently. I needed some confirmation. Tasha interrupted my thoughts, though. "I always suspected that there was something between you two."

I blanched, thinking she meant Christian and I. She couldn't know that. "What?" My voice was slightly shaky.

"You and Dimka." I breathed a small sigh of relief. Dimitri and I being known wasn't much of a problem any more. "He never admitted it, of course, but it is weird seeing you act that way around each other."

I hadn't even realised what I'd been saying or implying to him, I'd been too focused on getting Christian back. "Oh, yeah, sorry." I flushed. I knew Tasha liked Dimitri.

She waved me off. "I've never seen him jealous before." She chuckled.

I gave her a small smile. "You should have seen him when I first talked to Adrian."

She grinned at me, before it dimmed slightly. "Why did he accept my offer? Does he ever plan on being with me, or was it just a get-out?"

My eyes widened at the honesty of her question. "You'll be together." I answered eventually. "You have everything that he wants. I know he likes you, he thinks you're beautiful, and he wants children." It was all true. "I think he used you as a get out originally, but the more time he spends away from me, the less he'll care about me and he already likes you, I'm sure. He's probably only not with you because he feels guilty."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I'm not offended." She replied frankly. "It's what I'd suspected and his company is welcome even if it's not exactly what I want."

"Me and Dimitri will never work." I told her bluntly. "We both know it. This couple of weeks, it's definitely going to be the last time we're like this." I could tell. "I don't want to do it again." I wasn't sure if that was because of Christian, or just because I didn't want to go through the pain of him leaving every time. "We'll be over for good after this."

She looked mildly surprised. "Does Dimka know that?"

I shrugged. "I think so. I wouldn't be surprised if you were together by the time we're going to Europe. I don't think seeing me again has been as great as he thought it was going to be." We might not have argued, but I knew it hadn't been as good. Or maybe it just hadn't been like I'd wanted it to be. The other thing that had been a serious concern for me was how my sex with Christian had been better. The only thing Dimitri and I had really done when we saw each other was fuck, if that wasn't even that good, then what was the point? We didn't have a real relationship any more, not like we used to.

The door opened then and we lapsed into silence as guardians filed out. Dimitri was last to come out, Alberta with him. "So?" I inquired, looking up at him hopefully.

"We're going on a rescue mission." He confirmed, a small smile on his face.

I grinned. "I'm coming." I stated suddenly, Dimitri might not have included that in his persuasion talk.

"Me too." Tasha immediately chimed in. "We can both help. You all saw what Christian and Rose did with the help of his magic."

Dimitri opened his mouth to speak, but Alberta nodded. "They saved my life." She agreed. "You can both come, but at your own risk." Then she scratched her head. "Any Moroi who have some offensive knowledge that you can convince to come are welcome. But they do so at their own risk. No special treatment."

Tasha nodded curtly before excusing herself. She had talks to go and make.

I felt a sudden rush of joy through the bond. When I checked in with Lissa I realised that she had gone to the infirmary to heal people. I couldn't help my smile. It was distracting her and cheering her up slightly – helping people was what she liked best.

"Rose?" Dimitri's soft voice brought me back to my own thoughts. "It's going to be a few hours until we're going. You should get some rest, or spend some time with Liss, or Adrian, or Eddie. I have to go help prepare." He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry for being selfish, it was ridiculous of me to even think of not proposing the rescue mission."

"It's fine." I assured him. "I understand." Then I paused slightly. "Please don't let Eddie come." I muttered. "I don't want him to get hurt and I want him to stay with Liss. She'll feel better if he's there."

Dimitri nodded. "I can manage that. None of the novices other than you will come. That'll sort that out."

"Okay." We parted ways then and I headed towards the infirmary. I had to tell Lissa what we were going to do.

Lissa removed her hand from a young Moroi who was gazing at her, amazed at the magic she could perform. "Hi Rose." Her voice was tired and dejected. "Any news?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "We're going on a rescue mission." I announced. I didn't want to sound too happy, there was already a chance that Christian had already been snacked on, or that we couldn't save him at all, but I tried not to think about that. I'd already let myself become optimistic.

Lissa beamed, but then her smile faltered. "You're going?" She asked, eyes wide.

"Yes." I responded immediately.

"Please don't." She begged. "You don't need to go, we have plenty of guardians. Stay here. I can't lose both of you."

She was desperate through the bond and I almost gave in. She was right, if I did end up not making it back from the mission then she have no one. Eventually, I shook my head. "I have to." I stated seriously. "Christian saved my life. I have to go and help save his. I'm sorry Liss."

She was slightly shocked that I hadn't done as she'd said, but forced herself to nod. "Please be okay."

"I will be." I promised, though obviously I couldn't give her any real assurance. "And don't use too much magic." I warned her. "It'll tire you out and there'll be more people coming with more serious injuries."

"Okay." She knew I was right. "I think I'm going to try and sleep. Is Eddie going with you?"

I shook my head. "All the novices are to stay here since most of the guardians are leaving campus."

"I'll go and sit with him." She decided. "He's probably feeling miserable. He didn't want to be all cooped up whilst the fighting was going off, but no one would let him out. Same with Tasha."

"I'll come with you until we have to leave. It'll be a couple of hours yet." I grimaced. Just more time for the Strigoi to start snacking on people. We needed to hurry up. There couldn't be that much that needed doing.

Liss and I found Adrian, who was trying his best to heal minor wounds, and then traipsed to Eddie's room. Eddie was laying on his bed and I first I thought he might have been asleep, instead he was just staring blankly at his ceiling. Everyone was supposed to be in their rooms, we were only the exception because of how involved I was and because of Adrian and Lissa's magic.

"Hey." I greeted him sullenly, setting myself down in the only chair in the room and pulling my legs up to my chest so that I could rest my head on them.

I turned away from everyone in the room and chose to stare at the wall whilst ignoring their conversation. I let my mind wander and of course it went immediately to Christian.

I thought back to when we'd been dancing at the ball. It'd been one of those moments where there'd only been us in the room. We'd never broken eye contact, his fingers had bit into my waist pleasantly and I'd played with his hair. Anyone who'd looked would've been able to see how absorbed in each other we were.

I felt the tears gathering in my eyes and let out a small sigh. I felt completely empty. I didn't even dare to think about the possibility that it might already be too late. The idea of Christian being really gone cut through me like a knife and a drop of water fell from the end of my nose.

A hand on my shoulder made me jump and I hastily wiped my eyes, turning around and meeting Adrian's sad green eyes. "Are you okay, Rose?" He asked gently. "Your aura is even blacker than normal." He lowered his voice considerably. "You look more upset than Lissa."

I glanced over at her with that remark and checked the bond. She was devastated of course, and was staring into space just as I was. She wasn't crying though, she was too exhausted. "She's upset." I assured Adrian in the same low tone. "I'm just worried. I just want to go, right now, and do as much as I can. I don't like sitting around waiting."

He nodded. "I know." He acknowledged, giving me the calculating glance that told me he was checking my aura. "It'll be okay."

I grimaced. I just desperately hoped he was right.


	16. Chapter 16

**_I'm back to updating on time! :D Thanks to my new reviewer, I'm honored this is the first time you've reviewed! This chapter is one of my favs :') Pls review thank you all :D Also, my traffic stats viewer isn't loading, does anyone know if this is just me, or a site problem? I love looking at my reads :(_**

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_Chapter Sixteen_

I glowered at Dimitri and Alberta. "You can't seriously expect me to stay up here." We were currently at the entrance to the tunnels. Some guardians had already entered with the few Moroi that had volunteered to help. "I have to help. Actually help."

"Rose, you will be helping." Dimitri assured me. "Right now, all you're doing is slowing us down."

With that I was forced to hold my tongue. "Go." I stated, putting my stake back in its sheath and standing beside Yuri and Celeste. We had to wait at the entrance, just in case anything started going wrong.

I knew that Dimitri was just looking out for me and that really it was the best place for me, but knowing I was this close to Christian, it was so hard to not disobey and just charge in after them.

I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to distract myself. My eyes flitted between the entrance I was currently stood at and the other one, which was a couple of hundred metres away.

It seemed like forever before anyone emerged from either of the two holes. It was Alberta who came staggering out of mine and gestured for Celeste to swap with her. She was battered and bruised, but otherwise looked healthy, she was just exhausted.

"How is it?" I asked her seriously, still paying most of my attention to the entrances.

"Dark." She commented. "And crowded."

A figure walking out of the hole on the other side captured my attention, but it was a blonde Moroi and my hope sagged.

A few more emerged from the two exits over the next fifteen minutes. Most of them were walking and seemed relatively unharmed. The Moroi were directed back to campus – there were people waiting within the wards to make sure they were okay.

My eyes widened when I saw a body being carried out on one of the few stretchers that the guardians had brought. The mop of black hair was Christian's distinguishing feature and I sent Alberta a panicked glance.

She simply nodded at me and I immediately sprinted as fast as my legs would carry me towards him. It was two guardians who I didn't know that carried the stretcher so I just ignored them.

"Christian." I breathed his name as I walked beside him, my hand instantly finding his and clasping it tightly. My heart lifted as his eyes cracked open and squinted against the bright light.

"Rose, you came for me." His voice was weak and I squeezed his hand, if possible, tighter.

"Of course I did." I whispered back, unsure whether to be overjoyed or scared by how feeble he sounded.

He wormed his hand out of my grasp and reached out to touch my face. "I've never seen you cry." I touched my own face then, I hadn't even realised that tears had been falling.

I gave him a watery smile. "I'm so glad you're okay." I replied, taking his hand in mine, more gently this time.

We walked in silence until we got nearer the campus. "I'm going to fetch Liss, to heal you." I told him seriously before checking the bond and darting towards the infirmary. She was waiting there for anyone who was seriously injured.

"Liss." I called as soon as I was within earshot. "Liss, we found Christian."

She was immediately beside me and was surprised at my tear-streaked face. "Is he okay?" She demanded, taking my tears to mean bad news.

"Yes, he's fine." I assured her. "Well, alive, but you need to heal him." I explained, dragging her towards where I knew he was coming.

I saw the stretcher carrying Christian and gestured to Liss, who was so full of relief she almost stumbled trying to reach Christian quickly. "You're okay." She gasped, her hand immediately flying to his cheek. The magic flowed through the bond and she grinned at him.

He gave her a small smile back, but was still incredibly pale and looked exhausted. The guardians carried him the rest of the way and helped him in a hospital bed in one of the booths, away from the less injured patients.

Liss wrapped her arms around him as soon as the guardians had gone and gave him a long kiss, I glanced away when their lips met. "I was so worried." She whispered gently, moving to kiss his forehead. "You have no idea."

He smiled at her. "I'm fine." His words were weak, though.

After another kiss, Liss's smile dimmed slightly. "I have to go and heal, but I'll come and see you as soon as I can." She promised, before disappearing out of the door.

Now that we were alone, I didn't hesitate to fling myself at Christian, uncaring of how tired he might be, and wrap my arms tightly around his neck. Burying my face into him, I let out a long breath of relief.

Christian didn't hesitate in returning the gesture and his arms were so tight I could barely breath. "I can't believe you're alive." My voice was so quiet I was surprised he heard me, but he nodded softly against my hair.

"Of course I am." I knew he'd probably intended it to be a joke, but his voice was too exhausted and I pulled back to look at him, my hand cupping his cheek gently.

"Are you okay?" I checked, biting my lip softly as I studied his face. He was incredibly pale.

"I just haven't eaten for a long time." He admitted.

I almost slapped my forehead as realisation hit me. "I'll go and ask Dr. Olendzki if there are any feeders."

I went in search of Dr. Olendzki. After checking the bond, I realised that Lissa had moved towards the wards so that she could heal people quicker. Dr. Olendzki was leaning over a patient and I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for her to finish. I just want to see Christian looking back to normal and genuinely okay again – I knew the blood would probably do that.

"Yes, Rose?" She inquired once she'd finished her inspection. "Is Christian okay?"

I nodded. "Liss has healed him." I assured her. "But are there any feeders?"

She glanced around and then shook her head. "All the ones that have been sent over have been bitten more than enough already." She confessed, appearing slightly guilty. "You'll have to go and get someone from the cafeteria."

I sighed and headed back through to Christian. His eyes were closed, but opened and met mine when I opened the door to his individual room. He gave me a puzzled glance and I shrugged. "Dr. Olendzki says I have to get one from the cafeteria." I explained, before pausing, and moving my hair to the side. "You can bite me, if you want." I flushed at what I was suggesting and so did Christian, his eyes widening considerably. "You're so pale and I just want you to be okay again, they'll be really awkward with me if I go and ask for a feeder and it'll take forever."

I sat back down in the chair beside him and he nodded slowly. "You're sure?" He checked, his hand making its way towards me and weaving through my hair.

"Yes." I replied immediately.

I couldn't help but admit I was slightly excited to be bit again. It had been so long, but that wasn't the main reason I had offered. I was just so desperate to know that Christian was completely fine, so that I could stop feeling sick with worry and relax a bit.

I held my breath as I felt Christian's lips on my throat, but it was to give me a gentle kiss, before he sank his fangs in. I gasped at the sharp pain, but quickly relaxed as the endorphins hit me. Holding back a small whimper, I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly. I really didn't want to embarrass myself.

Christian pulled back after a few moments and gave my neck another kiss before leaning back in his bed. When I glanced up at him the colour was back in his cheeks and he looked almost back to normal.

I grinned lazily, party due to the endorphins, and he chuckled. "You look okay again." I smiled at him, incredibly happy that he was back to normal.

"I feel fine now." He assured me. "Just tired. I think I'm going to try and sleep."

I nodded. "Me too." I agreed. We were normally in bed at this time.

I laced my fingers through his boldly and rested my head on top of our conjoining hands. As much as I wished I was able to just sit on the bed with him, this was almost good enough.

* * *

"Rose?" My name and a gentle nudge on the shoulder was what brought me out of my slumber.

Glancing up, I squinted at the light and then gave Dimitri a small smile, Tasha was standing next to him.

"Can we go outside a moment?"

I nodded, still waking up, but when I tried to move my head I realised something was holding me down. Christian's hand which I wasn't holding had wrapped itself in my hair and I couldn't help give a small smile as I tried to remove it without waking him up. Then I unlaced my hand from his and followed Dimitri and Tasha outside.

Dimitri opened his mouth to say something, but then he stopped when his eyes caught the wound on my neck. I flushed and quickly moved my hair over it. "I was panicking, okay?" I immediately spoke, averting my eyes. "Dr. Olendzki said I'd have had to go to the dinner hall and they'd have taken ages and Christian looked so pale."

He sighed but waved me off. "It's fine, I understand."

"How is he?" Tasha demanded, interrupting whatever Dimitri might have said.

"He's fine." I assured her. "Liss healed him as soon as he was through the wards. He's just tired."

She nodded in relief. "I'm so glad."

I allowed myself a small smile. "Me too. So's Liss." I reminded myself that I wasn't supposed to be the one who cared most about his recovery. I checked them over, then. "Are you guys okay? Was the rescue a success overall?"

Tasha grinned. "Absolutely." She assured me. "We only lost one guardian and rescued all the Moroi. Two were already dead when we got there, but overall the results were amazing."

I laughed. Everything had actually turned out okay. "That's great."

"Let's go in and see him." She decided, opening the door and making her way inside the room. "He'll wake up eventually."

We followed her and I retook my seat. Tasha and Dimitri left soon after to find chairs of their own.

Lifting my knees up to my chest, I rested my head on them and watched Christian's chest rising and falling slowly. Dimitri and Tasha returned shortly after with Lissa in tow.

Elation filled Liss as she took in Christian's now healthy face. She grinned at me and placed a gentle had on Christian's shoulder. "I can't believe how normal he looks." She breathed in a whisper, conscious not to be too loud and wake him. Then she smiled at me, before reaching forwards and touching the wound on my neck. I flinched as she healed me, but Liss didn't mind. She understood the situation from how we'd been.

"Thanks." I said gently, returning to my studying of Christian's calm face.

We all sat in silence, waiting for him to wake up, but Dr. Olendzki walking through the door was what finally made Christian's eyes flicker open.

They immediately met mine, but I supposed that was because he knew where I'd been sitting. He studied everyone in the room, though, and gave Tasha the biggest smile. "Hey." He smiled slightly, but he still had large bags under his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Olendzki asked, checking him over and nodding as she went.

"I feel fine." He assured her. "Liss did a good job. I'm just tired, now."

"Of course." Then she turned to Lissa. "You've been amazing, thank you."

Liss beamed. "I'm so glad to have helped."

The doctor returned her attention to Christian. "You can leave, you'll sleep better in your own bed." She decided. "I hope you're feeling better in the morning."

With that, she exited the room and Christian sat up, checking his movement before standing and stretching his arms above his head. "Let's go." He stated, making the first move to open the door and lead us away from the infirmary.

Liss was immediately by his side and had linked her hand through his. "I wish I could stay with you tonight." She complained. "But Kirova was really serious when she said that everyone had to be in their own rooms." Liss was pouting and I could feel the disappointment flowing through the bond. "At least Rose will be there, though." She supposed. "You won't be alone."

"I think alone might be an improvement." Christian teased, smirking at me.

I scowled. "Well the field experience will be over soon enough."

It was the only comeback I could think of, but the truth of the statement his me harder than I thought it would. I'd gotten used to spending all my time with Christian and I'd also got used to Liss spending barely any of her time with Christian. It was going to be really strange when things went back to normal, though I guessed that would mean mine and Christian's relationship going to back to how it was before, too.

Christian didn't reply and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing.

When we reached the point where Christian and I had to turn off into the boy's dormitories, Lissa gave him a long and drawn out kiss. It was bad enough considering the situation, but even Tasha looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm so glad you're okay." She whispered gently. "I love you Christian."

Christian smiled, but he was almost awkward in his response. "Love you too, Liss." He rushed out the words and turned to Tasha. Liss was oblivious to the way he'd acted, but I could see Tasha's slight questioning in her glance. "You're not staying in the cabin, are you?" He checked. "It's still dangerous."

Tasha shook her head. "No, I'm having to stay in Dimitri's room."

Three pairs of eyes flicked to mine then, forcing me to grimace, as we the expected reaction. I didn't really mind, though, everything I'd said to Tasha was true. I was jealous and I still care for Dimitri, only it wasn't the same. I had accepted the fact that we weren't going to be together. And for some reason, I wasn't too bothered.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Thanks a lot for the reviews guys! Really glad you're all still enjoying the story :) I'm going back to school soon, so updates might start being every two days instead of every day, but I think that's still pretty regular! Review plsplspls xxxx _**

* * *

_Chapter Seventeen_

Christian and I walked back to his room in silence and I disappeared into the bathroom to get changed into my pyjamas after he'd unlocked the door.

I ran a hand through my hair and glanced in the mirror. I hadn't realised I looked almost as exhausted as Christian did. My make-up was still smudged a bit from my crying and I removed it entirely.

Christian was in sat up in his bed when I returned to the main room and I didn't hesitate to join him in it. We wouldn't have sex tonight, I just wanted to be close to him. Christian being taken had really shaken me up.

I received a small smile when I sat down beside him and Christian wasted no time in grabbing hold of my legs and putting them in his lap so that I could snuggle easily into his side. One of my hands went round his back whilst the other rested on his stomach. My lips curled up as we watched each other.

"Are you not bothered?" Christian asked slowly.

I frowned. "By what?"

Christian chuckled. "Dimitri and Tasha."

"Oh, erm, not really." I admitted. "I don't care."

Christian was shocked by my response, but he dropped the subject. "Who's idea was the rescue mission? I didn't think the guardians would agree to anything like that."

"Mine." I replied.

Christian looked surprised again. "So it really was you who came after me."

I grinned. "I guess so." My grip on him tightened slightly. "I'm sorry I let you get taken." I whispered, shutting my eyes momentarily.

I opened them when a hand was placed on my cheek. "Rose, please don't blame yourself." His voice was deadly serious. "Even if you hadn't managed to rescue me, it would have been for the greater good and you know it. And there was nothing you could have done to save me. They singled us out. Three came for me whilst the three were on you. I lit yours up so you could get away. I was just glad you were alright."

My eyes widened in surprise. "You sacrificed yourself for me."

He chuckled. "Not exactly. I was never going to get away, I just made it so that you could."

I reached forward and gave him a gentle kiss. "Thank you."

We shared a small smile. "Thank you for coming to save me." He replied, giving me a short kiss on the lips.

I grinned and buried my face into his side. I couldn't believe how close I'd been to never seeing Christian again. "What happened to you in there?" I asked him, my hand beginning to trace small patterns on his stomach through his shirt. "Why were so much more beat up than everyone else?"

He sighed. "They offered me the chance to turn Strigoi." He explained. "I refused in a particularly impolite way. They broke a few of my ribs, and my leg, I think, and said they'd eat me last so I had to watch all my friends die."

His fists were clenched by the end and I moved hand to smooth out his fingers, then lacing mine through them. "I had no idea they'd do anything like that." Not that I should have been surprised, after what had happened in Spokane. "I'm sorry."

He rested his chin on my head. "It's okay." His voice was shallow. "At least I'm here now."

"I almost threw up when I saw them carrying you off." I admitted, surprising myself slightly. I hadn't wanted to tell Christian just how scared I'd been.

He gave me a gentle squeeze. "That's how I felt when that Strigoi had you in the gym." He shivered. "It's okay, though," he whispered gently. "Let's just go to sleep. It'll be better in the morning."

I nodded and we moved from the sitting position to one where Christian was spooning me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, our legs intertwined. He gave me a quick kiss on the neck. "Goodnight Rose."

"Night, Christian."

I recognised my surroundings instantly. I was in Spokane. A sharp tug on my hair reminded me that Isaiah had a hold of me. "You want a bite, girl?" He was demanding. "You want to be a blood whore?"

My eyes dashed to the right, where I knew Elena was about to speak. I ignored her. She wasn't important. Instead, my eyes glued themselves to the door. I knew who was going to be there before he even appeared. "Rose." Christian gasped my name as he took in the scene around him. He was pale, and I stared at him helplessly.

"Please don't do this Christian." I begged, watching as he raised the gun that I'd dropped. "Christian." I whispered his name as he emptied the clip into Isaiah's chest, simply annoying the Strigoi even more.

"I have to try and save you Rose." He whispered, his blue eyes boring into mine as he raised his hands, flames glistening on them. He couldn't take them both on, though. He was weak, he'd been deprived of blood.

"No." I screamed out as Christian entered the room and lit Elena up. He didn't even get time to kill her, though, before Isaiah had released me and grabbed hold of Christian, twisting his head without hesitation.

I screamed. "Christian." I cried, shrieking as I flung myself towards his body. "Christian."

Isaiah didn't lunge for me like I'd expected, though, instead he began to shake my shoulders repeatedly. I was puzzled until my vision began to blur and was replaced by the darkness of a room.

Christian's eyes met mine and he stopped shaking my shoulder, choosing to rest a hand on my cheek instead. "It's okay Rose." He whispered, whilst I was still trying to shake myself out of it.

"Sorry." My voice cracked slightly and I scrubbed my eyes to try and stop them stinging. "I had a bad dream."

"I know." He replied, wrapping his arms around me again and allowing me to rest my head on his chest. "Do you want to tell me?"

I paused. "I was in Spokane, only you came back for me instead of Mason." I explained. "And then Isaiah snapped your neck." I suspected I'd been shouting Christian's name out loud and so there no need to tell him about that part.

"I'm fine, Rose, I'm right here." His voice was soothing and I balled my hands in his shirt to comfort myself further. "Nothing is going to happen to me."

"It'd better not." I responded, sighing as the images from my dream began to fade.

Christian gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. "I didn't realise you cared so much." His comment was almost teasing, but there was a genuine question in it.

I couldn't meet his eyes when I answered. "Of course I do. More than I'm supposed to, I think."

Christian moved a finger underneath my chin and lifted my head so that I was forced to face him. I flushed, though he probably couldn't see it in the semi-darkness. "I care about you too." His head dipped and our lips met in a heated kiss. "A lot."

We kissed again, but both knew to pull away this time. I returned to being snuggled into Christian's chest, my heart soaring with his confession. It didn't mean anything, really, and nothing could happen from it, of course. But, right now, I was happy to bask in the knowledge that my feelings were returned.

A knock on the door was what brought me out of my peaceful slumber. Christian didn't wake up and so I tried not to disturb his as I clambered out of the bed and opened the door. I was surprised to see Dimitri standing on the other side.

"Oh, hi comrade." I greeted him, running a hand through my hair and letting out a yawn. "What's up?"

"Can we talk?" He asked, glancing to the side, even though the door was in the way and he couldn't see into the bedroom like I knew he was trying to. "In private, I mean."

"Sure." I agreed, my mind racing as to what this conversation could be about. I supposed it was about us. Dimitri was leaving tomorrow. "Just give me a couple of minutes to get changed."

Dimitri gave me a curt not and I disappeared into the bathroom, pulling on my training clothes and then cleaning my teeth. "Ready?"

"I just need to leave Christian a note or something." I began rummaging about trying to find some paper.

"Just go." Christian's groggy voice told me from the bed. "I'm going back to sleep."

I chuckled and left, following Dimitri towards the gym.

When we got there, he pulled up two chairs at the side of the room and gestured for me to sit down.

"What's up?" I inquired.

He sighed and regarded me seriously. "I want you to tell me what's going on between you and Christian."

I blanched. "I-"

"No, Rose." He interrupted me, fixing me with an exasperated stare. "Just tell me. I'm not going to tell anyone, you know that you can trust me. I want to help."

I cast my eyes downwards. Dimitri was right, I could trust him and I supposed I really did need some advice. Dimitri was my mentor and when I looked at him, I knew he really did want to help. "Okay." I agreed.

He gave me a small smile, though I could see the pain in his expression. He didn't really want to hear about how the girl he loved was into someone else, but he cared enough to want to help. Plus he was probably insanely curious and shocked that it had happened: Christian and I were never exactly close. "Just start from the beginning."

I nodded. "Well, it just kind of happened." I flushed as the images of our first encounter filled my mind. "We were training, it was a few days before the field experience, and Christian beat me. And he was straddling me and it just happened." I repeated. Dimitri's eyes were wide. "We fucked in the store room." I told him blatantly, hanging my head in shame.

Understanding flashed over Dimitri's face, he now knew why I hadn't had sex with him the first time.

"Then we kept having little moments." I admitted. "Like when I slept in his bed because I'd had a nightmare, and that morning when you walked in on us training." I supposed Dimitri would know the morning I meant. "I was so sure that it was just sexual attraction though, which made it a bit more bearable. We didn't do anything else until the night of the ball."

"Yeah," Dimitri spoke. "I could have guessed."

I blushed. "I'm really sorry for saying that stuff to you, by the way." I apologised. "I was really drunk and Christian and I, we were just, I don't know." I averted my eyes. "We were just completely absorbed by each other. I don't know why it happens. But we had sex that night."

Dimitri was listening, his guardian mask in full force as I explained the details of my relationship with Christian.

"I suppose that was when I should have realised it was about more than just sex between us. We laid and cuddled and stuff, but I just put it down to being drunk. It wasn't until the Strigoi attack that I realised how much I cared." I stumbled over the words and sighed. "We talked about it last night. We admitted that we cared about each other more than we should." I ran a hand through my hair. "What do I do now?"

"I don't know Roza." He confessed after a few moments. "I suppose the field experience will be over soon, then there's no real reason it should happen again."

"That's what I thought." I agreed, pleased I had been rational in my conclusion.

"Maybe you should stop training together."

I gasped. "But," then I weighed it up. I suppose he was right. That was how it had started. "I suppose Christian doesn't really need the physical stuff anyway. His magic is so strong."

"Exactly." Dimitri said, his guardian mask slipping a little. "How is his relationship with Liss?"

I paused. I hadn't even considered what his feelings towards Liss were after all this. I'd been too concerned about our feelings for each other. "I don't know." I admitted. "They haven't really been spending much time together because of the field experience. I guess things will change then, too. He'll probably remember how much he loves Liss and that'll be the end of it."

"Maybe." Dimitri replied, making me bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself flinching. I'd really let myself have feelings towards Christian, but he'd probably just passed his feelings for Liss onto me by accident since they weren't seeing each other as often. "You just have to try your best to stay away from each other. The whole situation is unfair on Lissa."

"I know." I responded. "I can't believe all of this has happened. I can barely look at her any more."

Dimitri gave me a sad smile. "It'll get easier." He assured me. "You'll meet someone new at court." He chuckled slightly. "You might finally meet someone you can actually be with."

I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. "How did this happen again?" I complained with a scowl. "I can't believe it."

Surprising me slightly, Dimitri leant forward and pulled me into a gentle hug. "You're extremely unlucky Roza."

I hugged him back tightly. "I'm sorry this two weeks didn't go as planned. I'm glad I got to see you again, though, and I do still love you, of course."

"I love you too." Dimitri replied instantly. "And I'm glad we got to spend this time together. It's helped me move on."

"At least you've moved on to someone you can be with." I let out a wistful breath. "I'm happy for you, though."

"Thank you."

I realised we were still hugging then and pulled back, hesitating only slightly before giving Dimitri a lingering kiss. "Thanks for listening to me."

"Any time." Dimitri assured me. "But come on, we should go."

"Yeah." I agreed. "I think I need to go and talk to Christian."


	18. Chapter 18

**_I surprised myself a little bit with the end of this chapter, but I'm sure it'll turn out fine ;D Thanks a lot for the reviews! They're always inspirational. I also got tumblr if anyone has it. .com :D_**

* * *

_Chapter Eighteen_

When I got back to Christian's room, I crawled back into bed with him and he immediately wrapped his arms around me, not bothering to open his eyes, though I knew he was awake.

"What did Dimitri want?" Christian inquired, his fingers tracing patterns on my back where he'd lifted my shirt up a bit.

"To know what was going on between us."

"What did you tell him?"

"Everything." Christian's hand stilled and his eyes flickered open in surprise.

"Really?" He asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at me.

"Yeah." I admitted with a shrug. "I trust Dimitri, he wouldn't tell anyone. And I think it helped him a bit, anyway. He said he'd be able to move on."

"Oh," Christian was genuinely shocked. "So, what did he say about it all."

"He said that it'd probably be easier when the field experience was over." I decided not to mention his comments about Lissa. "He said maybe we should stop training."

Christian's face fell. "Do you really think that's necessary?" He asked. "I mean, nothing has even happened in training for ages."

"I think we can still train." I replied instantly. "You're right. Things have only happened in, like, rare circumstances." I decided. "Strigoi attacks don't happen every day and neither do big Moroi balls and after parties."

"Exactly." Christian agreed. "I mean, if something does happen, then we'll stop." He compromised.

"Sounds fair enough."

The irony of us having this conversation about us staying away from each other whilst we laid in each other arms wasn't lost on me, but there was no point in mentioning it. This would likely be the last time I'd be this close to Christian, I wasn't going to ruin that.

"We should probably get up." Christian commented a few minutes later, his arms still holding me just as tight as they had before. "I have lessons soon."

I smiled up at him and was overcome by the desire to give him a final kiss. Biting my lip, I averted my eyes and managed to make myself stand up. I'd seen Christian wanted it too, but this had to be the proper start of avoiding each other.

I was standing on the back wall of Christian's classroom when Alberta marched into the classroom. She glanced at his teacher. "May I address the class?" She checked. The Moroi nodded. "We're extending the field experience for another week." She revealed, causing whispers to break out around the class. "We feel that in light of the recent activities it will help to keep safety levels high until we can," she paused and stumbled over her words slightly. "Get our guardian numbers back up to where they were."

The whispers ceased with that reminder and Alberta turned directly to me. "Rose, can I speak with you for a moment, please?"

I nodded and followed her outside, ignoring the curious glances I was getting. "What's up?"

"Because of the Strigoi attack, I was going to offer you the opportunity to swap Moroi. You can guard Lissa for this week, if you'd like."

My eyes widened. Then I hesitated. I was on the verge of accepting, but then I averted my eyes. Realistically, there wasn't going to be another attack on the Academy. We'd killed almost all of the Strigoi and security would be extra tight from now until graduation. Besides, even if there was an attack, Christian would fight, without hesitation. I wanted to be there to try and protect him, no matter what. If Lissa was in trouble, which she most likely wouldn't be, I would be able to sense it and get to her.

"I think I'll stick with Christian." I answered her after a long pause. "Or, wait, you haven't mentioned this to anyone, have you?" If she'd already told Liss then I'd have to accept the swap.

She shook her head. "No, I thought you might stay with Christian, anyway, because of the training." She admitted. "It's a much better arrangement whilst you're at the Academy."

I nodded. "Exactly." I lied. I hadn't even thought about that.

"The molnija ceremony will be held today, before most of the royals go home." She explained. "You and Christian will both receive marks. Be at the gym when your last lesson would normally be."

"Okay, thanks Alberta." I re-entered the room and Christian's eyes lingered on me for a moment before returning to whatever his teacher was writing on the board.

"What was that about?" He inquired when the lesson was over.

"She was just letting me know that we're missing last lesson to get tattooed." I decided there was no point mentioning what she'd offered. Christian might have thought I should have accepted it.

"Oh wow, I'd completely forgotten about that." He admitted. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah." I told him with a chuckle. "But it's not so bad. Mainly just whilst it's happening. Try not to cry." I advised with a smirk.

He shook his head and laughed. "Right."

When we did get to the gym later that afternoon all the guardians were there, as was Tasha, who'd presumably killed when she went on the rescue mission. We were called up one by one. Christian and I went last since we had a special mark. Although we knew Christian had only really killed one by himself, he'd been a big factor in the deaths of more than we could count.

The mark we received was a small star. I'd forgotten the name of it already, it was hard to say, but it sat next to the two molnija marks I already had and signified that I killed 'many' Strigoi in battle.

Christian flinched many times throughout his tattooing, but his eyes remained either on mine or closed. I couldn't help but grin at him. I was insanely impressed by what we'd managed to achieve and also that Christian came back to me alive and well in the end.

After the ceremony many people came to congratulate Christian, who was stood with me, his Aunt and Dimitri. I got congratulations too, but I was sure Christian was probably the first Moroi with a molnija – especially the star one – they'd ever seen. Tasha, Dimitri and I also got smiles and impressed comments.

"Well that was exhausting." He commented when people in the room started to disperse.

"I see my stamina training hasn't been too effective." I replied with a smirk.

He shook his head, but then grinned at me. "You're proud of me really."

I was about to make a witty remark, but then my face softened slightly. "Yeah, maybe a little." I teased.

Christian chuckled and pulled me into a gentle hug. Tasha and Dimitri were still there, but I ignored them and wrapped my arms tightly him anyway. We stood like that for a good few minutes before pulling away, beaming at each other.

"Let's go find those guys, they'll probably want to see our bandages." Christian said with a chuckle. "Are you coming?" He directed this to Dimitri and Tasha, who were talking between themselves and didn't appear like they were paying us too much attention.

"Sure." Tasha agreed. She'd already told Christian just how proud of him she was. There'd been tears in her eyes whilst he received his mark. It'd been her training that had made him so brilliant, not mine.

Round the table in the cafeteria, I mused on the things that had happened in the last two weeks. I wasn't really listening to the conversation. I'd decided that Dimitri and I weren't going to work. I'd finally let go of that crazy hope and begun to cling onto another. Christian and I were even more unrealistic, sadly, but he was the one I thought about now and I wasn't sure there was anything I could do about it. I was just going to have to wait it out and hope someone else came along, someone who was actually available.

I watched Lissa, with almost sad eyes, as she fussed around Christian, the joy spreading through her as they gave each other small, romantic gestures. Christian himself looked completely absorbed in her and the jealousy spread through me. Dimitri had been right, of course. It was obvious that they were in love as I watched them.

"Hey Liss." I waited for a lull in the conversation. "Can I see you tonight? We haven't spent any time together recently." It was true. I still felt incredibly guilty, but I realised that there was something I had to tell her.

"Sure." She agreed, beaming. She missed spending time with me just as much as seeing Christian. "We can go to my room after I've finished eating. I'm sure the guardians won't mind if Christian and I swap partners for a few hours."

I nodded. "Cool."

* * *

Lissa was grinning all the way back to her room. "It really is ages since we've spent time together properly." She commented, unlocking her door. "I miss the days when it was just us and we'd spend all our time together." She sighed wistfully.

"Me too." I agreed, then paused, hanging my head slightly. "Liss, I have to tell you something." I finally confessed. "But please don't be mad. At least let me tell you everything first."

Surprise coursed through the bond and she fixed me with a wary look. Thoughts were racing through her mind, but they were too fast for me to distinguish them. I sat on the bed and thought over what I could say for a few minutes.

"You know how you said you thought I'd lost interest in boys. Well, I hadn't." I admitted. "I, had, erm, fallen for someone."

Her eyes widened significantly and she took a seat on the bed, staring at me expectantly. "Who?" She demanded.

"Dimitri." His name wasn't what she'd expected and she gasped.

"Dimitri?" She repeated, gesturing for me to carry on with my tale.

I explained to her all the feelings we'd shared and the moments. "That's why he left to guard Tasha." I was surprised by how little my chest was hurting, telling this to Liss. I realised that I should have told her a lot sooner. She would have been able to help me when I really was feeling down. "We could never been together, we would have just kept falling more and more in love with each other and that couldn't happen."

Lissa gave me a sad smile. "I had no idea." Her feelings were riddled with hurt at me for not telling her, sadness for my situation and just overall shock. "So what's happened the last two weeks. You haven't seemed as miserable. I thought seeing him again would have made you sad."

"I, er, slept with Dimitri." I confessed.

She squealed slightly. "Oh my goodness, Rose. You finally lost your virginity! Oh, that's so romantic." Then she stopped. "Well, I suppose not, but kind of?" She hoped.

I laughed, though a lash of guilt whipped at me. It wasn't Dimitri that I'd lost my virginity too and it certainly hadn't been romantic. It had been rough, passionate and unforgettable. "Yeah." I agreed. "It's weird, actually." I admitted. "I think I can finally get over him."

Lissa raised a surprised eyebrow. "I thought it would make you more attached. I felt a lot closer to Christian when we'd, well, you know."

I did know and I tried not to flinch. "Yeah," I considered my words. "I don't really know why. It's like we realised that it wasn't ever going to work. I bigged up these two weeks so much, but then they just weren't what I was expecting. We had a lot of sex, but the relationship had changed. I don't know!" I exclaimed. "It was just different."

It was then that I understood how much of an impact my feelings for Christian had had. I'd just stopped wanting to spend time with Dimitri. Christian's company and our physical contact had just been better. I sighed mentally. It would have been easier to just still be in love with Dimitri.

"It's okay." Liss assured me gently. "I mean, I don't really get it, I've never been in a situation like that." Then she sighed. "Why didn't you just tell me before? Or even when he left."

"I don't know. It was just so hard to talk about, it was so painful. Especially when you and Christian are so perfect." Guilt flooded through her and I shook my head. "It's not your fault at all, I was just jealous. I couldn't tell anyone about it. Adrian knew, but only because he overheard us talking at the ski lodge." I couldn't really tell her that Christian knew, it would cause an argument between them, probably.

"Wow." Liss breathed out. "This is so much, I had no idea you were going through so much."

"I wish I'd told you sooner." I told her seriously. "I just holed myself up, but you really could have helped." Shame ran through me. Maybe Christian and I never would have had sex in the gym that time if I'd been in a different mindset. It could have all been completely different.

She leant forward and embraced me in a big hug. "Oh Rose." Sympathy was laced in her voice and the shame intensified. I didn't deserve her help. I'd been a terrible friend. In fact, I'd just been a completely terrible person overall since Dimitri left. My heart constricted in my chest. I shouldn't have told Liss about this. I should have kept all of my feelings locked away until they disappeared. I didn't deserve comfort and consolation.

The smile I gave her when she pulled back was small. "I think I'm gonna go and sleep." I told her seriously. "It's been a tiring few days."

Worry coursed through the bond, but I couldn't bring myself to smile any bigger.

"Thanks for not being angry at me."

My heart seemed to suddenly weigh ten times more than it should. The reality of all that I'd done hit me like a train-wreck and I found it hard to breath. Tears gathered in my eyes and I moved my hand to my mouth, trying desperately not to let myself sob. I couldn't do this. I couldn't continue to be Lissa's best friend. I was a bitch. A complete bitch.

Thankfully, when I got back to Christian's room, he wasn't there.

Not bothering to change out of my normal clothes, I curled up in my bed on the floor and allowed myself to sob until my throat hurt and my eyes were red raw. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep. I just needed the field experience to end, so that I could distance myself from Christian and Lissa more effectively.


	19. Chapter 19

**_An update! Will probably be every two days from now on, I'm back to school and have loads of coursework. I think this is still pretty regular though, so hope it's okay. I'm pretty bad with the timings and stuff, so I'll probably skip quite a bit of the school year, since I really don't have ideas for their everyday life at the Academy - it would become seriously boring. So hope that's not a big problem :( Thanks for all the reviews! _**

**_I've also just published a new original story on my wattpad account: aleexmariee _**

**_The story is called Under Cover of Darkness if anyone was interested in checking out some of my other work :) I'll put a link on my profile._**

* * *

_Chapter Nineteen_

My eyes flickered open, but instead of trying to get back to sleep like normal, I was instantly awake and sat up.

Standing up, I looked at Christian's sleeping form and smirked. I began to poke him mercilessly, saying his name incessantly. "Christian." Poke. "Christian." Poke.

"What do you want, Rose?" He groaned, flipping over and away from me.

I didn't hesitate to clamber on the bed with him and pull him back round to face me, grinning. "Any guess as to what today is?" I continued to poke him, finally getting a sensitive spot on his ribs, causing him to laugh and sit up.

"Yes, yes, happy birthday."

"Why thank you." I sat cross legged on the bed at the side of him, watching expectantly whilst he ran a hand through his hair and scrubbed at his eyes.

My enthusiasm was contagious and a huge smile found it's way onto Christian's face. "You really think I've got you a present?" He asked with a smirk.

I nodded immediately. "Of course I do." I replied, leaning forwards slightly as he went to his bedside table with an amused shake of the head.

His smile had dimmed slightly when he handed me a small parcel, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I kind of got you that before the Strigoi attack." He admitted. "On a bit of a whim, come to think of it, it probably wasn't such a good gift."

I decided there was no point thinking about his comments too much and ripped open the poorly wrapped present. I gasped when I lifted up the black lacy underwear. It was incredibly sexy.

I smirked at Christian. "Turn around." I told him seriously. There was no point in listening to the voices inside my head telling me this was exactly the opposite to what my response should have been. It was the last day of the field experience and we'd stayed away from each other in the last week.

Standing up, I removed my pyjamas and slipped on the bra and panties. They weren't just pants, either, it was a thong, showing off my toned bum perfectly.

Placing a hand on my hip and biting my lip, I told Christian to turn around. "So?" I checked, twirling for him to show of the revealing panties. "What do you think?"

Christian didn't respond with words, he had immediately sprung from the bed and moved his hands to caress my exposed flesh. "I really do have good taste." He commented, a finger coming dangerously close to my core.

I flushed and let out a small groan. Christian's lips responded accordingly, moving to brush against my lips.

I clung onto his shirt, clenching my fist and fully ready to slam my lips properly against his, but I was stopped by a knock on the door. My eyes widened in panic and I grabbed the clothes I'd just removed as well as the ones I would be wearing today and disappeared into the bathroom.

It wasn't before I'd smirked at Christian whilst he tried to hide the bulge in his pants, though.

I heard Lissa's voice travel through to me. "Rose is just getting changed." Christian told her whilst I hurriedly pulled on my clothes. I'd brought the wrapping paper with me and I shoved it into a cupboard. I couldn't quite bring myself to remove my present and pulled my clothes on over the sexy black garments. I bit my lip. Christian was definitely going to get to rip these off me later. That was the only birthday treat I was currently wanting.

"Hey Liss." I wasn't going to bother feeling miserable today. It was my birthday. I'd been holing myself up all week. I'd barely spoken to Christian and he'd asked me multiple times if I was feeling alright. Today I was going to enjoy myself and not let myself be weighed down by guilt.

"Happy birthday!" Liss exclaimed, pulling me into a tight hug. "I can't believe your eighteen!"

I laughed and then grinned at Eddie who was stood beside her, who repeated the actions Liss had just done.

"Now, come on, we have to go and wake Adrian up. We'll open presents in his room."

Christian had to go and get changed whilst I grabbed my shoes. We both cleaned our teeth quickly after than whilst Liss tapped her foot impatiently. "I thought you'd have been ready earlier." She complained.

I chuckled when we were finally ready and followed Liss down the corridor. We weren't really supposed to be walking around the corridors this early, so we kept silent until we reached Adrian's room, where I was forced to bash on the door until he came stumbling to open it. "Little dhampir, why so _early_."

I waited for him to click, giving him a pointed look.

"It's still too early, even for your birthday." He eventually said, moving backwards and allowing us all to come in.

Liss and I claimed the couch whilst Eddie, Adrian and Christian perched on the edge of his bed. Liss was beaming as she passed me her gift. I'd managed to refrain from prying through the bond at what it could be and Liss herself had done pretty well in keeping me out.

I ripped open the paper and 'ooo'd' at the pretty dress inside. "It's for graduation." Liss told me as I held up the floor length red gown. It was completely backless, I knew it'd look amazing on.

"Wow." I breathed, pulling her into a tight hug. "It's amazing. Thanks Liss."

Satisfaction was pouring through the bond and Adrian handed me his present then. I tore into the paper equally quickly and grinned at the rather large bottle of _Amor Amor _that was inside. "Thanks Adrian." I leant forward and gave him a gentle squeeze. I'd nearly run out of the bottle I'd taken from him at the ski resort since I'd taken to wearing a small amount every day.

Christian passed me a small package then and I was almost surprised, though I supposed it would be weird if he hadn't got me anything, and I wasn't exactly going to tell people about the underwear I was wearing.

Inside was a small bracelet. It was made from woven black leather, with silver thread running through it, and a silver clasp. "It might be a bit small." Christian said awkwardly, reaching forward and helping me to put it on. "It's supposed to be tight, so you can wear it in training."

It fit perfectly and I beamed at him, wrapping my arms round him and being cautious to make sure my hug wasn't too long. "I love it."

He handed me two more packages then. "These are from my Aunt and Dimitri."

Lissa had told Christian about me and Dimitri the night that they'd spent together in the week. She'd obviously thought that I wouldn't know about it because I should have been asleep, but their illicit activities had unfortunately woken me up. Christian had been pretty convincing in his surprised reaction. "Thanks."

I pulled the paper of quickly and couldn't help but let out a small smile at the two identical tubes of my favourite lip gloss that Dimitri had bought me. He knew I'd not be able to go and fetch any myself until graduation. Liss was watching my face curiously, but didn't say anything.

A grin spread across my face when I opened the one from Tasha. She'd bought me a pair of shoes, cream and with heels so sharp that she'd had to put them in a box before wrapping. In one of the shoes was some lipstick, the exact same colour as my dress. It was obvious that her and Liss had coordinated. "Say thanks to Tasha for me." I told Christian lifting the shoes out and admiring them some more.

Eddie passed me a package next and I glanced at him in surprise. I hadn't really expected him to get me anything and, to be honest, it was kind of hard for us novices to get anything from the outside world anyway.

I couldn't help but grin at the bottle of vodka he'd somehow managed to acquire. It wasn't a big one, but it was the real stuff and I leant forward to give him a hug. "Thanks Eddie."

He chuckled. "My pleasure."

"Okay." Liss spoke after we'd all finished admiring my presents. "Let's go and get breakfast. It's a shame we have normal lessons." She pouted. "But we're absolutely having a sleep over tonight." I could tell she'd been planning this for ages. Christian seemed to be oblivious, though. "We're all going to stay in Adrian's room tonight and watch films and stuff." From Eddie's face I knew that she'd only made sure this was okay with Adrian. Liss had probably been scared I'd work it out through the bond. This was her version of a surprise party.

"Sweet." I was forced to say, any chance of Christian getting to appreciate my underwear gone out of the window.

Christian kept glancing at me longingly, a small frown on his face. I would have chuckled if I hadn't been equally as disappointed.

The rest of the day passed quickly but after we'd all eaten, we went back to our respective rooms to fetch some bedding. Eddie and I were going to just move our stuff since we'd be moving it back to our own rooms now the field experience had ended anyway. Lissa was going to help Eddie carry and Christian would help me.

As soon as we'd walked through the door, though, I found myself backed against the wall. Christian's lips were insistent as they left a trail of hot kisses from my collar bone to my ear. "We have enough time, don't we?" He breathed in between kisses. I moaned gently and shivered in his arms as his teeth nibbled gently on my lobe.

"Christian." I'd meant to say it seriously, but it came out in throaty gasp as his hand snaked underneath my shirt and brushed against my nipple mercilessly.

Wasting no time, Christian allowed his other hand to slip south and caress my startlingly wet folds. I slapped my hands to my mouth as the moan I let out was far louder than I'd expected.

"You like that?" Christian continued to kiss my neck, though I knew he wouldn't be leaving marks, whilst two of his fingers slipped inside of me as far as they could go, pumping so hard and fast I squirmed between his body and the hard wood of the door. His thumb was pushed hard against my sensitive nub and his other hand pinched my nipple roughly.

I threw my head back against the door as I felt my climax coming. "_Christian_ oh my _God_." I couldn't stop myself making noises as I came apart against him. Pleasure rippled through my body and I arched my back almost painfully whilst he continued his assault, allowing me to ride out my orgasm for what seemed like an age.

"Fuck." I muttered when I finally recovered, my legs having become significantly weaker.

Christian was wearing a satisfied smirk, though. "And that's your last birthday present from me." It was obvious he was still annoyed we couldn't have sex, but seeing me breathless had clearly made him smug. "You should probably go clean up."

I did as he suggested and sprayed some of the perfume Adrian had got me, scared I smelt like sex. Glancing in the mirror, my cheeks were flushed and my eyes still wild. I didn't even look this alive during fighting. I sighed. I was sure I could have this with someone else, it just wasn't realistic right now.

When I returned to the room, Christian had packed my sheets into the bags I brought them in and was picking the pillows up. "Thanks." I told him, going to pick up the bag. I'd led Christian carry the pillows, since they were more awkward. The bag was just heavier.

He gave me a small smile and I couldn't resist grinning back. I had to not think negative thoughts today. That was my goal. Leaning forwards, I received a soft but lingering kiss on my forehead. "Let's go. We've probably still taken quite long."

I nodded and we walked side by side down to Adrian's room. We were right in thinking that Lissa and Eddie were already there and they had a range of DVDs spread out across the bed. Liss was considering them all equally, picking them up and reading the back.

"What do you feel like watching?" She inquired, gesturing to the large collection. "It's your choice."

I let my eyes wander over the various genres and titles. Most of them were romance, which I knew Lissa was rooting for. I really didn't think that was a good idea, though, and so, much to her distaste, I picked up a horror film. "Sorry Liss." I apologised with a small chuckle.

She scowled, but put in the DVD. We normally watched romance and it was my birthday, so I didn't feel too guilty.

Since Christian and I had been the last ones into the room, we were left to have the sofa. The film I'd picked out actually turned out to be relatively creepy, as well as having an annoying amount of romance. Christian had the nerve to smirk at me when I jumped for the first time.

Half way through, he leant over and I felt his mouth brush my ear. "You're still wearing your sexy underwear, aren't you?"

I bit my lip slightly, having glanced around the room to make sure everyone was absorbed by the film. "I am." I mouthed back, my finger slipping just below my waistband.

Christian had to let out an amused smile and shake his head, though he looked particularly tortured throughout the rest of the film.

I almost chuckled. It was so unfair that I'd been forced into this situation again.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Hmm, I'm unsure about this chapter. It was going to put something else in it, but then decided it would be too long, so that'll go in the next one. I've skipped quite a lot, I know, but I had no ideas to take up the many, many average school days that they would have had. It made more sense, I thought, to try and stick to the interesting bits, since I've had criticism about sometimes waffling and making things too boring in other stories. So, hope no one is too annoyed that I've moved forwards a bit! _**

**_Thanks a lot for the reviews, of course! They all make me incredibly happy! :D_**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty_

My hair, straightened for once, was slightly irritating against my back as I smoothed out my long red dress. My make-up was done to perfection and I kept wanting to touch my lips, not used to the feel of the deep scarlet lipstick. Lissa, of course, looked much more glamorous than I did in a floor length silver gown. Her hair was tied up in an intricate bun – a style she'd been practising every day for the past week.

"I'm so excited." She gushed, beaming as she made the final touches to her make-up. Her cheeks glowed with a healthy red tint thanks to the blusher she'd applied and her eyes glowed, rimmed in a small amount of black eye-liner.

"Me too." I had to admit. This was what I'd wanted ever since first coming back to the Academy. To be Liss's guardian. And I'd actually gone through the stage where I thought it was an unrealistic possibility. I touched the bandage that covered the back of my neck. I'd scored exceptionally well on my trials. There was no reason that I wouldn't be assigned to Liss now.

Grabbing a bag, Liss opened her door. "We should go and fetch the guys. Christian said him and Eddie would go to Adrian's room to wait for us." I followed her, going slowly since I wasn't so used to walking in the heels. "I can't believe your mum came."

I honestly hadn't been _too _surprised my mother was here. We'd reconciled, to some extent, after Spokane and I knew she cared about me more than I'd always thought. There had been an unexpected amount of pride shining in her expression when I'd completed the trial and they'd read my scores out.

Now it was off to the gym, so that they could read out our assignments, and then to the main hall, to have the big party. That would be something like the ball we'd had earlier in the year. The only difference was that this time there would be no after party, unfortunately. Kirova had tightened up the rules on that and was going to be doing some kind of sweep of rooms before the ball ended to make sure no one had any plans.

Liss had passed with flying colours as well. Luckily, she'd been studying so hard for her own end of year assessments that she hadn't really questioned my absence at lunchtime or after school. I'd told her I was really focused on training for the trials and was using up all my spare time doing that and she'd believed me. And, really, I had been spending my time training, it just hadn't been for that reason.

Christian was a lot more sceptical, but after pestering me about it in training and getting nowhere, he'd eventually given up and left me to it. It wasn't that I never spent time with my friends, it was just a lot less frequently. It was easier that way. All my company did was make me feel guilty. At least I could try and avoid my feelings whilst I was occupied with running and staking and lifting.

My plan seemed to have worked, too, in some respects, as well as proving that Dimitri had apparently been right. Christian and Lissa were back to being all over each other, much to my sleep's distaste. I'd become better at guarding my mind when I went to sleep, but their late night escapades still managed to break through sometimes. I seemed to lose a little bit of something every time, but it had to end eventually. I couldn't care so much about Christian. Maybe it was more to do with having to watch Liss have a perfect life whilst I got nothing, like I'd originally thought.

As for Christian and I, we'd slowly stopped having our intimate moments. At first, after the field experience had ended, training became a lot more heated. We'd come close to kissing regularly, though our lips had never met and the tension had been incredible. Slowly, though, those occurrences faded and we went back to just being Christian and Rose, without any of the bizarre feelings. I still felt things, of course, but it was much easier to hide when I wasn't getting a response.

Unwilling to let these thoughts bring me down on my big day, I focused on not falling over and concentrated on the dull pain I was still feeling from my new tattoo. Liss didn't bother to knock on the door to Adrian's room and waltzed in, grinning at everyone in the room as they admired her appearance.

Adrian's eyes didn't stay on Lissa for long, though, and they soon found me, making their way up and down my body slowly. He moved forwards and grasped my hand, winking before giving me a cheesy kiss just on my knuckles. "You look truly devastating little dhampir."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Why thank you, Adrian." He continued to smirk at me whilst I let my eyes fall on the other people in the room: namely Christian, though I tried to be subtle about it.

Our eyes met, but he looked away from me instantly, returning his full attention to Lissa, who was chatting to them both about something. Eddie looked the happiest I'd seen him in a long time. He'd finally done himself proud, rather than feeling like he wasn't good enough like he had been doing since Mason's death.

My eyes lingered on Christian now I knew I was free to check him out without him noticing. He was wearing his classic black shirt and trousers, his hair as stylishly messy as ever. Liss had gone out of her way to buy him a tie that would match her dress this time, though, and the thin piece of material contrasted with his clothes perfectly and matched his pale complexion.

Making myself hold in the sigh that wanted to fall from my lips, I suggested that we head down to the gym. We were supposed to be there on the hour and there were only ten minutes to go. I suspected most people were already there.

I shouldn't have really been surprised at just how cramped the gym was, with all the dhampir and Moroi families visiting, but there was barely any room left for us when we arrived. Of course, not all the Moroi here would even receive guardians, and many of the novices here wouldn't be assigned to Moroi that were graduating today, or even Moroi at all. Some would go to Court, or other academies.

Still, everyone showed up and was curious just to see who got what they wanted and who didn't.

Whilst Alberta explained exactly what would be happening, two familiar faces pushed their way through the crowd to join us. Tasha was dragging Dimitri by the hand and there was an amused smile on his face. I'd been completely right that Tasha and Dimitri were together, though it didn't cause the same dull ache in my chest that seeing Christian and Lissa being romantic did.

"Hey guys." She grinned, speaking in low tones so as not to interrupt Alberta's speech. She appeared very confident, though standing here now, I was finally beginning to doubt myself a little. Maybe Liss would just get two or three experienced guardians. Whilst I might be the best in my graduation, did that mean I was good enough for the last Dragomir?

"Well done in your trials, both of you." Eddie had scored almost as highly as me and he was guaranteed a good assignment, even if it wasn't a Moroi he particularly cared about, it would be a prestigious one. I smiled in response to Dimitri's comment and he appeared almost awkward as he stood with his hand intertwined in Tasha's.

We all fell silent as Alberta began to read out the names, though. I felt insanely sorry for Meredith when it was announced that she had been assigned to Jesse. I held my breath when it came to Eddie. Thankfully, Jesse had already been taken, so there was nothing to worry about there. Only Ralf would be a real disappointment.

"Eddie Castile, you have been assigned to Christian Ozera."

Shock ran through me. Christian wasn't at all a prestigious assignment, though of course Eddie looked thrilled. I saw Tasha's smug smile, though. She'd obvious been campaigning for this and had gotten her way.

Both Christian and Eddie manoeuvred their way through the crowd so that Christian could present Eddie with a stake (wrapped in cloth so that the silver wouldn't affect the Moroi) as was tradition. They shared a friendly grin as Alberta nodded for them to go and retake their position on the floor so she could continue reading.

When it got to my name, I held my breath. Lissa was doing the same and her hand found mine as she waited for Alberta's announcement. Liss had no doubt that I was going to be her guardian, especially after my performance in the trials, but the suspense was still high.

"Rose Hathaway, you have been assigned to Vasilisa Dragomir."

Lissa began to drag me through the crowd, only letting go of my hand when we reached the stage. Neither of us stopped grinning, though. It was finally real. I was _officially _Lissa's guardian. Lissa gave me the stake and then pulled me into a tight hug.

We got down after that and laughed with each other. "I can't believe it." Lissa mused. "Everything's turned out so perfectly."

Of course it was completely ideal for her. She had the perfect guardian, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect friends. It seemed to her that nothing could go wrong. I forced myself not to be bitter and simply returned a large smile.

"Can we get out of here now?" Adrian checked as they read out the last name. "It's boiling."

We all followed him towards the main hall, where it had the exact same layout as when the royal ball had occurred. This time, though, there was a mixture of royal, non-royals and dhampirs spreading across the room, all filing through the door since the assignment ceremony was over.

Thankfully we got a table to ourselves, since we were one of the first groups in, and I found myself sitting between Lissa and Dimitri. I danced with almost everyone, even Lissa for a bit, due to her excitements. Somewhere down the line, I found myself on the dance floor with Christian's hands holding me – though not as tightly as the last time we had danced. He'd probably only asked because Liss was off dancing with Adrian.

"Congratulations." His voice was gentle as we moved in sync with each other. Whilst we might be as close any more, there was no denying that we danced well together and I couldn't stop myself from grinning at him.

"You too." I returned. "I'm impressed you managed to make it to the end of the year without being kicked out."

Christian smirked. "I could say the same about you."

We moved slightly closer to each other in the next turn and Christian's hand tightened against my bare back. I tried desperately not to flush. "I think Liss might have better taste in dresses than my Aunt." He teased, his thumb moving subconsciously against my smooth skin.

I chuckled. "I'm glad you approve."

The flirting had become natural between us now that we were this close to each other again without beating each other up. "I can't believe you got Eddie." I decided it was best to change the subject, despite how much I really didn't want to.

"I know." Christian agreed. "It's great. My Aunt pulled some serious strings to achieve that." He admitted. "She wasn't even sure if she'd done enough."

"Europe's going to be fun." I was still undecided whether I was actually still excited for the trip. Since I'd been distancing myself my friends more and more, it might be weird going back to spending all day every day with them.

"It is." He coincided, a gleam in his eyes that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "It feels like I don't really see you any more." He was being brave, and I thought I saw a small flush on his cheeks. "Even in training, it's not the same."

I sighed, feeling an overwhelming urge to rest my head on his chest. "I know." I admitted. "It'll be fine. I've just been stressed. It's not a big deal." The lie was easy and wasn't even a complete lie. I had been stressed, just not for the reasons I'd expressed.

Christian tightened his grip on me further and almost every part of us was touching now. I tried not to be self conscious, wondering if anyone was watching us. "It's a big deal." Christian's voice, filled with a mix of genuine sadness and desire, brought me from my thoughts and my eyes snapped to his striking blue ones. I flushed and bit my lip as our movements continued without falter.

We didn't say anything else, but just continued to dance. My mind was whirring. What did that mean? Maybe it was just being put this close to me after so long Christian had been reminded of what we'd _had _together. Maybe he was just pretending to care because he knew how miserable I really was, but didn't want to face it head on.

When we finally sat back down, I wasn't sure if I was delighted or devastated. It didn't really matter either way, though, nothing would change. This was just graduation night. Everything would return to how it had been before tomorrow. I found myself smiling at Christian. At least I'd had my last dance with him.


	21. Chapter 21

**_Hmm, I'm really unsure whether I should have put this in, but I think it's important for the next chapter, so I hope anyone isn't too unimpressed. Thanks for all the reviews! I got so many last chapter, thank you to all my new reviewers, I'm so glad you've enjoyed the story so far! _**

**_Please review. :') And check out the wattpad story on my profile if you're interested in my original works :D_**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-One_

I opened the door to my room. My feet were killing, though I wasn't _too _bothered considering how many compliments I'd received on my appearance.

Just before I could collapse onto my bed, though, my surroundings changed and suddenly Christian's incredibly handsome face was swarming my vision. His eyes were shining with desire as Lissa was dragged into his room and pushed against the door. Of course, it wasn't the brutal shove I'd received, the one that had been full of pure need when we'd been in that exact same situation, he was always gentle with Liss.

I almost pulled myself out, but was stopped by the glint in his eyes. Lissa hadn't noticed it, but I did simply because it was so different to the one that he always gave me. Well, always _had _given me. He seemed almost distracted as he pulled the dress off her. His hands were gentle as they ran over my skin and Liss was too consumed by the desire flowing through her to notice was I was.

I sighed, deciding I was just imagining it and pulled out of her head, leaving me stood in my room, completely deflated. There was no chance Christian was thinking of me whilst he slept with Liss. I'd just been imagining that far off look. I'd probably mistaken it for the love he felt for Liss; that's why it had been different to when we'd slept together.

Grimacing at the joy I was now feeling through the bond, I glanced around my room. My eyes widened when they fell on my birthday present from Eddie. I'd been saving it for a special occasion, but I decided now was as good as ever. I refused to sit by myself on my last day at the Academy being forced to endure Liss's pure delight. I could numb the bond with the vodka and wallow in my own head instead.

After taking a couple of swigs, I decided that drinking by myself wasn't going to be fun. It might not be the best decision, but right now I needed someone to get drunk with, who wasn't going to judge me.

I was outside Adrian's door faster than I'd anticipated. I couldn't feel my drink yet, but I knew when I had Adrian with me, the liquid wouldn't last long.

He was clearly shocked when he opened the door to find me stood there, still clad in my fancy dress, but this time donning a bottle of vodka. "Rose?"

I shrugged. "Want to get drunk?" I suspected he'd probably already had quite a bit to drink, but I also knew he'd agree.

"Of course, little dhampir." He let me in and I got comfy on the bed, moving the pillows so that I could rest my back on them and took another swig of my drink. "You're drinking that straight?" He inquired, watching me curiously.

"Erm, well, I don't have anything to mix it with." I really hoped he was going to offer me something. The burning at the back of my throat when I swallowed wasn't pleasant.

He disappeared into his tiny kitchen and returned with a bottle of lime cordial. "Fancy." I commented, taking that and a glass which he'd retrieved from him. "Thanks."

He'd poured himself a drink and sat down next to me, watching me closely as I took several sips on the drink. "What brings you to my room, little dhampir?" He asked, taking a gulp from his own glass.

I sighed. "Liss pulled me into her head. She's _with _Christian." I told him blatantly. "I refuse to sit in my room and endure that. So I've come to numb the bond and spend time with you."

Adrian's eyes widened, but he didn't stumble over his words. "I see. Well, you know you're always welcome." He frowned, probably observing my aura before he drank so much they disappeared. "You are looking particularly black."

"Yeah." I agreed. "I'm feeling it."

"Does this happen often?" He asked, still watching me, though I was unsure if he was still looking at my aura, or just generally checking me out now. "Why did it bother you so much tonight?"

"It happens quite a lot." I admitted. "Though I've gotten better at blocking it out. It just annoys me that I have to experience her perfect life." I muttered bitterly. "Especially not when I finally got what I wanted, only it's still not as good as what Liss has." I didn't mention the jealousy I felt towards her getting to be with Christian. No one needed to know about that.

Adrian clearly didn't really know how to address that exactly, so he didn't bother. "Christian and Lissa are good, then?" He inquired, surprising me slightly.

"Erm, well yeah, they're great." I replied. "Why?"

"Christian's aura's just looked darker than normal." He explained. "I thought it might be something to do with their relationship.

I frowned. Something was wrong with Christian? Maybe it was just that the guilt was bugging him more than he thought it would. Or perhaps he'd just been genuinely worried about graduation and not getting a guardian. "How long has it been like that?" I checked, realising that I'd finished my drink. My head was starting to buzz now and I welcomed it. The love was no longer trying desperately to pull me into Liss's head.

Adrian pondered this for a while. "I'm not sure." He decided. "Maybe, a little bit after the Strigoi attack?"

"Well that's probably why." I replied immediately. "I mean, he was captured. And," I paused. "Well, he didn't exactly have a good time in there. They mentioned his parents and stuff. They offered him the option to turn." I knew Adrian wouldn't tell anyone and it was better than him thinking that Liss and Christian were having relationship issues. "He's probably been feeling pretty down after that. He said he had nightmares after Spokane. He's probably still having them now."

Adrian didn't look like he doubted me at all. "I didn't realise he'd have told you all that." It was an innocent comment. He was just genuinely surprised.

I shrugged. "I stayed in his room for seven weeks." I reminded him. "I think he just needed to tell someone and try and calm me down, since I was still having bad dreams." I didn't bother mentioning that my nightmares had returned with full force since the field experience had ended. They seemed worse, if anything, and now varied between the attack on the Academy and Spokane. It was always Christian they featured now, too.

"That sucks." Adrian replied, standing up to go and make himself another drink whilst I poured myself one. "I won't mention it to Liss, then."

I nodded. "Good idea. She'll worry. Christian will be fine." I was sure that he would. Though a bolt of worry had run through me at the idea maybe Christian really was suffering. I'd ask him in practice, just to make sure he was actually okay. Not that he'd be likely to tell me, especially if he hadn't told Lissa.

"So," Adrian began, retaking his seat at the side of, so close that our arms were now brushing. I looked up at him, my vision swimming slightly, causing a small smile to curl on my lips. "Dimitri and Tasha. How are you feeling about that?"

I shrugged. "I don't really care." I admitted. "It's a bit weird, more than anything."

Adrian was positively surprised at this. "What?" He demanded. "But, last time you were so, I don't know."

I realised my mistake. I should have just pretended to be head over heels for Dimitri. It wasn't worth the explaining I was going to have to do. "I don't know. I just, seeing him, last time, it wasn't the same. I thought he'd come back and we'd be all lovey-dovey and we'd have good sex and it would be back to normal and I'd end up falling more in love with him, but it wasn't." I paused. "When I saw him, we didn't just sit and talk. It didn't feel the same any more." I hoped that was enough to answer Adrian's questions. "Maybe I just wanted him because I couldn't have him."

That wasn't true, I was sure. But the thought caught me off guard. Maybe that was why I was so into Christian right now, because it could never happen. My face fell completely. It couldn't be. The only reason my feelings towards Dimitri had faded was because I'd started feeling something for Christian.

Adrian was watching me closely and so I quickly recovered a neutral expression. "You're completely over Dimitri?" He checked, disbelievingly.

"Well, I wouldn't say completely over." I replied, frowning. "I mean, it's still Dimitri. I'll probably always feel something for him. I just kind of realised that being with him wasn't as great as I'd thought it would be." I clarified. That was true, at least. Spending that two weeks with Dimitri hadn't been the romantic whirlwind I'd expected.

"Hmm." Adrian pondered this, running a hand through his messy hair which suited him so well. His green eyes were watching my face for any signs. "So why don't you give me a chance?"

I had to resist the urge to sigh. "Adrian, I don't know." I averted my eyes. "I don't want to lead you on."

Before I could explain more, Adrian had put his hand on my chin and lifted my face so I was forced to look at him. I was so drunk that my reaction time had slowed enough for me to not respond to his descending lips until they were already on mine.

His kiss was insistent and it was my automatic response to move my lips against his. My mind was racing and so my body was making its own decisions. I found myself opening my mouth when he asked for entrance and allowing my tongue to dance with his. Lust hummed through me. I realised how much I missed sex and my hand found its way into Adrian's hair.

He groaned against me and I pulled away to catch my breath. Adrian didn't stop in his assault, though, and his lips moved to pay some attention to my neck.

"Adrian." My voice had meant to be stern, but it came out as a breathy moan and he groaned in response. "Adrian." I repeated, more in control of myself this time. "Adrian, I can't."

He removed his lips, coming to look me directly in my eyes. "But you want to." He replied bluntly. "I can see it. You want me."

And he was right. My body was consumed by a heat I hadn't felt for so long. I wanted sex, not particularly him, though. The alcohol wasn't helping either.

I'd obviously been staring at him without replying for too long, though, because his lips pushed roughly against mine again and his arm snaked round to caress my bare back. I tried to keep my thoughts straight whilst my body yearned for the physical contact.

Pulling on his hair to bring him away from me, I cleared my throat. "Adrian. I do want you." I admitted. "But I don't want to just have a one night stand with you, it's not fair. I don't want to just use you for sex. I care too much about you as a friend."

He groaned, pulling me flush against him, obviously warring with himself. "I don't care Rose. I _want _you to use me." Adrian let his lips fall to mine again and I kissed him back, though I was trying not to be too enthusiastic. It was when I closed my eyes and Christian's face swam in my vision that I realised I definitely had to stop. This wasn't all right. This was a dick thing to do.

I shook my head, desperately trying to stop myself from accepting his offer and letting him just take me. "I can't." I hung my head, the final decision made. "I'm sorry."

He sighed but nodded. "You're probably doing the right thing." He admitted. "For both of us. But, if you change your mind." He gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. "I'm always up for sex with you, little dhampir."

I chuckled. "I guess I should go back to my room." I commented, still slumped against Adrian whilst he rubbed soothing circles against my back. "I'm going to be dead tomorrow." I groaned. It was going to suck, trying to get ready to leave for court.

Adrian was watching me sceptically. "You should just stay here." He said seriously. I looked at him pointedly and he laughed. "You're too drunk to walk back and avoid the guardians."

"I'll be fine." I assured him, finally moving away from his warmth. As soon as I left the bed my head began to spin, though. I'd drank everything sitting down which meant I hadn't felt the full effects until now.

"Yeah," Adrian commented sarcastically. "I think you can stay here." Then he paused. "Or I can walk you back, if you want." He offered. "If you don't feel comfortable, or whatever."

I was tempted to take him up on his offer, but shook my head. "I'll just stay here." I told him. "Can I borrow some clothes?"

He nodded, removing himself from the bed and walking over to his draws, not swaying in the slightest. I didn't even think he was that drunk. He slung me a clean shirt and a pair of his boxers. "Here."

I stood up again, but grimaced as my head pounded. "Turn around." I demanded, waiting until he'd obeyed before lifting my dress over my head and leaving me in my underwear.

When I turned around to pick the clothes up, Adrian was staring right at me, a mixture of smugness and desire plastered all over his face. I scowled at him. "I told you to turn around." I complained, forcing myself not to blush under his obvious scrutiny. His eyes didn't turn me on the way Christian's did, but I was still hot from making out with him and still incredibly horny.

Knowing that he wasn't going to look away, I slipped on the clothes as quickly as I could before sliding under the covers and allowing him to pull me to his chest. I smiled slightly at the warmth he provided, but small amounts of guilt were flowing through me and I wasn't even sure why – maybe I felt like I was leading Adrian on by even letting him cuddle me, maybe I thought this was some kind of betrayal to Christian, despite the reason me being here was because he was fucking my best friend.

I sighed into Adrian's chest and he tightened his arms around me slightly. "Good night little dhampir."

I let my eyes flicker shut, finally relaxing and wrapping my arms around him in return. "Night Adrian." I replied, feeling myself drift off as he planted a soft kiss on my forehead.


	22. Chapter 22

**_Next chapter is up! I just finished watching Shingeki no Kyojin and omg. My feels are everywhere right now. It was so great and then I realised the next season isn't going to be out for like, two years. I'm pretty devastated. Just gotta read the fanfiction and daydream about Levi :( _**

**_Anyway, thanks for the reviews, I'm so happy I'm getting so many! They keep inspiring me to write, despite my sudden SNK sadness :(_**

**_Please review! _**

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Two_

The door opening and a sharp cry of my name was what woke me from my peaceful sleep, causing me to scowl and bury my head further into the warm object that was beside me.

"Rose." My name was repeated multiple times until I was forced to open my eyes and turn over to glare at Liss.

"Liss, my head is killing me, please." I complained, realising how much of a compromising situation this appeared to be, but trying to play it cool. My heart sunk when I noticed Christian behind her. He was staring at me, his face giving away nothing.

Liss's mind was racing. Her eyes darted from the empty bottle of vodka on the side, to Adrian's somehow still sleeping form beside me, which I'd been completely entangled with, to my dress which was in a pile on the floor beside the bed. "What happened?" She demanded, excitement coursing through her. She guessed I'd finally given Adrian a chance, of course.

"Nothing." I tried to assure her seriously. "I just came and got drunk and then I was too wobbly to walk back to my room." I explained.

Liss was smirking, completely unbelieving of everything I'd said. Christian's face had transformed into a full blown grimace as he let her speak. He wasn't even looking at me any more. It wasn't like he had a right to be jealous, though, or any real reason to be. "Oh come on, Rose. You can just tell me."

I sighed. "Nothing, honestly." I repeated, trying to convey just how much that was true through my eyes. Though I supposed it wasn't really true. We'd actually had quite a hot make out session.

"I don't believe you." She sung, moving to take a seat on the sofa opposite the bed. "Just look at you, you're all cuddling and cute and wearing his clothes. It's adorable."

"Look." I said bluntly. "I came to Adrian to get drunk because I wanted to numb the bond because you were fucking Christian." There was no other way she was going to believe me. "I really didn't want that on graduation."

Her face turned from excited to sad and even Christian's expression faltered slightly. "Oh, Rose." She gasped, averting her eyes with an ashamed face. "I had no idea, I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "It's not your fault." I assured her, immediately feeling guilty. "And it doesn't matter. But seriously, nothing happened with Adrian." I made myself smile.

"It really didn't, cousin, much to my disappointment." Adrian's groggy voice joined the conversation and I felt him arm tighten marginally around my waist, which was still hidden beneath the covers.

She sighed wistfully. "But it would have been so romantic."

I thought I might have heard Christian snort at that, but he covered it with a cough when Liss glared at him. "It really would." Adrian remarked, chuckling and finally removing his arm and standing up, looking like he wasn't hungover at all as he disappeared in to the bathroom.

"What time are we flying today?" I asked Liss, getting out of bed myself and walking over to the mirror to see just how exhausted I looked. I could feel the eyes on my bare legs and resisted the urge to groan. This has obviously been a terrible idea.

"Not until this evening." Liss assured me. "But I'm guessing you haven't even started packing."

I chuckled. "I don't exactly have loads to pack." I pointed out seriously. "It won't take me long." Then I scowled. "I'm going to have to walk back to my room in that dress." I complained, my face falling completely. It was going to be busy on campus, too, so I knew I'd receive plenty of stares.

Lissa laughed. "It'll be fine." She told me. "People will assume you stayed in my room."

I grimaced. "I bet they won't." I muttered. My reputation preceded me in situations like this. Sighing, I waited for Adrian to vacate the bathroom so that I could go and put my dress back on and go and have a shower. My head hurt and the idea of being on a plane for a couple of hours actually sounded quite appealing. It was just the packing and rushing around before hand that I couldn't be bothered with.

Liss was smirking at me when I came out of the bathroom dressed in my graduation clothes, no make-up left on and my hair giving away the fact I'd only just woken up. "Okay." She conceded. "You do look slightly conspicuous."

"Why did I do this?" I grimaced, having the urge to glare at Lissa for letting her late night activities reduce me to getting drunk with Adrian.

Christian looked like he was on the verge of opening his mouth and saying something, but thankfully he resisted.

I said goodbye to them all before heading out and trying to walk back to my room as inconspicuously as possible. Unfortunately, the worst possible person found me. "Rose Hathaway!" My mum exclaimed, striding towards me and causing a few wary looks in my direction. I scowled at some of the people who's eyes were still lingering on me inquisitively. "Where have you been?" She was eyeing my appearance distastefully.

"I just stayed at Lissa's last night." I lied fluently. "It's really not what it looks like."

She regarded me sceptically once more before nodding. "Okay." She agreed. "You look like hell, though." It was true. Although I'd actually slept okay, my hangover had given me the face of someone who hadn't slept for a week. I felt as rough as I looked, too. "Have you packed yet?"

I shook my head. "No, that's what I'm going to do now." I explained. "When are you leaving? Today?"

She ran an awkward hand through her hair. "Actually, I need to talk to you about that." I watched her suspiciously, but her awkward demeanour didn't last for more than a few moments before her guardian face was back in full force. "The Queen has assigned me to Adrian during your excursion to Europe." She informed me professionally.

My eyes widened. I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. "Oh, cool." I finally said. IT would either be a disaster, or I would get to spend some nice time with my mother and actually get to know her a bit. I didn't fancy getting constant criticism from my mother on my first real guardian trip, though.

She looked marginally surprised at my response but nodded. "Well, I guess I'll see you soon." She dismissed herself and strode off towards the guardian buildings.

Deciding I'd think about the consequences of my mother joining us on our trip later, I carried on towards my room, ignoring the looks and suddenly feeling even more exhausted.

It was taking me longer than I'd anticipated to pack. Probably because I was so untidy and so my clothes all needed folding. I also was having trouble fitting them all into the small case I'd got. I grimaced as someone knocked at the door. Couldn't I just be left alone with this shocking headache to pack at my own speed. It wasn't like it was even close to being time to leave.

I opened the door, trying not to look too annoyed at whoever was on the other side. I was surprised to see the mop of black hair and blue eyes, though, especially blue eyes shining with anger. "What's up?" I asked him warily, allowing him to step past me and into the room.

Christian began to pace, as he always had done when we'd been in a difficult situation. I leaned against the now closed door until he eventually stopped and faced me. "Did you sleep with Adrian?" He asked me bluntly.

I scowled at him. "No, you know I didn't. I said so."

"You were lying." He retaliated immediately. "It's not like you have a problem with lying to Liss."

My temper flared immediately. "So what if I did sleep with Adrian?" I decided this approach would be best. I smirked when I saw his eyes narrow considerably and his fists clench at his side. "Why would you care? I slept with Adrian whilst you were sleeping with Liss. I don't see the problem."

"Rose." Christian warned me, taking a step closer. "What are you doing?"

I scowled at him. "What do you think? Maybe I'm telling the truth. Maybe I'm not. I still don't see why it matters to you. You're with Liss, remember?" I wondered why he was so jealous. Perhaps it was because he did still care about me. Or maybe it was because he felt like he had some kind of claim over my body now. It didn't really matter either way. He didn't really have the right to feel jealous at all.

"Rose." Christian repeated my name, though it was tinged with pain this time.

"No." I stopped him, my anger in full force now. "I don't want to hear it, Christian. Why are you even here? Obviously I didn't sleep with Adrian. I wouldn't do that."

"Really?" Christian demanded, his eyes shining with rage, more black than the beautiful blue they normally were as he took another step closer towards me, so close that we were almost touching when he threw his hands up in the air. "You slept with me."

I tried not to flinch. It was true. I hadn't felt anything for Christian when I'd slept with him the first time. "It's different." I complained, trying to think of an argument. "I care about you."

Christian didn't bother to point out that we'd barely even been friends when we first fucked. Instead, he closed the small distance between us and smothered my lips with his desperately.

My response was immediately as I kissed him back roughly, demanding he open his mouth as my hands pulled him as close as was physically possible. He was equally as harsh as his nails dug into my back and he cupped my bum, grinding me into him.

It was the first time I'd had physical contact other than training for so long and I revelled it, desire swimming through my veins at a dangerously high level.

When Christian pulled away, finally too out of breath to continue kissing, I was forced to stop him before I was beyond the point of control. "Christian, we can't." I managed to breath out, meeting his eyes, which were black with lust.

He hovered, his mouth so close to my skin, but eventually sighed and loosened his grip on me. "I know." He admitted, letting his forehead rest against my neck as he wrapped a piece of my hair around his finger. "We lasted so long without doing anything. Even in training."

"It doesn't matter." I assured him. "I mean, this wasn't really anything. It's not a big deal. You'll probably forget about it soon enough." I didn't bother saying 'we'd' forget about it – this probably wouldn't leave my mind for a while now. I didn't have someone to distract me like Christian did.

"I doubt that." Christian muttered, though I was unsure whether I was supposed to have heard it or not. After a long pause, Christian removed himself from me entirely. "I should go and pack." He broke the silence, observing my room to see what progress I'd made.

I nodded. "Okay." I agreed, sitting myself on the edge of the bed as he opened the door. I had the sudden urge to cry, but was forced to maintain my neutral expression. Dipping forward to give me another gentle peck on the lips, Christian gave me the tiniest of smiles before exiting my room.

Once I was alone, I curled up into a foetal position and rubbed at my stinging eyes, determined not to let any tears spill. Nothing had really happened. It wasn't a big deal. It had just been a brutal reminder of what I was missing out on.


End file.
